Cardiff revisited Part 2

What else did I get up to last summer – when I had promised you all to finish my Merlin fan fiction? We-e-e-ll, among the exciting events I attended, the Cardiff ComiCon stands out as a highlight…especially, because it had two “Merlin” actors from the BBC’s stable attending.

Dr Who's Parking Issues

Dr Who’s Parking Issues

Camelot’s “King Uther” aka Mr Anthony Head was there and the shy and very cute little “Mordred”, aka Mr Alexander Vlahos, so naturally this writer had to go along. Wee “Mordred” walked right past me, as I stood in the long, long queue waiting for the doors of the Cardiff venue to open.

Cardiff ComiCon 2013

Cardiff ComiCon 2013

He’d arrived early to get “a feel for the place” it seems.

At first, painfully shy and hiding much behind his floppy hair, he soon relaxed and a couple of hours into the event he seemed to really enjoy himself, chatting happily to fans and having his picture taken with a multitude of fan girls and boys of all ages.

Mr Anthony Head, of course, was a seasoned hand at such an event and seemed as relaxed as a man can be.

Last year’s event was held at the end of August, but there’s another one this March, 1st and 2nd, so if you happen to be in Wales, do stop by. Ticket prices are going to be £6.00 in advance and £12.00 on the door on the day (see

It was complete mayhem on the first day, as literally thousands of people attended with a queue on the Saturday that wound right around the building and down the road…and then some more…

I wisely decided to go on the Sunday instead, when the first excitement had died down a bit. It was much better, especially when going first thing in the morning. By lunchtime though, the Cardiff Motorpoint Arena had filled up considerably, making it quite difficult to see or hear what the stars of the event were saying.

Main Stage Mayhem

Main Stage Mayhem

Thankfully, I managed to miss Mr Hasselhoff’s appearance…

Apart from inspecting some amazing stalls that sold pretty much anything from comic books to posters, memorabilia and autographs, I also saw many stars from some of the most famous fantasy and sci-fi TV shows and movies…squeak, I stood right by the friendly and very nice Tom Baker aka Dr Who, who was besieged by fans. I gawped at various Star Trek actors and was shocked to realise that I’ve practically been a Trekkie for the better part of my life.

Cardiff ComiCon queues 2013

Cardiff ComiCon queues 2013

In an upstairs part of the Motorpoint Arena various comic book artists, writers and producers of various shows held 30 minute talks, so if you’re a real nerd…erm…fan…be sure to be more organised than I was and get your tickets well in advance. For some of these special events you’ll need to buy additional tickets, while others are free.

Main Hall Comicon Cardiff 2013

Main Hall Comicon Cardiff 2013

At one point I got chased along the aisles by a “real” Dalek, which was a thrilling if somewhat frightening experience. I admired and tried to photograph the many fans who’d dressed up – not very successfully, as the hall was very dark and bathed in some horrid orange light. Most of my pictures didn’t come out at all, so here are the few that I did manage to go home with.

Who do you think this is?

Who do you think this is?

Actually, one of the reasons I attended the event was to check out if writers could use this type of event to connect with potential readers and fans of genre literature. As it happens, there were a few writers trying to showcase their books, some with their own artwork, so it seems an idea to turn up with a picnic table, a thermos of hot chocolate and my books at some future Cardiff and London events.

Maybe see you there?

Up close & personal with Mr Dalek

Up close & personal with Mr Dalek

As for my “Merlin” fan fiction, for those of you who are interested, I have uploaded what I’ve already written to and Once I’ve done the ending, I’ll upload it to these two sites, where it’s much easier to read chapter by chapter than here on WP. I’ll keep you posted!

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 20)

castle attacked by dragonsSo far I haven’t plucked up my courage to watch the final three episodes of the BBC’s Merlin, partly because then I won’t be able to remain in denial and must accept the show’s finally over and partly, because I made the fatal mistake of reading Twitter messages distraught Merlin fans had posted on Christmas Eve. They were clearly unhappy with the way the show ends and if what I read is true one can only assume amateur writers putting together their first short story for a local magazine competition could have done better than the Merlin/Shine Ltd team did…which would have spoiled my Christmas and my writing experience even more.

I also didn’t want to be influenced by what the Shine Ltd writers had concocted while I was still writing the ending to my own first fan fiction adventure. Initially I had planned to make part 20 the final part, but it was still so much fun writing it, I eventually expanded the battle for Camelot and stretched it out over two parts instead. Part 21. will follow shortly and will conclude the adventure nicely, methinks.

So here’s the penultimate episode for my own Merlin adventure – relax my dear Merlinians, my story will have a happy ending…of sorts…I cannot guarantee you won’t shed a tear but Arthur and Merlin will certainly live to fight another day!

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin! (Part 20)

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther.

At the Rowan entrance to secret tunnels leading into the caves under Camelot…

Arthur’s party had passed through Osthryth’s Fort unchallenged. Now his men were watching the entrance to the tunnels from the safe distance of a clearing in the forest. A small movement in the trees above signalled the return of Urien’s falcon. The prince held out his arm and the graceful animal swooped down from its perch. The falcon raised his leg and Urien detached a tiny silver cylinder, taking out the miniscule cork that stoppered it.

“How long do you think before Lot’s and Bres’ men get here, Urien?” Arthur whispered, thoughtfully turning Excalibur in his hands. He cast an anxious glance at the parchment in the prince’s hands. “We could do with some good news.”

“It’s from my friends in Bres!” Urien squinted at the piece of parchment and motioned Arthur and Merlin to come closer. Merlin raised the burning log he had picked up from a rather miserable fire that was struggling to bring a little warmth and comfort to their make-shift camp. The flickering light fell across Urien’s hands and lit up Arthur’s worried face.

Urien sighed. “Well, I guess you could call it good news of sorts. We must hold out until tomorrow evening. Even if they take the short cut through the Valley of Doom in Odin’s lands they can’t possibly arrive before sun set.” The prince looked up and sniffed the air. “Hm…camp fires…and close by. Stop tugging at my cloak, Siward, what do you want?”

Urien’s servant hastily retreated a couple of steps, when he saw the frown on his master’s face. “My lord, Kai and a couple of King Arthur’s scouts have just returned. A raiding party lead by one of King Leofwine’s most loyal knights has set up camp less than quarter of a league from here. At least two hundred men by Kai’s reckoning.”

“Then it’s closer to three hundred! That boy was never any good with sums!” Urien stamped his cold feet. “Damn, that’s three hundred men just waiting to sneak into the citadel through these tunnels. How on earth did Leofwine find out about them?”

“Probably the same way everybody else does who sneaks in and out of Camelot! Gaius thinks one of the dungeon’s guards is taking bribes,” Merlin sidled up to his king’s side. “Arthur, I have an idea how we can eliminate the threat from Leofwine’s men.”

Arthur turned and stared. “You…an idea?” He snorted dismissively, but Merlin’s serious face prevented him from teasing his servant further. “Go on surprise me…I’m willing to listen to anything…as long as it doesn’t involve herb salad and rabbits again.”

Merlin pulled a face. “No, but you’re on the right track. Our friends in the encampment have had such a long walk. Thirsty work, marching all day, don’t you think?”

“They’re camping by the Fort, plenty of water for horses and men,” Arthur frowned. “Merlin, don’t waste my time with riddles.”

“Why not let them have a small reward for their troubles?” Merlin jerked his head into the direction of the wine barrels, which a thoughtful Kai had managed to retrieve and smuggled back with their retinue. “I know strictly speaking this would involve the use of magic…but the wine’s enchantment is still powerful and…we have the pleasure of entertaining several ladies in our party.” Merlin pointed with a grin at Ethelgunda, Yolanda and a restless Lady Dragonara, who was pacing up and down in front of a palisade, where Gawain had tied up the horses.

“A honey trap! I like it! Good thinking, Merlin. Let Leofwine enjoy the taste of his own medicine.” Arthur called over two of his men. “I cannot spare any of my knights. Merlin, do you think you, Kai and Siward here can manage with one of my scouts?”

Merlin nodded. “Absolutely, but we will need at least one of the ladies to come with us.”

“You couldn’t make it my godmother, could you? She’s spooking the horses with her pacing and we really don’t want to draw any more attention to our presence here.” Arthur’s thumb pointed to the palisade, where two of the horses had started whinnying and stamping the ground with their hooves. “Merlin, don’t return to this place. Meet us at –“

Merlin raised an index finger to his lips and urged his king to caution. “I’ll find you, Arthur, never fear. Today is not the day where you’ll need to advertise for a new servant.”

“I shall, if your plan fails and a raiding party of Leofwine’s men overruns us!” Arthur clapped a hand on his servant’s shoulder and let it rest there for a moment. The two young men looked at each other briefly; then the king let his hand slide from Merlin’s shoulder and smiled wanly. “Come back in one piece, will you.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know you cared.”

“Of course I care…you were supposed to darn my socks and there’s still a tear in my cloak you promised to mend.” A grin spread across Arthur’s face, when he saw the hurt on Merlin’s face. He reached out and ruffled his servant’s dark curls. Merlin wrinkled his nose and pulled away from his king’s caress, knowing that any show of royal affection would invariably be followed by a knightly clout on the back.

Shortly afterwards Merlin, Kai and Siward together with one of the scouts and the Lady Dragonara sneaked out of the forest and made their way to the enemy’s camp. It was hard work pulling a cart containing heavy wine barrels across undulating forest ground, through dense undergrowth of fern and bracken, over rocks and fallen branches, but if Merlin’s arms ached at all, he ignored it and pressed his companions for greater haste instead.

Merlin bid Siward and Kai to take over his cart duties for a moment so he could hasten to Dragonara’s side.

“Foolish boy! What do you think this mission will accomplish? The wine’s enchantment is no longer strong enough, my earlier spell saw to that. Even if it were the same potion it once was it takes several hours for a full transformation to take place. You’re not going to lead an army of battle hungry trolls back to Arthur, but a garrison of love-sick puppies. We should be at his side right now, not gallivanting through the forest.”

“My lady, together we can enhance the potency of the wine. A three hundred-strong raiding party of trolls commanded by the ladies in our camp might prompt King Leofwine to enter into more civil negotiations with Camelot. Surely that’s worth a shot?”

“It’ll buy us time, I grant you, but the outcome will be just the same. There are simply not enough warriors protecting the citadel. A dragon’s heart must be handed over or Camelot and all its allies will fall.” Dragonara breathed in deeply, turned and stared back over her shoulder. A red glow had appeared on the horizon. She pointed to a column of smoke rising from the hills beyond the forest. “Look, my fate is sealed, Merlin, there’s nothing you can do.”

Merlin spun around and what he saw made him shudder. “The citadel is burning! You’re right! Camelot will fall if we don’t hurry.” He raced back to the cart and helped Kai and Siward pull the wine barrels with renewed vigour.

In another encampment in the forest surrounding Camelot…

“Where the hell have you been?” King Leofwine paced up and down at the tunnel’s entrance, scowling at one of his men.

The scout, who had just returned, fell down on one knee. “My liege! I did as you asked and rode to our encampment at Rowan to give them your signal to storm the tunnels as soon as Arthur’s party had entered.” The scout inhaled sharply and straightened his shoulders before continuing. “Sire…they’ve disappeared.”

“What do you mean…disappeared? My men entered the tunnels before you gave word, is that what you mean?”

“No, Sire.” The scout puffed up his cheeks and released air through his pursed lips with a hiss. “Puff…and vanished, is what I mean! Arthur’s party is gone…and what’s worse, Sire, so are our men! There is no sign they ever entered the tunnels at Rowan. The raiding party’s encampment was deserted, no horses, no weapons, no men. Do you think Arthur’s got magic?”

Leofwine stared at the smoke clouds swirling up from the air shafts under the citadel. He raised his fist into the air. “They must have entered the tunnels before we were ready! Fools, don’t just stand there, give the signal, we’re going in!”

The captain of Leofwine’s personal guards intervened. “Sire, without our raiding party at Rowan we are three hundred men short and have no idea where Arthur and his men are hiding. The King of Camelot will know these tunnels and caves like the back of his hand. If there really is a dragon living in the great cave –“

“Look for yourself, fool! It’s there alright.” Leofwine pointed to the red glow of flames that shot out from cracks in the rocks of the bluff on which Camelot had been built. He pulled a large crystal from a leather satchel dangling from his belt. “I saw it. My crystal doesn’t lie!” The king waived the stone wildly towards the tunnel entrance, where ringlets of smoke drifted up into the cold night air and joined the clouds of white smoke billowing from the citadel’s many fires.

“Just listen to that rumbling sound…like distant thunder. Can’t you tell, man…it’s the beast’s last goodbye?” A smile stole across Leofwine’s grey face and he bared his teeth like a wolf about to pounce. “Mark my words, at dawn I shall carve out her cheating heart.” Leofwine dropped the crystal back into his satchel and tore out a piece of parchment instead.

“Listen to this: Camelot’s impudent Queen Guinevere dared to send me an ultimatum! A servant girl dictating terms to me! She’ll soon learn what makes a real king.” Leofwine laughed unpleasantly. “Who knows, if she apologises nicely…I might overlook her youthful arrogance and make her my future queen. I hear she’s rather pleasing to the eye and she might bear me many sons.”

The captain of the guard took the parchment Leofwine held out to him and read out loud. “Come and get your prize from the great cave if you dare. It was Arthur who captured the dragon and put her in chains. If you are a worthier warrior than the king of Camelot himself, I have no doubt the beast will be happy to oblige,” the captain shook his head. “Sire, this has all the hallmarks of a trap. Beware beautiful women who are too obliging is what my mother always used to say and I’ve always found her advice to be sound in this regard.”

But Leofwine no longer listened to his men. “Your mother, if I recall, also foretold the crown of Segovia would be worn by a servant’s offspring one day and her prediction was made more than forty years ago…as you can see, Segovia’s crown still sits firmly on my head and I promise you, only a man of royal blood will wed my Eleanor!” Leofwine selected an elaborately decorated sword from a row of weapons on a stand by the side of his tent. “Tell your mother to mind her own business – which is baking pies and dumplings, my friend, while mine is to rule and be a leader of men!”

The captain of the guards stared wordlessly at his hands, folding the parchment into ever smaller pieces, before handing it back to his king. The seasoned warrior’s grizzled head bowed in a silent salute and he turned on his heal to signal to his men.

Disregarding him, King Leofwine draped a fur-lined cloak around his shoulders and fastened it under his chin. “Let’s not keep Queen Guinevere waiting. If we can trap Arthur and his men between us and the dragon, the beast will decide who lives and who dies today.” Leofwine raised his sword and hurried into the dark abyss, his cloak billowing behind him in the wind, Segovia’s crown glittering in the light of the flames that had sprung up all around the tunnel entrance and further up on the bluff, where the citadel stood in blazing in the night and the screams of the men and women inside could be heard across the realm.

The captain sighed and drew his sword, following the leader of men into the tunnel, at the end of which he suspected nothing good would emerge. Had not his mother always said how those who ruled today would find out tomorrow there was always a power greater than theirs?

In a forest clearing by the tunnel entrance at Geoffrey’s Rest…

“Merlin, where have you been? Arthur’s been spitting nails and hell fire.” Gawain clouted his friend’s ears with rough affection the moment the young sorcerer appeared in the camp. “You were gone for hours! What happened? You’re not telling me Leofwine’s soldiers refused wine and song in favour of water and bread?”

Merlin raised his arms to protect his head and dived behind the relative safety of Percival’s bulk suddenly rearing up behind the friends. Merlin’s hiding place didn’t save him for Percival pulled him out and shoved him gently but firmly into the centre of an emerging circle of friends. Sir Leon, Percival and Elyan had joined them noiselessly. Gawain eyed Merlin anxiously. “Did your plan succeed?”

Merlin beamed. “Look for yourself, my friends.” He inclined his head to the left, where to Gawain’s astonishment a single file of trolls followed the Lady Dragonara through the forest like a herd of mild-mannered sheep.

“By all the fair maidens you’ve kissed in taverns and all the beer in we’ve had in Arthur’s realm…those trolls are even uglier than you were…and that’s saying something, Gawaine!” Sir Leon watched the line of lovelorn trolls with appreciation before remarking with a grin: “A sight to warm my heart. Armed to the teeth and ready to do mischief in the name of their beautiful captain! Makes me wonder, if I shouldn’t appoint a woman to lead our future castle guards.”

“Appoint Dragonara as the captain and I promise none of us will be late for guard duty or grumble at having to sit through night watch ever again!” Gawaine inclined his head to stare open mouthed at Dragonara’s retreating rear as the next column of warriors rode by. Sir Leon dug his elbows into Gawaine’s ribs, alerting him to Arthur’s approach. “Erm…she’s a fine horsewoman, and probably handy with a sword. Just look at the way her body moves with the gait of the horse.” Gawaine said hurriedly, rubbing his side where Sir Leon’s disapproving elbow had left a bruise.

“Oy, that’s my godmother you’re eyeballing!” The last remark had not escaped Arthur and he grabbed Gawaine forcefully by the ear. “Isn’t there a battle you should be preparing for, my lusty knight?”

“Who needs an enemy army, when my friends can inflict so much more pain?” Gawaine’s watering eyes couldn’t resist following in admiration as the throng of Segovia’s enchanted warriors rode by. “I’m just glad Sir Leon thinks there’s going to be a future castle guard a woman could lead. What are our chances getting out of this alive, Arthur?”

Arthur let go off his knight’s ear and inhaled sharply. “Unless we can hold off Leofwine’s men until sunset…pretty much none, I fear.” He motioned to his knights to gather around and his loyal troops followed suit.

“You know what is at stake – Camelot’s very future will be decided tonight. By the flames coming from the bluff under the citadel I’d say the fires from Leofwine’s bombardment have already spread throughout the castle. We haven’t a moment to lose.” Arthur drew Excalibur and raised the sword into the air. “Each man must decide for himself, where he stands. That decision none can make for you. I know where I make my stand…for my heart, my soul and the hand that wields this sword are here for the love of Camelot!” He looked into the pale faces surrounding him and realised the forest around them had grown utterly still. “For the future of Albion!” Arthur cried, his voice ringing out into the night.

“For the love of Camelot!” The corresponding roar of his men echoed through the trees, seemingly bouncing off the hills and filling every heart with verve. “For the future of Albion!”

The horses began to whinny impatiently, their decorated harnesses gleaming in the light of the torches Segovia’s troll warriors held up to guide the way into the tunnel. To everyone’s surprise, it was not Arthur who led the knights into the mouth of the tunnel at Geoffrey’s Rest, the alternative entrance they had chosen to outwit Leofwine’s scouts.

Three women warriors headed the column of riders now streaming into the maze of caves. Merlin appeared at Arthur’s side and watched Dragonara’s horse enter the tunnel first.

“Do you think she’s still alive?” Arthur whispered and his blue eyes widened as he turned his pale face towards his servant. “How could I be so foolish and leave her unprotected without at least Sir Leon by her side? She’s never had to deal with a threat like this…and how could she, given her upbringing? If she dies because of my folly -”

Merlin rested his hand on Arthur’s sleeve. “If I know Gaius and his trusted friend Sir Edward, they’re concocting a surprise welcome for King Leofwine as we speak. Never fear, Sire, the queen’s well protected and awaiting your return.”

Startled by strange sounds coming from the citadel above, Merlin looked up and squinted at the blazing battlements, where one of the siege ladders had just crashed into the attackers below, burning men falling to their death on the raised lances and swords of their own comrades. He smiled wanly. “You forget Gwen’s used to sweeping intrusive dirt from Camelot’s steps.” Merlin was rather pleased about his little joke at Leofwine’s expense, but it fell on deaf ears.

Arthur just nodded absentmindedly; his unseeing eyes following Merlin’s fingers as they hurriedly tightened the leather straps that fastened plate armour and assemblies to the king’s arms and legs. “You’re right, Merlin. I should have more faith in Gwen’s ability to be queen…let’s not keep her waiting though. I don’t like the look of that smoke coming from the air shafts of the Great Cave.“ Arthur pulled his arm abruptly away, just as Merlin was trying to hand him his gloves. “Heavens above, did you hear that roar? That sounded just like a –“

“Dragon!” Merlin gasped, his eyes scanning the dark clouds in the sky. He felt his heart miss a beat and expected to see the wings and serpent head of his old friend Kilgharrah appear at any moment.

“You don’t think Gaius could have actually found a dragon, do you?”

Not waiting for an answer, Arthur ran towards the tunnel entrance where the last of Segovia’s troll warriors had just disappeared into the silent mouth of Geoffrey’s Rest. Merlin sprinted after him, elbowing his way through a swarm of Camelot’s soldiers heading for the same fate.

Merlin (Falco columbarius)

Merlin (Falco columbarius) (Photo credit: Larry Meade)

…to be continued…

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin (Part 19)

slowly riding knightDear Merlin fans, we now the end is nearing and the great battle is soon to take place…this chapter of my fan fiction could best be described as a filler chapter where I’m setting up a few characters for you to like a little more…so I can kill them off with a greater emotional impact in the next and final chapter…


On TV there are, of course, only two more episodes left before the whole show comes to an end, but here at my blog I will write more Merlin fan fiction in the not so distant future. One reason Morgana didn’t feature in “Let the Questing begin” was because she had such over-exposure on TV…the other reason was that I’m planning the next fan fiction piece in which she will feature, so hopefully you’ve enjoyed my take on the Merlin sagas enough to return for more!


The Honeymoon is over: Let the Questing begin!


Part 19.


From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana, Merlin, Arthur, Uther and the Great Dragon in the background. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.


The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwain), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther.




Outside Gaius’ chambers in burning Camelot…




Geoffrey of Monmouth crawled on all fours through the dust and debris to reach his queen, who was clutching her aching head, her ears still ringing from the explosion. Tears streamed down her dusty face, as she scrambled up. She stared at the smoke billowing through the open door. “Gaius, my old friend…Sir Edward and brave Hueil gone, too. Now all’s lost!”


Geoffrey held out a hand to his queen, raising her to her feet. “Don’t upset yourself, my lady, Gaius wouldn’t want that…he lived a long and fairly content life; I’m sure his last years were made all the happier for sharing them with young Merlin and finally seeing Arthur succeed to the throne. He was so proud of –“


“I wished you wouldn’t talk about me as if I were already in my grave, Geoffrey,” Gaius spluttered as he emerged from the smoke, Hueil’s steadying hand beneath his elbow. “I assure you there’s plenty of fight left in this particular court physician.”


Never one for court etiquette, Gwen threw her arms around Gaius and hugged him tight, before bestowing a grateful kiss on the noses of Hueil and Sir Edward, who came staggering through the door after his friends, both hands still firmly clapped over his ears.


“My dear old friend!” Geoffrey of Monmouth grabbed Gaius’ hands and shook them enthusiastically. “I thought you were dead!”


The old court physician raised an eyebrow and peered at the wall opposite his door. “I certainly shall be when Merlin discovers his favourite painting’s gone. Why that boy should be so attached to the subject of mountain lakes is beyond me. I find him staring at that picture of Lake Avalon quite often.” Gaius shook his head, dislodging a squashed leach from his long, grey hair. It landed at his feet, where it squirmed in the dust until Gaius took his revenge and kicked it back into the burning chamber.


“Perhaps it reminded Merlin of Ealdor, his mother’s village?” Gwen squinted at the burned remains on the wall.


“You’d think tavern signs would be more to his liking or pictures of nubile young maidens.” Gaius felt the heat rise to his cheeks when Gwen snorted, the only possible response to such an outrageous notion. Gaius clearly felt it politic to correct the impression he had just created for he hurried to add: “Purely in the interest of healing, you understand, Your Majesty. I am training him to be a good physician and knowledge of female anatomy is important, is it not?”


Hueil laughed out loud and clapped him on the back. “It certainly is in my experience, dear man!”


Blushing, Gaius sidled past his queen and scurried down the corridor as fast as his shaky legs would carry him. “You have no idea what ailments young maidens can report in the space of a day…and don’t even get me started on those drinkers in The Rising Sun tavern…and then there’s the bewildering subject of babies and childbirth! Erm…we’ll be safer down below, let’s head for the dungeons, my lady,” he cried over his shoulder, the queen following him with an amused expression on her face.


“Yes, let’s Gaius, and while we’re walking I shall enlighten you on the subject of dragons…babies and childbirth included.”


Gaius stopped in his tracks and turned on his heel. “Erm…what, my lady? What dragons would that be?”


“The one you and I shall conjure up, old friend.” Gwen beamed. She half-turned towards the smoking chamber behind her. “Do you think any of your…erm…more disagreeable supplies might still be intact?”


Gaius raised an eyebrow. “Now what are you up to, my girl?”


The queen had caught up with Gaius, who was still unsteady on his feet after his brush with poisonous death and greedy leaches. “One or two of your more temperamental ingredients might come in useful, don’t you think?”


She hooked her arm through his with a grip far stronger than the old physician had expected from such a petite lady and more or less dragged him back to his smouldering chambers, where she picked up an iron cauldron and shoved it rather unceremoniously into Hueil’s arms. “Hold this, will you, while Gaius prepares some Camelot magic that will make Leofwine’s ears ring for a long, long while.”


Most of the physician’s supplies had been incinerated but the odd temperamental ingredient still snoozed safely in its earthen-wear pot or leather pouch. He collected what was usable and could easily be found in the smoke-filled chamber, flung the stuff into the cauldron, only half understanding what his queen had in mind. When nothing more useful could be gathered, they hurried back into the corridor and down towards the main stair case to the dungeons, until Gwen stopped abruptly at a particularly gruesome tapestry that depicted one of King Uther’s raids on the local druid population. Gwen wrinkled her nose in distaste, instantly letting go off Gaius’ arm. She picked up a corner of the tapestry with both hands and tore down Uther’s shameful reminder. When the dust cloud had subsided a secret door was revealed.


The queen turned to one of the wall sconces in the corridor and lifted a torch out of its wrought iron bracket. “Arthur once showed me this route. It’s much quicker and takes us straight to the entrance of the great cave, the dragon’s lair.”


“My lady, I don’t understand…you’d dare practicing sorcery…right here at Camelot under Arthur’s nose?” Gaius squeaked, mindful of the torch, it being within dangerous proximity of his long grey hair.


“Arthur’s nose is leagues away, probably stuck knee-deep in whatever mess his royal pig-headedness has landed him in. Besides, I have a feeling he won’t object to the type of sorcery we’ll be employing here today!”


The trained physician in Gaius shook his head at the thought of noses with knees, while Geoffrey, his fingers still trying to unclog plaster dust from his ears, finally caught up with them. “Is this wise, my lady? Shouldn’t we wait for King Arthur’s return?”


The queen flung Uther’s tapestry over Geoffrey’s head, pulled open the secret door and pointed resolutely down a stair case, before plunging into the silent darkness that lay beyond the door. “Gentlemen, you swore allegiance to Camelot, not just to the man sitting on the throne. At this moment in time, I represent the king. So quit moaning!”


Gaius sighed deeply, reluctantly following his queen down into the citadel’s bowels. Hueil and Sir Edward cluttered down the spiralling steps after them, each clearly dubious what this new scheme might possibly achieve in the coming battle. Geoffrey of Monmouth disentangled his head from the tapestry and trotted down the stairs, still muttering they should wait for Arthur to arrive.


When they reached the bottom of the stair case, Gaius had to rest. He held on to the damp wall beside him and puffed. “My lady, I fear on this occasion Geoffrey may be right. I cannot see what we could possibly do that Sir Edward and his knights haven’t already done in defence of the citadel?”


Gwen turned and pulled a face, the flickering light adding two little horns to her shadow’s hair, as she faced her old friend. “Since Arthur has put me in charge of the citadel…you can jolly well watch me defend his realm as I see fit!”


“But my lady, if Arthur finds out we’ve used magic to defend his realm –“


“Gaius, none of this would have happened, if Arthur had stayed at home with me and not set out on yet another ill-advised quest. You’re a physician! Find a cure for his pig-headedness and leave me to worry about the sorcery!”


Shivering in the icy cold tunnel, Gaius snatched the tapestry from Geoffrey and wrapped it around his shoulders. “How exactly, with your Majesty’s gracious permission, should I cure Arthur of his wanderlust and you of your eternal fear for his safety without the use of sorcery? That boy was born with ants in his breeches and nothing but jousting on his mind. He’ll never be a stay-at-home husband and well you know it. Now, what about that dragon-beastie you want us to conjure up? Isn’t there something in Aurelius’ dragon book…I seem to recall a chapter on magical tincture?”


“Aurelius’ tinctures!” Gwen snorted and headed back into the darkness with a grim expression on her face. “You won’t conjure up a fully grown dragon with tincture of honey and lemon balm…but you never know…it might cure the beastie’s chesty cough before Leofwine gets around to carving out its heart!”


Her fingers gliding along the damp and moss-covered wall on her left, Gwen plunged into the gloom, raising her torch with her right hand to guide her party. The long tunnel ahead of them was lit up by just one wall sconce every twenty yards and sloped downwards, heading to the very bowels of the castle. Gaius had trouble keeping up with the lithe young queen. Above them, the bombardment never ceased, explosions and screams followed their descent, the stench of burning flesh already pervaded the citadel and spurned Gwen on to hurry even more. Hueil easily overtook Gaius with his long strides and fell in beside the queen, urging her to explain her plan, while her aged fellow conspirators tramped reluctantly behind them, trying to keep up.


They finally reached a small, cave-like chamber, where they came to a halt at the outer dungeon gates. Gaius caught his breath and peered through the lattice work, where a heavily studded oak door led into the inner most secrets of the citadel.


“How are we going to conjure up a dragon? I haven’t enough puff left in my lungs to conjure up a squirrel…erm…I mean if I did have magic…which I don’t, Your Majesty!” Sir Edward cried in a loud voice, causing everyone to jump out of their skin. He leant against the roughly hewn stone work lining the chamber and mopped his brow. “Has one of you any practical experience in such matters?”


“It’s no use looking at me, there are no more spell books left in my library; Uther burned the lot.” Geoffrey panted. He rattled the bars of the outer dungeon gates, his breath finally catching up with his lungs.


“Does anyone else hear this ringing noise?” Sir Edward asked nervously, his head cocked to one side like a bird’s. “I fear there must be sorcery at play. All I can hear is a strange ringing.” He clapped his hands to his ears and frowned.


Hueil lifted the old knight’s hands and pronounced his words slowly and with care. “There was an explosion, my good knight…sulphur Gaius said, I believe. It’s highly flammable and doesn’t agree with the other fragrant ingredients of your physician’s chamber. Help us stir the queen’s pet dragon into action, Sir Edward; the ringing in your ears will soon subside.”


Hueil flashed a smile at the queen, when Sir Edward’s enlightened face showed them he had at last regained his wits. Sir Edward nodded enthusiastically. “A pet dragon…yes, I understand,” he cried, pointing to the dungeon’s doors. “I’d love to see Leofwine’s face when he finds out!”


Gaius scratched his head. “Have you all gone mad?”


Gwen giggled and unlocked the gates with a huge key from the set dangling off the embroidered belt gathering her gown at her waist. She tripped lightly through the gates, the others following her less lightly, and pushed open the studded doors. Bright lights flooded the small cave-like entrance, causing everyone to squint. The clamour of many voices drifted up from the innards of the citadel and when Gaius sidled pasts the queen to cast an enquiring look down yet another set of stairs, he noted a long line of servants hurrying along the tunnels below, each servant laden with household furniture, a stream of ants on their way to a gigantic nest.


Gaius’ eyes widened. “That’s your cunning plan? We’re moving into the dungeons! I don’t think that’s going to save our skins for very long. It won’t take Leofwine long to discover us, you know.”


“But I want him to find us!” Gwen turned to him, a wide grin spreading across her face. “Leofwine wants a dragon queen’s heart, so he shall have one. He’ll have to cut it out first, though! Let Leofwine show us that he’s the mighty warrior he claims to be…a dragon slayer and worthy King of Camelot!” She raised her hands playfully and turned them into claws. “I’ll give him a fire-breathing, smoke-spewing beastie, a gigantic scaly worm that’s lurking in the tunnels just waiting to do battle. Grrrrrrrr. May the smoke from his fiery nostrils rise to the heavens like a beacon and bring my Arthur home!”


Hueil slapped his forehead and burst out laughing. “Why, of course, that’s brilliant!”


Gaius looked bewildered from his queen to his enemy’s servant. “This…erm…scaly worm…if it’s not going to live long…does it really need all this furniture for its comforts? I mean, if it’s all the same to you, but that was my favourite arm chair I just saw Emma carrying into the cave.”


Gwen’s silvery laugh rang through the corridors and bounced off the cave’s domed ceiling. “Show me the Great Dragon’s broken chain, Gaius, and I promise to explain. The poisoned arrow must still be addling your brain.”


“I thought the arrow hit his chest,” Geoffrey muttered, shaking his head as they walked down the steep stairs to join the throng of huntsmen, beaters, servants and maids, who streamed into the great cave that had been the Great Dragon’s prison for more than twenty years.


In the centre, just under a natural sky light hundreds of feet above their heads, the servants had erected a huge pile of every flammable thing Camelot could spare. The conspirators found the severed end of the enormous chain that had once held the Great Dragon Kilgharrah prisoner and with the help of a couple of servants and with much huffing and puffing, Sir Edward and Hueil finally heaved the massive chain into position; it now led from the darkest part of the cave to the centre, where a rather oddly shaped pile of furniture grew with every new arrival of servants.


Gwen watched the men carry the enormous instrument of Kilgharrah’s imprisonment. She turned to Sir Edward. “Look, over there! How generous of our old friend the Great Dragon. He’s left us a souvenir of his time at Camelot. Gather the scales together and scatter them in the tunnels on the other side of the cave. Take a scouting party with you. When Leofwine’s warriors enter the tunnels, they’ll find a dragon’s heartbeat that’s far fiercer than anything the sorcerer king has ever dreamt possible!”


“And if Arthur enters the tunnels first?”


“Sir Edward, we must make sure it’s Leofwine who enters first! Any ideas?”


“Leave it to us, my lady. I think I’ve got an idea how to lure him and his men into the tunnels.” Hueil grinned, already setting off at a trot with Sir Edward and several guards hot on his heels.


Gwen turned to Geoffrey and Gaius. “Now for a little dragon magic, my friends! Show me what’s in that cauldron of yours, Gaius, and we’ll see if our fire-breather can’t greet King Leofwine with a little snap, sparkle and pop.”


Gaius looked around the enormous cave and spotted several strategically placed fire baskets under the most important air shafts. Finally catching on to Gwen’s brilliant plan, he chuckled and slid the moth-eaten tapestry from his shoulders, handing it to Emma, who had just appeared with an arm full of old cushions by his side. “Here, take this my girl, it’ll be perfect for the dragon’s head.”


Emma looked up anxiously, when another attack from Leofwine’s mangonels made short work of demolishing the turrets of the middle tower. “I’ll get the wall hangings from King Uther’s former chambers, shall I? Those gloomy purple ones with the severed Saxon heads?”


“Splendid idea, Emma! And get the old rascal’s robes whilst you’re at it. He won’t need them anymore and this beastie of ours requires an awful lot of skin!” Gaius nodded encouragingly and strolled over to the ever increasing furniture pile.


Emma handed tapestry and cushions over to a young lad, who scrambled up on the pile and stuffed the cushions into a tangle of chairs, before draping the tapestry over the arrangement.


“Try to make it bulge out a bit more…yes, that’s it…just like a dragon’s brow. Well done!” Gaius encouraged the young squire. The boy flashed a shy smile at the old physician, before starting to drape blankets and sheets over a long line of upturned armchairs that sat on top of a pile of tables. The furniture-beastie wobbled dangerously, but the lithe young squire sprang from chair to chair with the agility of a squirrel without causing the pile to collapse.


Gwen watched the creation of her very own dragon with pride. Every available servant, guard, hunter and squire had answered her call and was determined to defend Camelot. The royal guards and knights had taken up their positions by the cave’s various entrances, the kitchen servants were manning the fire baskets and Gaius skipped between all of them, handing out small leather pouches containing plenty of snap, crackle and pop to greet their unwelcome guests.


“Arthur has truly created a realm worth dying for. I wonder if Leofwine’s men feel quite the same about their’s,” she muttered absentmindedly, when an exhausted messenger arrived and handed her a small piece of parchment. The man collapsed at her feet and had to be carried off.


She unfolded the blood-stained, crumpled message and gasped. “It’s from Arthur! He’s finally coming home…and he’s not alone!”


Before she had time to hug Gaius, who had hurried over to her, Hueil returned, one of his cheeks was bleeding and an arrow protruded from his right shoulder. He sunk to his knees before the queen. “Sir Edward and his men are luring Leofwine’s men into the tunnels. They’ll be here any moment. Prepare the beast, my lady, or all is lost!”


“Gaius, help Hueil! Geoffrey, now would be a good time to start lighting the fires!” Gwen stopped a passing knight and drew his sword. “For Camelot!”


“For Camelot!” Every man, woman and child in the cave responded to the queen’s rallying cry, but their voices were drowned by the roar approaching from the tunnels; the onslaught of enemy shouts and taunts was accompanied by trumpet fanfares and drums and the unmistakable sound of clashing swords.




English: Statue of King Arthur, Hofkirche, Inn...

English: Statue of King Arthur, Hofkirche, Innsbruck, designed by Albrecht Dürer and cast by Peter Vischer the Elder, 1520s. This statue is old enough so that it is not covered by any copyright. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


/to be continued…before the end of this year!


The Kindness of Bradley James

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

When you love someone, set them free – or words to that effect, according to a song by Sting. More to the point, when you love somebody, you want to keep them safe, even if that means sacrificing yourself. It is our most “human” quality, the thing that truly sets us apart from other animals. Hyenas may laugh and chimps may chuckle, but they do not volunteer in a life-or-death crisis to sacrifice themselves for the greater good, so their family and friends can live.

Speculation is rife on Twitter and Facebook how the final Merlin series is going to end – bearing in mind the producers never bothered showing us Camelot’s glory days nor Albion coming to pass and that the show was supposed to be a “before they were famous snap shot”, it is rather silly they want to show us what happens at Arthur’s final battle – this was never supposed to be part of the show according to many interviews with Capps and Murphy.

Colin Morgan said in a recent BBC interview, he was pleased as well as shocked, when he read the script for the final two episodes; he believes fans will be pleased with how the show ends. So far I am rather miffed about everything’s that’s gone on, so “pleased” is rather an optimistic term to use, young Master Colin.

piebald horseThanks to the kindness of Bradley James, who finally came clean, it was revealed the show’s coming to an end because King Arthur himself could no longer be bothered with it. I suspect this was true for all four young actors, who must have been fed up to the back teeth when they saw the first half of season 5 scripts and realised that once again the show’s producers had ignored everyone’s criticism and were carrying on as before.

How then would this writer end the BBC’s hit series Merlin, if she were allowed to write a script?

1. If Merlin can transform into an old man or old crone, he is also able to transform into another young man, far less draining than opting for an old person! Remember he swore he’d die for his king, should this be necessary? This is his chance!

When Arthur’s besieged on all sides in a hopeless war and there’s no other way out, the logical conclusion is for Merlin to open the portals to Avalon and allow Arthur to pass through into eternal safety with the proviso Arthur can return when Albion needs him most. This will be the magic reveal, as Arthur will never see Merlin again, so neither of them will have to deal with the consequences of the discovery.

Arthur won’t want to go willingly, so his faithful servant will use some trickery. Merlin will ask the lady of the lake (Freya) for help, as she promised him. He gives Excalibur into Freya’s safekeeping for Arthur’s eventual use, when the once and future king returns to the world of men.

golden dragon head with fire2. Merlin then transforms into Arthur and “allows” Mordred to wound him mortally. Mordred believes he’s in a position to seize the throne for the greater good of Camelot and wants to re-introduce sorcery (banning only the practice of evil magic); he has already secretly proposed this to the rulers of the other kingdoms.

When mad Morgana finds out, she’s furious and she falls out with Mordred; he taunts her she won’t be getting the throne after all and when she gets that murderous look in her eye, Mordred knocks her out during battle, wounding her fatally.

For Mordred has been playing the long game and always planned to ingratiate himself into Camelot’s throne room, but when his plans goes wrong and his true motives are discovered by Merlin/Arthur, he has no choice but to align with Morgana to fulfil his dream. He wants the same thing as Merlin, but goes about it in the wrong way, because he is rather fond of power, as we saw when he was still a child and killed a large number of men with his scream.

3. Merlin, adopting the guise of Emrys with his last strength, finishes off a dying Morgana in a final showdown, when she mocks him over the bloodied remains of Camelot’s knights on the battlefield.

4. With a true-to-his-word Mordred as temporary regent of Camelot and with Gwen as rightful queen by his side, the five kingdoms will unite to prevent further bloodshed and Albion is finally created. Uther’s 20 year reign of terror has cast such a long and dark shadow over Camelot and the five kingdoms that, no matter how good Arthur’s intentions were, no Pendragon would ever have succeeded in remaining on the throne of a united Albion.

h78 fighting knightsWith the removal of the Pendragon blood line, Albion is created…however, Gwen is pregnant and her son Arthur will eventually rule…prolonging the Arthurian legend for ever.

5. If I recall rightly, the great Dragon Kilgharrah never actually said that our Arthur had to be around/alive to rule Albion, he just said that with Merlin’s help Arthur would bring it about.

And that’s my potted version of the final two episodes as I would write them.

Oh, I almost forgot: Gaius will get his well-deserved retirement in medieval Bournemouth, where he opens an olde tea shoppe with Camelot’s cook, but she must promise never to bake her pies or try to tempt people with her dumplings again or Gaius will use what little of his magic remains and turn her into a warty scullery maid at a local burger bar.

golden dragon flying into sunsetAithusa’s dragon breath keeps the hearth fires glowing. When Aithusa gets too big for the shoppe, they all retire to Tintagel, where they meet up with Kilgharrah, and together they start a thriving clotted cream and scones business with deliveries by air made all over Cornwall.

As for King Arthur in Avalon, he finally finds a sexy blonde girl-elf he really fancies and they have zillions of changeling kids, who eventually escape Avalon and wreak havoc on Camelot in a good but mischievous way.

Ep. 9 Review & Merlin’s Liars, Liars, Pants on Fire Press Day


Ep. 9 “With all my Heart” (contains spoilers)



From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

Producers Capps & Murphy must have insisted once again on playing to a “slapstick audience”, as actor Bradley James (Arthur) referred to it in a recent BBC radio interview.



With a final international press day over for the Merlin cast, many of their fans feel betrayed that the actors have suddenly developed collective amnesia about all the promises made for a sixth series and Merlin movies they talked about until just a few months ago – now they all claim it was only ever going to be five series and NO movies at all were ever in the pipeline for them.



It had been “political” Bradley James said in interviews: nobody should find out before 26th November the actors had decided months ago they would not carry on.



Liars, liars, pants on fire, is all one can say to BBC, Shine Ltd and yes, the acting team, who have gone down in my esteem thanks to these manipulations and outright lies.



English: Actor Colin Morgan after the premiere...

So, “with all my heart” I’d like to state that I detest being  manipulated into buying “the last ever Merlin series on DVD box set in the rush towards Christmas”, thank you very much.



Frankly, after watching episode 9, without doubt the worst Merlin episode ever made, I’m now relieved they’re not carrying on with movies and more TV. Nil point for this cheap and awful Panto episode, where Colin Morgan and Bradley James are practically phoning in their performances and everyone else is finding it hard to keep a straight face.



The episode never reaches the emotional climax it should do, given Arthur’s fighting for the life of his beloved wife Gwen and Merlin manages to obtain the king’s acceptance that not all magic is bad.



For every time a scene arrives requiring dialogue & action that engages us on a deeper level, Merlin’s either dressed up as a man in drag (nooooooo, even Colin Morgan’s exceptional acting skills cannot make him move and talk like a woman let alone look like one!) or the cast are asked to perform slapstick comedy with bread rolls or Gwen’s being carted around like a sack of potatoes, making an absolute mockery of everything that went on before and the threat she poses to Camelot.



This is playing to an audience of 5-year-olds and is hardly the “darker, more grown-up” show we were promised over and over again by Capps & Murphy, and yes, by every actor on the show.



The scene by the “cauldron”, which turns out to be a loch or lake in the mountains, is cheapened and made ridiculous by Colin Morgan in drag. The lame “glowy light” effect surrounding Gwen, when she’s transformed into her old loving self, ruined the entire emotional build up, such as it was.



SDCC 2010: Merlin

SDCC 2010: Merlin (Photo credit: shine_blitz_on)

Real onscreen magic comes not from cheap CGI trickery, but from using imagination, originality and making the most of the charisma and skills the actors bring to the show. Judging by episode 9, Uther has at last fulfilled his dearest wish: both Camelot and our TV screens are entirely devoid of magic and sorcery!



Full marks go to young Alexander Vlahos for his multi-layered performance as Mordred, the only highlight in this dismal episode. Morgana (Katie McGrath) has accepted her role as evil panto-queen rather than insisting her considerable acting talents be allowed to shine. Shame on you, Shine Ltd, for spoiling our last Merlin season with such poor fare and robbing us of the magic it could and should have been!



Merlin prancing around in a dress performing the lamest CGI magic on record is hardly going to convince critics to bestow a BAFTA on the show. Please stick to the day job Colin; you’re hopeless as a woman!



What would have happened if ITV’s Downton Abbey’s actors had never agreed to be part of the show – would a different set of actors have made any difference to the critical acclaim and commercial success of the show? Nope, not one bit. Why?



Because Julian Fellow’s scripts are excellent and his overall story arc is always extremely well researched and spot on; we get a consistent story and character progression for every member of cast. It may be more subtle in the case of say the butler or housekeeper for example, but it is there nonetheless, the moving with the times and circumstances, the acceptance of loss, of change and modernity, of growing up and finding one’s place in the world, of social upheaval and barriers being broken.



Don’t get me wrong, I love Downton Abbey and hugely enjoy the current cast…but they are interchangeable with other actors (Dame Maggie for Dame Judy for example) and having a different set of actors would make no difference to the success of the show.



Both Downton Abbey and Merlin are family viewing, prime time shows, appealing to a wide range of people of all ages and gender. But Downton Abbey wins all the prizes…why? Is it because it’s not a fantasy show? Nope, not at all. Dr Who and Buffy the Vampire Slayer fall broadly into the fantasy genre, yet both shows can boast a plethora of prizes. These are shows where the writing’s great and the producers know what they are doing.



Highclere Castle

Highclere Castle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Incidentally, the setting of “Downton” (Highclere Castle) is as integral to the show as Pierrefonds Castle is to Merlin…BUT –



the BBC’s Merlin would never have worked without the current set of actors. The show became successful without ever receiving any critical acclaim simply because of the fine ensemble acting the handsome and mainly youthful cast provided and, more to the point, the sensational acting talent of Colin Morgan – we fell in love with this young boy who carried such a responsibility, both as the character Merlin and as an unknown young actor, on whose shoulders the weight of the show’s fate and success rested. It’s therefore particularly hard to accept that the actors cheerfully told a load of porkies with regard to carrying on with the show and the possibility of movies.



Back to ep. 9: Where was the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking impact on Arthur, after discovering the love of his life is a traitor and tried to murder him? We are not shown this, just a brief scene at the breakfast table where a monosyllabic Arthur plays with his food rather than talk to his murderous queen. We are not shown either how on earth Merlin managed to persuade the king in the first place to spy on his wife and entertain the notion she might be the traitor Camelot’s knights have been hunting for.



As soon as a little in-depth analysis of the emotional and psychological impact of events or the motivation for a character’s actions are required – and therefore quality dialogue and subtlety – the show’s writers and producers are like fish out of water and cannot deliver; let’s have some slapstick comedy instead, why don’t we?



Critical acclaim would have made all the difference to the acting ensemble and to us…I have no doubt the series would have continued, had a few BAFTAs littered their way.



“With all my Heart” is a dismal episode and I for one could have done without the horrible image of Colin Morgan in drag, even if we are entering the Panto season!

Don’t worry Merlinians, I shan’t bother writing any more reviews – this final series is just too disappointing to bother with.



Merlin Ep. 8 Review & A Call to Arms

English: The Lamentation of King Arthur

Merlin Ep 8 Review and A Call to Arms

(Fairly spoiler free…except…)

Episode 8, titled “The Hollow Queen”, is one of those filler episodes that do not advance the story arc one bit and do little to tie up loose ends. It’s enjoyable enough, I guess, but bears the usual hallmarks of muddle-headed writing, I’m afraid.

Oddly enough, the title might as well have been “Hollow Promises”, since we were told at the outset of series 5 the story would progress by leaps and bounds, that Merlin would finally take centre stage – always bearing in mind the show’s supposed to be about him…

The knights were also meant to see more action independent of Arthur and Camelot, but as you might have guessed, once again Capps and Murphy, the exec producers and creators of the show, stuck to their old formula of one main character being poisoned and then Merlin, with the minimum amount of magic and CGI production cost, saves Arthur’s life once more.

King Arthur, who is supposed to shine as a statesman in this episode, is suddenly thrown back in time to series one, episode 1, where he acts just like an infantile bully boy. In ep. 8 we see him bawling for Merlin at every occasion – it seems the king is incapable of putting on his own shirt and breeches, let alone find his own comb without help.

When it turns out Merlin’s not available, Gaius must come to rescue. Next time, when Gaius is not available, we see a playful king very much “in lurve” who is being dressed by his wife, a mummy’s boy, pampered and cosseted. Hmm…Murphy and Capps have never excelled at writing dialogue, therefore expressing love and intimacy between a married couple couldn’t be done in a more “statesman-like” fashion but had to resort once more to slap-stick comedy. I guess it saved a bit of money, since the producers didn’t have to pay jobbing writers for a better scene with dialogue.

Merlin, who is probably by now regarded as the most slow-witted warlock in history by his medieval contemporaries, falls for yet another Morgana trap; as a consequence, he gets himself poisoned, then rescued by his temporary sidekick and then Merlin runs like a weasel to save Arthur once more at the end.

Why oh why can’t these wretched writers keep their promises – or stick to the letter of the advertisement, namely a show about a WARLOCK – and give us a Merlin-stand-alone adventure, where young Merlin can show he’s heroic, resourceful and wise beyond his years without any Camelot related shenanigans? Simples, as the little TV-meerkat would say.

Capps and Murphy cannot deviate from a winning formula, because they lack the necessary vision to produce a show about the supposedly wisest and most powerful sorcerers of all time and they clearly cannot stick to their promise of truly multi-stranded stories either.

Why or why can Arthur never be shown GOOD MAGIC in an episode? Elementary, my dear Watson (to misquote Mr S. Holmes), because doing so would introduce some REAL conflict and produce a thought-provoking conundrum into the show.

I must say, perhaps the best part of the entire episode comes at the very end, when Merlin stands high up on a gallery above the stunningly beautiful throne room and looks down on King and Camelot…I couldn’t help but feel that he had finally assumed the place and position owed to him at court and already granted to him in our Merlinian hearts.

Castle Pierrefonds, as always one of my favourite characters in the show, shines and sparkles with the corridors, chapel and throne room taking on partly imposing, partly sinister roles. Unfortunately, the writers forget the citadel is more heavily guarded this time round, not just by Camelot’s own armoured division of knights, but also by the visiting king Sarrum and his warriors. Despite this increased protection detail, plucky Queen Gwen not only sneaks out on foot one night to hide a key for Morgana, no – she RIDES OUT ON A WHITE HORSE to meet up with the arch-villainess. Very inconspicuous. Frankly, Camelot’s guards should all be given 125 lashes, methinks. A bunch of sleepy OAPs could do better than that.

Queen Gwen rather enjoys her gorgeous young husband’s wandering hands in this episode, but still wants to form an alliance with old and balding King Sarrum. Is this credible, fangirls? Nope! Not even J K Rowling’s Confundus Curse would be capable of that!

Please Merlin-writers, no amount of sorcery would cause any red-blooded, young heterosexual woman to throw in her lot with Mr Blobby-Sarrum (no offence, Mr John Shrapnel, sir), if lusty King Arthur’s making himself available as a plaything. This really stretches credibility to breaking point for women around the globe.

“The Hollow Queen” was incidentally the first episode where we see young Arthur showing any kind of sexual attraction to his wife – must be the stress of the Sarrum arriving, usually Arthur avoids meeting his wee Gwennie in the bedchamber by taking to a quest elsewhere. Is this Capps and Murphy responding to criticism about the lack of bedchamber action between the royal couple, when there’s been so much bromantic hands-on banter between Merlin and his king?

As a Queen in medieval times, Gwen would obviously be on the way to the executioner’s chamber by now…she has failed to produce an heir after three years of marriage. Would this not have been a credible reason for Sarrum to believe in her treachery rather than him falling for a few smiles and eye-lash flutterings of Gwen? Not according to the writers of the show, who allow a ruthless and cunning King Sarrum to fall for the charms of the first serving-wench-cum-queen that crosses his path.

A Call to Arms

Around the world Merlinians are mourning the BBC’s announcement that their favourite show will end after series 5. On Facebook we are being fobbed off with nonsense about three films “which would inevitably be a reboot of the show”, according to Messrs Murphy and Capps.

Trouble is, we’ve been fed this line for several months now…and this kind of talk started way back when the actors were still referring to the possibility of season 6 and fans were demanding the hit show to continue…only for all of us to be ignored. By the time any movie script would be ready, the current ensemble of fine young and older actors would have been snapped up by Hollywood or be engaged in long running BBC/ITV sagas of a different kind, given how high profile these actors are now.

One has to conclude that Messrs Capps and Murphy or their investors Freemantle are content to deprive the wonderful Merlin actors of their chance to grace our movie screens with the roles they have made their own over the past 5 years; I for one will boycott any Merlin rebooted film or TV show that does not star the original cast. I can only hope all other Merlinians will do the same, ensuring the Merlin movies that do not feature the current ensemble will flop miserably.

The other startling announcement was that Capps and Murphy are leaving Shine Ltd to start their own TV channel. Either this was long in the planning – in which case the uneven production of the so far shown 8 episodes are explained by the exec producers’ lack of attention to a project they are about to leave – or this came about because of a potential falling-out between Shine, the producers and their investors Freemantle. Whatever the underlying reasons for their departure, I feel rather angry at how this has been handled.

In various interviews this year the two exec producers and the actors were still implying there would be room for another series and follow on movies, yet now everyone’s suddenly saying, oh no, there were only ever supposed to be five and the movies…well, they are a long way off and may be with different people. Erm…that’s actually quite insulting to all of us who have followed the show, bought the DVDs and therefore brought about the financial success of the production company, Messrs Capps and Murphy, the actors and not least, the BBC.

It’s a sad end to an overall great show – great not because of the uneven storytelling, but because of the exceptionally high production values that have shown us where TV is headed in the future and the outstanding acting from a much-put upon cast consisting of Richard Wilson, Anthony Head, Bradley James, Colin Morgan, Angel Coulby, Katie McGrath, Eoin Macken, Rubert Young, Tom Hopper, Adetomiwa Edun and John Hurt plus all their many wonderful guest stars.

They deserved to have the finest dialogue written for them, but were more often than not let down. The present actors made this show what it is…you may want to remember that Messrs Freemantle, Shine and Co, before hiring a bunch of snotty nosed 14-year-olds to “reboot” the series for the silver screen.

R.I.P. Merlin, Arthur, Gaius, Gwen, Morgana, the knights of Camelot, Aithusa and Kilgharrah! You will be greatly missed.

Ep 4 Review and Merlin Fan Fiction Part 17

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

Ep. 4 Review (“Another’s Sorrow”), contains some spoilers


The trouble with this episode is that it seems like the “calm before the storm”, namely a filler episode that is to cover the time elapsing between the amazing turn of events in episode 3 and what is to come in episode 5 (“The Desir, which was broadcast last night and which I’ve yet to see).

According to SFX Magazine’s review “The Desir” deserves a 5 star rating and is a truly great episode that catapults the story forward in leaps and bounds. Episode 4 on the other hand would only get a 2-star rating from me.

Last week’s episode 4 exposed yet again that Arthur’s Bane, as we discovered in the first two episodes, is really Arthur himself. Headstrong and often arrogant, he may profess that “listening to advice is a sign of strength not weakness” (Arthur arguing with dead King Uther, his ghostly dad, in ep. 3) but Arthur rarely acts upon his own advice. In this episode we see him ride to his near doom because he once again ignores the advice Merlin and Gwen give him.

Worse, three years into his marriage with Gwen, he has not produced an heir to secure his throne and Camelot’s survival. There are many marriages that are more platonic than passionate in real life – and Arthur’s seems to be one of those. Gwen is his “female knight”, a helpmate and friend, but someone who stirs clearly no passions in the royal breast. A chaste kiss on the forehead is all she gets – and Gwen herself is not the slightest bit jealous, when utterly gorgeous Princess Mithian rides into Camelot to ask Arthur’s help in freeing her father, after vicious King Odin has devastated the realm of Mithian’s father. Naturally, this is a trap cooked up by the increasingly mad, bad and dangerous Morgana, who unaccountably is suddenly sporting red hair instead of her usual black.

The complete lack of sexual attraction between Arthur and his queen (and if the commentaries on earlier DVDs are anything to go by, the apparent lack of attraction and even liking between Bradley James and his co-star Angel Coulby) is really beginning to get on my nerves. While the bromance between Merlin and Arthur has been sweet and often hilariously funny, it is time to put it aside to let the man and husband Arthur emerge.

The series’ producers clearly have an obsession with making the show entirely sex-free – there aren’t any children at Camelot at all, never mind a royal heir. The closest we got to the subject of procreation was a blue dragon’s egg. Given that this fifth series is supposed to be darker and more grown up, are we to understand that Arthur’s Bane is not just his stubborn refusal to accept magic in his realm but marital relations? Does this childless court stem from the fact that the king’s more drawn to his knights and Merlin than to his queen, a woman for whom he was prepared to give up his kingdom in earlier episodes?

This show may have started out as a kids’ show, but as Russell T Davies showed us with Dr Who and the Sarah Jane Smith adventures, it is possible to produce a kids’ TV show that includes sexiness and romance without ever overstepping the bounds of what is acceptable viewing for kids; doing so makes for much more rounded, real characters who truly stay with us, because they touch our hearts.

Rose Tyler

Who could ever forget Rose Tyler’s and the Doctor’s heartbreak when they were trapped in different dimensions, destined never to meet again? Or the first episode when the Doctor takes Rose’s hand and tells her to “run”…and then they take off like two kids chased by a shop owner who’s caught them pinching sweets, when they’re really being faced with a massive explosion that could wipe out half of Oxford Street?

Do we therefore believe a queen largely neglected by her quest-obsessed husband would not be turning green with jealousy at the sight of Princess Mithian? Nope, we cannot believe it for a moment and it spoiled the episode for me. Gwen, who is pretty but not exceptional, should not be foaming at the mouth when a beauty Arthur was previously engaged to – no matter how briefly – turns up fluttering her eyelashes, being all “vulnerable and helpless”? Naaaaaah…frankly, it goes against all that is feminine and illogical! We love a good cat-fight, sisters, and here we are deprived of it.

Worse to come: Mithian, who was in a previous series portrayed as a spirited young woman who can hold her own has now been turned into the typically useless, frail damsel in distress. The Princess Mithian from series 4 would have put the silver comb with its dagger-like handle to a very different use, that’s for sure, giving Morgana a headache she’d not be so quick to get over – even if she’s apparently able to heal overnight from the stab in the back dealt to her by Mordred in ep. 2. Actually, this was another incredible turn of events that leaves this viewer gasping “do the show’s writers ever bother reading each other’s scripts?”

It is a dissatisfying episode that also shows up another great flaw: we are to believe that Arthur’s knights would do anything for him and Camelot – and after assembling a fine cast of delicious young men with biceps the size of Wales, who have shown their acting talent on other shows, the producers then shamefully underuse them and hardly ever permit them to engage in dialogue or do more than wield the occasional sword. Why on earth did they assemble such a large regular cast, when this cast is just used like props and extras? We were promised that this season would see multi-stranded stories in which the knights go off and have their own adventures – so far this has not really come true, even if the opening episode of season 5 showed Gwain leading some men through the snow.

According to several tweets, the BBC has cancelled the show and there is not going to be another series. Eoin Macken, who plays Gwain, has apparently accepted a role in a USA pilot film and has tweeted to a fan that this will be the end of Gwain as far as the BBC’s Merlin is concerned. Who could blame the young actors for wanting to move on, when the show so overlooks their talents?

It seems inconceivable that such a successful and lucrative venture should be cancelled, but then again, the BBC, who we finance with our licence fees, has a long history of making dumb and utterly incomprehensible decisions…like showering presenter Jonathan Ross with money and air time, when he was still working for them, while making news reporters redundant and bombarding us with nothing but cheap reality shows…not to mention the BBC’s current woes over child abuse claims relating to presenter J Saville and others connected with the BBC over a period of 40 years.

A lot may be rotten in the realm of unhinged King Odin, even at the heart of Camelot itself thanks to Arthur’s Bane, but no realm is more in need of magical transformation at present than the BBC itself.

Ep. 4 “Another’s Sorrow” is an unconvincing episode in every respect. From Morgana’s ridiculous “disguise” that a three-year-old would recognise as such but which apparently fools everyone, including Merlin, at Camelot to the silly premise that Arthur would ride out to help a princess for whom he clearly couldn’t care less. A king who has been portrayed throughout 4 years as being astute when it comes to choosing his knights (with the exception of Mordred) would surely see through such a thinly disguised entrapment as the one we were shown last week.

I’m looking nonetheless forward to watching ep. 5 “The Desir”, which according to Twitterings, is a stunner in line with ep. 3.

My very own take on Merlin’s world is here for those of you who like multi-stranded stories: –

The honeymoon is over – Let the Questing Begin (Part 17)

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwain), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther.


A meadow in Deira, Wulfric’s lands…


When Unding and his men returned a couple of hours later, Eleanor had just fallen into an uneasy sleep. With the help of Merlin’s cold compresses the swelling of her face was less pronounced now, but Merlin feared the wound left in her mind would take far longer to heal. Urien seemed to have undergone a change of personality; he had become a solicitous brother and seemed no longer the arrogant princeling they had known him to be. Dragonara was pacing the camp restlessly and kept looking up to the stars at regular intervals.

They had settled on a plan to take lady Marigold and Eliffer’s bodies to the old burial grounds near Osthryth’s Fort instead of the ones closer to Castle Deira. That way they could leave almost at once, as soon as the company was fully assembled. Wulfric had caused a certain amount of unpleasantness but in the end he’d had no choice, as both Yolanda and Ethelgunda had ridden out with Unding, now they were free to leave Castle Deira after the spell had been broken. They had left Wulfric in this ruined great hall, alone on his throne, without as much as a man servant to cook his breakfast. Merlin doubted the two women or any of the men would ever return to a lord who had so cruelly betrayed his daughters’ affection and who had ruined his men’s lives into the bargain. Twenty years was far more loyalty and service than any overlord could claim under the universal laws of knighthood that applied to the five kingdoms.

It was pitch-dark when they arrived at the burial grounds. In the distance they could hear an owl hoot with its mate calling out a reply at regular intervals. In an ancient sacred grove by the river the riders deposited the bodies of Marigold and Eliffer, using the cart as a funeral pyre. The stars lit up the sky just enough for Merlin to take in the beauty of the place, the gentle slope of the river banks, the swaying branches of the weeping willow trees against the backdrop of the shimmering river, the scent of wild flowers and the motionless silhouette of a night heron stalking his prey in the reed bed on the opposite bank of the river. Arthur cautioned the men to make haste, undoubtedly driven by his impatience to set off for Camelot, but Dragonara asked for his indulgence as she wanted to hold vigil for the dead for a while. Arthur reluctantly agreed, admitting that everyone needed more rest to face what might well be a day of battle upon the morrow. They were to leave an hour after midnight.

Merlin watched Dragonara closely, while everyone else went to sleep. She appeared restless, unable to sit or stand still. Believing herself unobserved, she finally turned and walked over to the cart; she lifted the boy gently from his pyre and onto her shoulder. With heavy steps she made her way down the slope and had almost reached the water’s edge, when Merlin caught up with her.

“You can’t possibly rip out Eliffer’s heart and give it to Leofwine! Think what a powerful weapon a dragon’s heart will be in the hands of a madman. I don’t quite understand how Eliffer could be a dragon in the first place or how you managed to transform him…if it was you who performed such magic…but I do know, Eleanor would never forgive you…nor do I believe you’d ever forgive yourself.”

“Go away; this does not concern you, dragon lord.”

Merlin gave an involuntary start. “How did you know – “

“I recognise you in the same way I know all my children.” A tear formed in the corner of Dragonara’s eye and rolled down her cheek, when she noticed the look of incomprehension on Merlin’s face. “By your gentle heart, you fool! You and every other child created by dragon magic has a gentle heart and a wise soul. Eliffer was my son; do you really think I’d give my baby’s heart to that monster?”

“But if you’re not going to sacrifice Eliffer…then what are you going to give to Leofwine?”

“What I promised Arthur! A dragon’s heart…one that is glad to be released from the burden of living.”

With Eliffer’s limbs dangling off her shoulder, she entered the river and didn’t stop ploughing through the waves until she was immersed up to her waist. She hoisted the boy carefully off her shoulder and let him slide into the water, where at first he sank but then re-emerged, his slender limbs gently bobbing on the waves.

Merlin stared after her, digesting the full meaning of her words. “It was you who told Leofwine about Kilgharrah in the first place! How else could he possibly know there’s still a living dragon in Camelot! I won’t allow it. If you want Kilgharrah’s heart, you’ve got to kill me first!”

Dragonara snorted. “Old scaly head? I doubt my brother is worth such a sacrifice!”

Merlin followed her to the very edge of the water but shrank back, when the water around Eliffer began to glow and churn. A light sprang up around Dragonara and enveloped her like a cloud that had come down from the very heavens. She seemed illuminated by an inner light that vied with the stars in its intensity. Dragonara dropped into the water next to the boy and allowed the waves to swallow her whole; for a moment she disappeared from Merlin’s view, only to rise from the water like a sea serpent, gigantic, with shimmering wings, their rainbow colours reminding Merlin of a dragonfly; a silver crest ran down the full length of her spine contrasting with the golden shine of her scales. There seemed no end to the expanse of gold that rose up before Merlin; sixty feet or more in height, she towered over him, dwarfing him, her head now turning to fix emerald eyes on his face, her nostrils flaring, bursts of fire and puffs of smoke sailing forth into the night.

“You are…the Great Dragon’s sister? How could you possibly expose him to Leofwine?”

From deep inside her, the dragon’s voice lulled Merlin into a trance…an alluring voice…bewitching…soothing…yet cutting him like a knife.

“Emrys, you are allowing your feelings for Kilgharrah to cloud your judgement. Albion and Arthur…that is the future. With Arthur the old religion will eventually triumph and magical beings will live side by side with children of men…in harmony as they once did…when I was young. Leofwine’s army is already at the citadel. Are you going to sacrifice all you hold dear for one decrepit old reptile?”

Merlin fought hard against the dragon’s beguiling voice. From deep within him he conjured up the dragon lord’s power to respond in the beast’s own language. “You shall not harm him! You will not betray your own kind! I forbid it!”

“How dare you abuse your power? A dragon lord who’s trying to command…ME? It was I who gave the children of men their magic and the gift to speak with dragons. A dragon queen’s magic is more powerful than anything else on earth –“

“I don’t care how powerful you think you are. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HARM KILGHARRAH!” Merlin raised his arm and shook his fist at her. “I forbid it.”

Her snake-like head plunged down and he felt her searing breath before the burst of flames had even left her throat. With his hands held high above his head he warded off the flames and stood his ground, sending the inferno right back to her with a force she had clearly not expected. She hissed as the flames engulfed her and her swishing tail churned up the water until it seemed to boil. When the last flame had evaporated he looked up defiantly, lowering his hands slowly, unsure if he could withstand another outburst like the first; above him Dragonara seemed just as reluctant to engage in a second round of magical contest; she withdrew her fire-breathing nostrils to a safe distance and stared just as defiantly back at the young sorcerer.

“You must find another way, Dragonara. No dragon hearts…nor any other bits of their anatomy. Couldn’t you just go to Leofwine and say…that you’re sorry? You married him…and you betrayed him. Frankly, he does have every reason to be angry with you. He is old and alone…perhaps all this is just his way to show you he still cares.”

To his surprise his words did not provoke another jet of flames but prompted a complete change in her. Looking less like a serpent and more like her old self, Dragonara bent her long neck and lowered her face close to his. Her emerald eyes sparkled and the golden scales on her nose twinkled as she looked deep into his eyes. Merlin was overcome with the desire to touch her, but when he lifted his hand to reach out, she emitted a growl, a sound not unlike an eruption by an otherwise friendly volcano. Merlin realised with a pang that the dragon was laughing at him.

“Spoken like a man, Emrys! Leofwine cares very much to get me back…but not for the reasons your young, romantic heart takes for granted. My Lord never loved me…he simply wanted to produce an heir born of woman…because the son he obtained by magic did not please him. He chose me as his breeding mare…not as his beloved wife and queen. Why should I care about his finer feelings? It’s his pride that is hurt, nothing more! Would you respect Arthur as your lord, if he had treated Gwen like Leofwine dealt with me?”

“No…but I still think you must do right by him, my lady. From what I hear he is fond of Eleanor…forgive me but you don’t seem to care too much for her and she not for you either. Can’t she go back and be at Leofwine’s side? She might have a softening influence over him…and if not, Urien is ready to be her protector.”

The dragon queen inclined her head to one side and eyed him keenly. A smile spread over her scaly face, exposing her long fangs. “You are as wise as you are brave…now I know my children’s future will be safe with you. One day you will have need of dragons to save Albion and Arthur’s reign, but without Eliffer there won’t be a new generation. I’m old…so very old…and Eleanor is not mature enough to carry my burden.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Eleanor is a dragon, too?”

Dragonara shook her head sadly. “No…she’s been such a disappointment…she turned out human; Eliffer her half-brother must carry on my ancient bloodline. When the time comes, you must introduce him to Aithusa.”

Merlin gazed up at her golden features, unable to take it all in. “Aithusa is a girl?” He finally asked breathlessly. “But the egg I rescued was blue!”

Dragonara frowned. “Really, Kilgharrah could have told you at least the basics!” When she saw the expression on Merlin’s face, she relented. “Dragon females can be whatever they choose.” She chuckled and with every intake of breath the soil under Merlin’s feet trembled. “We’re not that different from human women! We like to wear more colourful plumage than the male.”

A smile stole across Merlin’s face and she lowered her head, her long lashes briefly brushing his cheek. He raised his hand and ran his fingers slowly over her crest. “I fear on the subject of women I still have a lot to learn.”

“A little less time spent running after Arthur’s every whim would take care of that, my son!” The dragon’s huge eye winked at him. “Pity, I had rather hoped you’d be a mentor for Eliffer when his time comes to woo his girl. Just as well I have the gift of seeing the future! Aithusa’s first egg will be a new dragon queen. You must take care of her…and see to it that a new generation of dragon lords is born!”

“How do I do that?”

“Really Merlin, it doesn’t take the powers of a warlock to figure that one out! Have you never kissed a serving girl under the mistletoe?”

“Oh…I see what you mean.” Merlin dropped his hand abruptly. “I hate to point out the obvious flaw in your little reptile romance…but Eliffer’s gone…how could he possibly carry on your bloodline?”

Dragonara snorted and a puff of smoke escaped her lips. “You really are the most ignorant dragon lord I’ve seen in over a thousand years. Ingwaz the Fat knew more about dragons than you do…and THAT’s saying something! Come to think of it…he knew more about girls, too.”

“I may be ignorant on the subject of girls and dragons…but a dead Eliffer’s not going to be the father of your grandchild, I know that much!”

Dragonara chuckled. “Then my little party trick will come as a bit of a surprise to you, won’t it, young warlock?”

She lowered her head and breathed gently over the surface of the water, where Eliffer’s body floated on the waves. A golden cloud enveloped the boy and for a moment Merlin thought he saw Eliffer’s eyelids flutter and his lips tremble. Dragonara lifted her head again and inhaled deeply, before exhaling another cloud of shimmering dust that spread over the river, the soil and the dry vegetation that lay flat and exhausted from the day’s heat against the embankment. The grasses turned succulent once more, their stems rising up in a welcome to the moon.

“Dragon queens have the power to restore life and return the dead to the living. Why else do you think Leofwine asked for a heart? He doesn’t want any old dragon’s heart…he wants MY HEART, Merlin! To cut it out and use it to bring back his first wife…with a dragon’s heart Leofwine can bring back all his fallen warriors, raising a gigantic army to wipe out his neighbour’s kingdoms. He can restore his lands to their former glory…what better revenge could he exact against his unfaithful wife…the one who cuckolded him with a lowly court physician? He knows I shan’t let any other dragon suffer for my mistakes.”

“But how did he find out…about you being a dragon queen…your disguise as a human was so perfect?”

The dragon closed her eyes. “Urien…a jealous boy who followed my every move from the moment little Eleanor and I set foot in Segovia. Only once in all those long, lonely years I dared to show my real self to someone I trusted…my beloved Nechtan. Urien must have spied on us…and told his father everything he saw that day. I have no ill will towards the boy, he craves his father’s approval too much and that lead to his error of judgement.”

Merlin whistled. “And now that Eleanor is…hurt…he feels guilty and wants to make up for his betrayal.” Dragonara opened her eyes again and nodded sadly.

Merlin had a thousand questions but they had to wait, for at that moment Eliffer’s arms and legs stopped bobbing along with the waves and began to move on their own accord. Merlin held his breath as the boy opened first one and then another eye. Eliffer’s pale lips gasped for air and within moments he had been revived, standing before Merlin as if nothing had happened. The terrible wound on his chest had closed and the waves had washed the blood from his shirt. The boy stood in the middle of the river, Dragonara’s golden body rising up behind him like the sun at dawn, and he smiled; the water dripped from his face and hair, while he tried to take his first bewildered steps towards the slope of the river bank, where Merlin stood with swimming eyes.

“The boy lives! This is the greatest magic I’ve ever –“

“Merlin, bring me the lady Marigold! Quickly now, Eliffer can help you.” Dragonara’s serpent head shot down so close, the breath from her nostrils threatened to sear off Merlin’s black fringe. Merlin recoiled and hurried to fulfil her wishes, with Eliffer at his heels.

Together they managed to heave Lady Marigold from the cart and dragging her more than carrying her, they finally got her into the water without waking the others in the camp. Dragonara’s voice sank to a gentle whisper, as she bent her head over the floating body and performed another miracle.

Just as Eliffer had done before her, Marigold opened her eyes and blinked at the stars above her with mild astonishment. She followed Eliffer onto the river bank and waited without a word. Dragonara’s serpent body began to shrink, her enormous neck got shorter, her swishing tail ceased wrapping itself around the weeping willow at the edge of the water and the river stopped churning. Within moments, Dragonara was once again what by any one’s standards was not just a very beautiful woman but a rather unusual godmother.

“Earlier…you called me your child…what did you mean by that?” Merlin ventured to say when Dragonara ploughed through the water towards him. “I do have a mother and father…I mean…he’s no longer with us…but I’m human, definitely. I think I’d have noticed if I’d sprouted some scales…although the other day there was that patch of dried skin on my belly that Gaius couldn’t explain -”

“Were you not born with magic, Merlin? Who do you think gave you that precious gift?” She interrupted him impatiently. She had reached the water’s edge and held out her hand to him. “Stop rambling, boy, and help me out of the water.” Dragonara’s exhausted faced frowned at him.

Astonished, he took the offered hand, while trying to digest the fact that she was completely naked. He helped her back on dry land, where she shook herself dry like a dog, a golden glow briefly lighting up her eyes. Instantly, droplets of water rolled off her shimmering body and richly embroidered clothing arranged itself neatly over her curves; her blonde tresses were no longer wet or tangled, but piled up in neat ringlets which now framed her pale face. The glow that had permeated her body gradually disappeared. Merlin couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She raised a quizzical eyebrow and directed her gaze downwards, coughing discretely at the same time. Merlin felt the blood rise to his cheeks, when he realised he was still holding her hand. He immediately released it and Dragonara strode past him and up the river bank to return to the sacred grove.

Merlin busied himself ushering Eliffer and Marigold up the embankment, where Dragonara waited for them beneath the weeping willows.

“The m-m-magic we’re b-b-born with comes from…d-d-dragons?” Merlin finally managed to say, inwardly cursing his burning cheeks, which he blamed entirely on the discovery of Aithusa’s secret and his lack of sleep. “But how…am I a part of you?”

Dragonara ignored his question. “Go and fetch Unding. Eliffer and Marigold have to return to Castle Deira. Never mind Wulfric, he won’t be a problem for much longer. NOW, if you don’t mind, Merlin,” she added, when the young sorcerer planted his feet firmly into the soft soil and crossed his arms in defiance. Dragonara smiled sweetly. “I could always tell Arthur there’s a servant with magic lurking under his roof?”

“I never lurk!” Merlin uncrossed his arms but remained rooted to the spot. “And I’m Arthur’s servant, not yours! Why can’t you get Unding while I take the weight of my feet for a bit?”

By way of a reply she laid her hands on his shoulders and turned him gently, but firmly towards the camp, finally giving him a slap on his rump. “Whatever you do, just do it somewhere else, my little dragon lord. I must talk with Eliffer and Marigold alone.”

A sleepy and at first rather grumpy Unding followed Merlin to the water’s edge, where Marigold threw her arms around him and wept. Bewildered, frightened and finally mollified by her kisses, he agreed to take her and the boy back to Castle Deira.

“Unding, you have nothing to fear. Please look after Eliffer, for his life is precious…as dear to me as Marigold is to you. My great healing powers have restored her to you; now show your gratitude by looking after this boy for me. When all is over, you will rule over Deira and its lands together, as Lady Marigold and Lord Unding. In time, Eliffer will grow up to be a fine man…perhaps a court physician?” She smiled sadly at her son, cupping his face in her hands. “These are good people, Eliffer, and you must obey them. When Eleanor and Urien sit on the throne of Dunadd, it will be time for you to return, but not before.” She embraced first the boy, then Marigold, who couldn’t stop sobbing. “Now GO!”

Unding laid his arm around the boy and frowned. “What about Gawain? He’ll think I abandoned him.”

“Not if you leave him your men to help Arthur. They’ll return to you, never fear.” Dragonara ushered them up the slope. “Go, there’s not much time.”

Merlin and Dragonara watched the three fugitives as they lead their horses quietly out of the camp. By sunrise they would be back at Castle Deira.

Merlin yawned and stretched his tired limbs. “Poor old Unding. He started his day as a troll, then lost the love of his life, now found her again only to face Wulfric’s wrath upon his return. This has been the longest day ever!”

“Never fret about old Wulfric, he’s dead.”

Merlin stared. “Dead? How…when?”

“Died by his own hand shortly after Unding and his men left.”

“How do you know? Female dragon intuition or magic?”

“Neither. Just knowledge of those who believe they are rulers of men. A despot without a people to terrorise…he won’t live down the shame of their desertion. By now he’ll have taken the easy way out, trust me.”

Merlin shrugged his shoulders and turned wearily to the dragon queen. “If Gwen can’t give him a dragon heart Leofwine will attack the citadel before we get there on horseback. You’re a dragon, you could fly there and with Kilgharrah’s help –“

“No, I couldn’t possibly.”

“You must. Gwen is all alone at Camelot! It would break Arthur’s heart, if anything happened to her.”

“Merlin, I cannot do as you ask.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Merlin pulled himself up to his full height. “You made me a dragon lord! I command you to fly to Gwen’s aid…at once. You won’t have to sacrifice yourself. I won’t allow it! I’ll come with you. With two dragons and one sorcerer Leofwine won’t stand a chance –“

He began to summon his dragon lord power and reached out to her, ready to cling to her neck with both hands, should she transform once more, but Dragonara simply lifted her arms and started flapping them as if to take off into the heavens.

“I’m your master! Obey!” Merlin fumed. Dragonara lifted one leg and increased the flapping. Merlin let go off her neck. “Are you making fun of me again?”

“No, Merlin. Restoring life to two people…even miracle makers must rest once in a while. Until then, I shan’t be doing any flying. I’m fresh out of magic.”

Merlin was about to remonstrate with her but she threw an arm around his shoulders and drew him close. “Speaking of miracles, my son…you couldn’t conjure us a cauldron full of rabbit stew for breakfast by any chance? Arthur tells me you’re a very capable cook. At any rate, it can’t be worse than Arthur’s first attempt! I can still feel the bits of fur between my teeth!”

Merlin turned to her with swimming eyes. “Are you asking me to cook the condemned dragon a last meal?”

“No, I’m asking you to feed a famished friend so she can gather strength for the coming battle!”

Merlin beamed and raised his hand to summon his powers. “My best rabbit stew with dumplings coming up!”


…to be continued…

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 15)



Part two of Arthur’s Bane (shown on BBC 1 last Saturday) lived up to my expectations – with the exception of the elf-type creature (Diamuir?) that looked like an alien, had plenty of promise but did not deliver thanks to the writers wasting an opportunity here.

Arthur’s only comment upon seeing the creature was merely “what was that?” – given that he’s a king opposed to all things magical, this writer could see plenty of useful plotline potential…particularly, since the magical creature saved Gwaine’s life…which should have given Arthur plenty of food for thought…along the lines of “not all magic is bad or evil”. Alas, the opportunity was wasted.




Morgana was on good form with the excellent Katie McGrath showing the sorceress’ descent into madness to full effect.

Mordred is no longer being played by the asthonishingly talented Asa Butterfield but by a much older actor – which is puzzling since Mordred was only 11-years-old the last time he met Merlin and Arthur.  All is forgiven though, as Alexander Vlahos is great as the enigmatic would-be assassin and strikes just the right balance between deadly and potentially redeemable villain.




The rebellion of the slaves wasted the talents of the lovely (and once again shirt-less) Tom Hopper and Eoin Macken, both actors were given miniscule lines in favour of much naked flesh and flexing of muscles. Merlin finally reunites with the baby dragon and we get to see snippets of what has actually happened to Morgana in the intervening three years.




Tom Lenk, Emma Caulfield, Alexis Denisof, Alys...

Tom Lenk, Emma Caulfield, Alexis Denisof, Alyson Hannigan, Anthony Stewart Head, Joss Whedon, Michelle Trachtenberg and James Marsters at the Buffy the Vampire Slayer wrap party. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


On the whole, I liked the episode, as it threw up more questions than it gave answers, setting up the rest of the series as it were. The comedy action between Merlin (Colin Morgan) and Arthur (Bradley James) is still as good as ever, but Merlin seems less prepared to put up with his liege’s comments.


Can’t wait for the next episode, which will see the return of one of my favourite screen villains – Anthony Head, who was of course one of the good guys on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where he played buffy’s watcher and friend Giles.




Hope you’ll enjoy reading my take on what might have happened prior to series 5.




The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin! Part 15.




Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.




The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther.







Gaius’ chamber in Camelot…




“Will you stop fussing, girl!” Gaius pushed the Queen’s hand away and sat up laboriously under his own steam. “Hasn’t Her Majesty something a trifle more important to do than ministering to the wounds of an old man…like saving Camelot from that madman Leofwine for example?”




Gwen raised an eyebrow. “Now what could be more important than saving an old friend?” She had tried to administer a compress of herbs and honey to Gaius’ chest, where the arrow had narrowly missed his heart, but her patient and her own maid had intervened. Emma, her new maid, gently but firmly took charge. The old physician’s hands shook slightly as he took the compress from Gwen and pressed it hard his against his wound. He winced but said nothing; instead, he turned to Emma and ordered her to bring him some fresh water and some wine for the Queen. The maid left his chamber reluctantly, turning at the door to glance at the sickbed, her eyes wide and full of fear.




She opened her mouth to speak but for the moment she was too distracted by the flickering light that illuminated the small window on the opposite wall. Fires raged on the forecourt, flames had begun to threaten the machicolations that served archers as launch pads for their missiles and guards as lookout platforms from where to observe the goings on in the enemy’s camp. It wouldn’t be long now before the first attackers breached the walled fortifications. Their war machines were already at the final gates.




Emma started at the sound of a huge rock finding its target. The citadel seemed to tremble from the force of its impact. Leofwine’s new catapults were working to perfection. The maid visibly forced herself not to flee and instead turned her pale face once more towards the patient and his regal physician.




“My lady, he won’t admit it but I’ve dealt with this kind of wound before. If the arrow was poisoned, the infection will spread and he will get weaker by the hour.”




“Then we must stop the poison from spreading, Emma. Fetch me some leaches from the tank over there.”




Gaius inhaled sharply. “You’re not going to set leaches on me now, girl? There’s really no need, I’m fine! Hand me my cloak and I’ll accompany you to the council chambers.” Gaius tried to get up but failed utterly even to raise one leg from his bed.




“You were quite prepared to face Leofwine’s army out on those ramparts, but you cannot brave one little leach?” Gwen snorted. “You’re not a knight, Gaius! It’s perfectly acceptable to show weakness and suffering.” She plumped up the old man’s pillows and eased him gently into a more comfortable position. Emma appeared at her side and handed her a small phial.




Gaius grunted and accepted his fate. “How long do you think we can hold out against Leofwine’s forces?”




“Until Arthur returns! What else can we do?” Gwen recoiled slightly, when Emma dropped the first leach on Gaius’ wound. The women watched in silence as the slimy black creature burrowed its way into Gaius’ flesh. Gwen feared she would wretch, but this sensation was overtaken by something far more distasteful happening around her. A second rock hit a part of the domestic quarters and the shock of the impact brought down a shelf containing some of Giaus’ prized tinctures and ointments with a crash. Glass phials shattered, essential herb oils spilled across the floor, powdered medicines kept in earthenware containers exploded with a bang and precious parchments fluttered to the ground to mingle with blue, green, yellow and pink tinctures. Gaius raised an unsteady fist and cursed Leofwine.




Gwen beamed. “My old friend must be on the mend, if he can use such language! Sit with him, Emma. I must go and hold council. I will send someone to help you clear up this mess.” Gwen snatched Aurelius’ dragon book from Gaius’ bedside table and hurried off, leaving the old man raging against Leofwine’s catapults and Emma’s solicitude.




Gwen hastened through the dark corridors with unseeing eyes. Once or twice she came across a guard looking for more weapons or a knight barking an order at his soldiers, but the citadel’s chambers were all but deserted with the majority of her fellow inmates fighting on the ramparts and in the courtyards outside. She stopped at an arrow slit and peered outside. The forecourt was crawling with knights and guards trying to prevent enemy soldiers from scaling the castle walls. Camelot servants were rushing here and there to strengthen their defences at the gates.




Gwen held her breath: the east gate was still letting in people, a never ending stream of men, women and children, cattle and carts, refugees from the outer villages, were being hurried along and herded into the bowels of the citadel, where they found shelter in the dungeons. In the distance, across the expanse of tents that was her enemy’s encampment, Gwen could see the first signs of dawn…the day when the dragon heart was due to be handed over was already upon her! Her heart began to race; blood seemed to drain from her face, arms and hands, leaving her hot and cold at the same time; she tore herself away and hurried to the council chamber, where a circle of anxious faces turned towards her when the heavy doors fell back into their lock behind her, shutting her in with a brace of advisers, whose counsel would no longer be of any use.




She nodded a brief greeting and sank down on her throne. “Thank you all for assembling so promptly.” When Geoffrey of Monmouth rose to speak, Gwen raised her hand and cut him off. “I know you are anxious to hear our old friend Gaius is doing well…for now. Emma is with him and knows what to do. Geoffrey, I’m in sore need of good news. Has there been word from Arthur?”




Geoffrey shook his head but risked a smile. “No, my lady, but there may have been a sighting of him on the Merthur Road! The source is somewhat dubious, a shepherd from one of the outer villages, but from the way he described the men, we can be hopeful he saw Arthur and his knights.”




Gwen’s hands shot to her mouth; before she could stop herself, an audible sigh of relief had escaped her lips. “My Arthur is coming home!” She tried to compose herself as befitted a lady of her standing but she could not hide the smile lighting up her face or the sparkle brightening her eyes.




“I trust my report qualifies as good news, my lady?” Geoffrey beamed back at his queen. “He will be here by noon at the latest. If we can hold out until then –“




“We shall, Geoffrey, we shall! Knights of Camelot, my trusted advisors, we must strengthen our defences and take the fight to Leofwine, if we can. How are the preparations for our own mangonels coming along? Is there anything our soldiers need that we haven’t thought of, yet?”




Sir Edward de Mangetout got up and cleared his throat. “Erm…no my lady…short of producing a dragon’s heart, we’ve done everything we can to protect the citadel. Leofwine’s catapults have a far wider reach than ours. The gates are holding but Camelot’s west wing has taken rather a battering -”




A scuffle erupted outside the council chamber’s doors; the sound of clashing swords and poll-axes on shields echoed through the long corridors; everyone’s eyes turned towards the two guards protecting the entrance of the council chamber with little more than their lances. Gwen rose quietly and folded her hands.




“It seems we are too late. The enemy is already at our door. This is my fault! You deserved a queen, who could reign like a true monarch, but ended up with a misguided servant girl who believed, she could protect Camelot and her king.” A tear rolled down her cheek, followed by another and another. Gwen wiped the traitors away with an angry swipe and picked up a parchment and goose feather from the table in front of her. She handed both to Sir Edward, who took them wordlessly before signing his name below the Queen’s own signature. He handed the goose feather to his neighbour and one by one, eight council members added their names to the parchment. Gwen sighed with relief and scrutinized the circle of pale faces surrounding her.




“We do not have a dragon’s heart to give to Leofwine, but he shall not remain empty-handed for long.” The council members watched in horror, as Gwen pulled a silver dagger from her sleeve. Her glance came to rest on a face she had known all her life. “Mine is but a poor substitute, but I shall give it gladly in the hope that it will appease him.”




Geoffrey shook his head, his lips trembling. “No! My lady, I implore you! You mustn’t…Arthur will never forgive us, if we let you sacrifice –“




“Silence! You have your orders.” Gwen turned to Geoffrey and handed him the dagger. “Do what you must do…and please look after Gaius for me.” The old librarian nodded with tears welling up in his eyes and received the dagger from her hand.




She slowly untied the ribbons that braided her corset at the front of her gown and pulled down a sleeve, exposing her shoulder and the swelling of her breast. A collective gasp escaped the council members’ throats as Gwen reached out, raising Geoffrey’s hand to her chest, the silver dagger gleaming in the candle light as it came to rest against the Queen’s skin. Geoffrey’s hand shook violently, preventing him from pressing the dagger into her flesh.  Gwen smiled, laid her hand over his wrist and whispered: “For Camelot!”




“For Camelot!” Every council member repeated her words; their lips moving as if in slow motion, their eyes focussing anywhere but on the Queen, their faces filled with pride and utter sorrow.




Gwen closed her eyes and thought of the day when Arthur had first kissed her. The happiness of that day and the warmth of his lips transported her, rendering the sting of the blade against her breast meaningless in the light of such bliss. “Now, old friend,” she said and held her breath.




The doors flew open, sending the two guards flying across the council chamber’s floor. Gwen opened her eyes and stared. A man had appeared in the doorway, his face seemed vaguely familiar. She searched her mind, but for the moment her head felt utterly empty; his cloak was dusty from his long travels, his mail shirt torn, his hair unwashed and his grin was as wide as the gap between the kind of queen Gwen thought she should be and the one she actually was.




“Beggin’ my Queen’s pardon, but Prince Urien has sent word. He’s met up with Arthur and they’ve mobilised an army to come to Camelot’s aid.” Noticing the look on the council members’ faces for the first time, the man scratched his stubbly chin. “I say, I’m not interrupting anything important, am I?”




“Hueil!” Gwen’s knees gave way and she sank down on the throne behind her and broke into helpless laughter. “Nothing important at all! Geoffrey here was just entertaining us with his recommended book list for the winter. Arthur will be pleased. He’s long been saying how he should read more.”




Sir Edward gulped and dug his elbow into the librarian’s ribs. The old man stared uncomprehendingly at this friend. When the implication finally penetrated his mind, Geoffrey rushed to the table and stabbed the parchment right through its treacherous heart. Everyone watched as the silver dagger shivered to a halt. Hueil raised an eyebrow and was about to comment, but Gwen got in first.




“Geoffrey, I hope you won’t insist on His Majesty perusing the final eight on the list. Come to think of it, they’d probably give him heartburn!”




…to be continued…

(source of animation:




Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 14)

What a great return Merlin made to the BBC’s Saturday night family viewing slot – part one of “Arthur’s Bane” was a cracking story with far more emotional depth than any other episodes gone before in the previous 4 series.

With a referential nod to “Game of Thrones” and “Indiana Jones” the writers have given us a great, multi-stranded story that is set three years after Series 4 finished and four years into Arthur’s reign as king. Gwen has grown beyond recognition – no longer the pathetic and utterly irritating domestic, but a self-assured queen to be reckoned with. Sadly, the new wig they’ve given to the wonderful Richard Wilson somehow “out-acted” him on this episode, but hopefully he’ll have more meatier scenes in the upcoming episodes.

Morgana has found a new ally and is even madder than before – wearing that skimpy dress in the snow-covered north of Britain without a hot water bottle attached to your back? Come off it girl, you’re using magic to keep the frostbite out of your face, aren’t you, your ladyship?

Merlin and Arthur are still bickering as before and Arthur’s face is priceless, when he discovers his servant can actually juggle – but their bond is no longer just that of master and servant; it has grown into something like brotherhood, their bromance still carrying the lighter moments of the show and their rock-solid friendship underpinning the darker ones.

Good to see more of the knights, too…literally, since they spent much of their time shirtless, wowing fangirls across Britain and setting Twitter nearly on fire. The writers clearly decided it was time Arthur kept his shirt on for an episode, while Tom Hopper and Eoin Macken used their combined acting muscle to lend that “dramatic” element to the story (or do I mean “bulging”? Damn the complexity of the English language!).

My only criticism: the ending of episode one had this writer rather alarmed – are we to be treated to a spot of Prometheus and ET in part 2 of Arthur’s Bane?

There’s no naked knightly flesh in this next installment of my fan fiction – but I hope you’ll enjoy it nonetheless.

Part 14.

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired again in the UK on 13th October 2012 at 7.45 pm. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

On a hill close to Castle Deira…

“It was too easy! Where were the guards, the soldiers, the servants? Castle Deira can’t be completely deserted, surely?” Siward shook his head, while his master paced up and down, leaving heavy foot prints in the leaf-strewn soil.

They had made halt on the summit of a hill overlooking the fields that surrounded Castle Deira. In the distance, they could see the moat glisten in the last rays of the sun, as a heron took flight, no doubt in search of better hunting grounds. Another summer’s day had baked the earth to such an extent, the leaves in the trees and shrubs around them were whispering in the wind as if autumn had already set in and deprived them of their life force.

“I hear you, Siward. We escaped unchallenged by man, troll or beast. Makes me wonder what horrors lie beyond this hill – we’ll pay for our theft one way or another, that’s for sure!” Urien sank down on the cart that held the kegs of wine they had “liberated” from Castle Deira’s wine cellar and mopped his neck and face with his scarf. Finally, the prince pulled off his gloves and let his cloak slide to the ground. He stretched his long legs and yawned luxuriously. “I don’t know about you, my friends, but I could do with a tankard to wash away the aftertaste of that troll-infested castle! This is as good a spot as any to make camp.”

“Now you’re talking our language, Sire!” Siward, Urien’s servant, patted the kegs lovingly. “Fine vintage, your father said. Perhaps we should make sure it’s actually the right vintage in these barrels, before we present them to our liege? We wouldn’t want to disappoint his Majesty, would we now?” The man grinned from ear to ear, nudging his comrade in arms and equally parched friend Kai. “Help me get one of these little beauties down from the cart, my friend.” The two servants heaved the keg down and placed it lovingly at the feet of their master.

Urien smiled and got up. He drew out his dagger and began to loosen the stopper. “Hand me the goblets from my saddle bag, Siward. If we must face the music and dance to death’s tune…well, at least we’ll do so with a song on our lips and a belly full of fine wine.”

The stopper came loose with a loud POP and fell into the tall grass around them. Siward bent down and picked it up. He sniffed the cork like a true expert. “Hm, nice aroma. Those barrels have been down in that wine cellar for twenty years or more. There’s not going to be a finer vintage at your father’s table, Sire.” The man poured a liberal quantity into a wooden goblet. “To your very good health, Sire.” Siward raised his goblet and drank deeply; Kai followed his example. Only Urien held back.

“It does have a distinct aroma! Reminds me of something, but I can’t think of what…I don’t think you should drink any more of this stuff,” Urien sniffed the wine in his own goblet once more. “My father’s generosity usually comes at a heavy price.”

Siward scratched his belly thoughtfully and smacked his lips. “Hm, perhaps you’re right. There’s a funny aftertaste to this wine.”

“That’ll be the troll dung they use to flavour it.” Gawain stepped out from behind a dense cluster of oak saplings and faced Siward with a drawn sword. “Believe me, another goblet of this and your ears will grow, your legs will shrink, your belly will bulge…in short, you’ll turn into a troll…not that one could actually tell the difference with a face like yours, mind.”

Prince Urien reached for his own sword. “And who might you be that you should make fun of my servants?”

“My, the thieves in these parts must be doing well, if they can afford to keep servants!” Gawaine pointed to the illicit barrels. “What makes you think I was referring to your servants’ features?” He turned one of the kegs around and sniffed dismissively. “That’s the crest of our lady Marigold’s family. Explain to me how this comes to be in your possession, Sir Robber Baron.”

Gawaine was joined by Unding, who shot out from his hiding place in the shrubs, when he heard his dead mistress’ name. Merlin and Arthur followed him reluctantly, Sir Leon and Percival at their side.

Prince Urien smiled. “I think you’ll find my own crest depicting the house of Segovia is painted on the other side of these barrels, Sir Nosey-parker.” Urien sauntered to one of the barrels and turned it over casually, allowing Unding to inspect the crest.

“These barrels were stolen from my father’s encampment en route to Camelot, which that young knave Merlin over there knows only too well.” Urien pointed his sword at Arthur, who had at that moment appeared from behind a Hawthorne shrub. “It’s no use pretending you don’t know me, we met in the woods by Lake Merthur when you appointed yourself my lady Dragonara’s protector.” Urien snorted. “Her armed escort indeed – you couldn’t even skin a rabbit for our evening meal!” The collective eyes of Camelot’s round table focused on Arthur, who greeted the knights’ bemused scrutiny with a frown.

“Rabbits?” The real Merlin’s eyebrows shot up. He had appeared like the said rabbit out of a hat behind his master and now clapped a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “Don’t tell me you were actually forced to do some work for a change? I hope you haven’t been ruining my reputation as a master of the cooking pot!” Merlin grinned from ear to ear, but Arthur’s face darkened and he wriggled out from under his servant’s hand.

“I guess I cooked a stew to match your skills as royal protector,” Arthur said. “Tell me, how’s young Eleanor doing these days?” Pretending to search the camp, Arthur’s head turned first left, then right. By way of a reply, Urien spat luxuriously at their feet.

“Foulest stew I’ve ever tasted. I can still feel the bits of fur between by teeth.” Urien finally said in a voice that contained generosity and contempt in equal measure. He made a show of cleaning his teeth with the nail of his little finger. Noticing Arthur’s discomfort, he broke into a wide grin, sheathed his sword and sat down on one of the kegs.

Merlin couldn’t stop himself and smiled back. “Good servants are hard to come by. I gather we are talking to Prince Urien? I’m trying to break mine in gently; he’s still got a lot to learn tough,” the real Merlin chuckled. “I apologise for the stew. Cooking has never been his strong point.” From somewhere behind him he heard Gawain and Percival snigger. Meanwhile, Arthur’s patience had clearly been tested to the limit and he clouted Merlin’s ear before pushing him aside.

“What this idiot is trying to say is…what possible reason could King Leofwine have to travel to Camelot?” Arthur challenged Urien. “I don’t want to sound inhospitable, but our guests don’t usually set off with a cart load of enchanted wine and an army as a welcome gift for the king and queen.”

Urien slapped his forehead and laughed. “I had forgotten how forward Camelot’s servants are. It may be common practice at Arthur’s court to divulge the king’s business to common kitchen cockroaches, but at Segovia my father’s business his own concern.”

Arthur had hurled himself at Urien before anyone could stop him. His fist collided with Urien’s chin and the prince was thrown off his perch. The keg rolled away from under him and would have tumbled all the way down the hill had Siward not intercepted it. The two young men thrashed around on the ground and were pummelling each other with their fists. The knights stood around watching them, while Unding concentrated on the kegs of wine, inspecting one by one and Merlin tried to separate the two combatants – without much success. He was thrown off his feet twice, before Gawaine came to his aid and with their combined strength finally managed to pull Arthur off the princeling.

After a fairly equal scuffle neither of the regal heads had emerged victoriously and, seeing a black eye in Urien’s camp and a bloody nose in the Camelot quarter, Merlin took a goblet from Kai’s hand and threw wine over both combatants. The two men jumped, spluttering and protesting, now rounding on Merlin instead.

“What the hell were you thinking, Merlin?” Arthur wiped the wine and blood of his dripping face. “The stuff’s enchanted, remember?”

“You’ll never know – Gwen might prefer you with a paunch and longer ears!” Merlin took a step backwards to avoid Camelot’s long arm of the law boxing his ears. “You know what they say, there’s no accounting for taste, Sire.”

Urien’s eyes widened. “Sire? Did I hear right, this feeble sprog with the purple nose is the King of Camelot?”

Before Arthur had a chance to make his feelings on the subjects “sprog” and “feeble” known, Unding had grabbed each of the combatants by the scruff of the neck. “We were on our way to bury my beloved lady Marigold, remember? The ancient burial grounds are that way, Sire.” Unding hoisted Arthur unceremoniously up into the air before dropping him into the general direction of the wood, while the unfortunate Urien was left dangling from Unding’s other arm. “As for these kegs, they do come from our cellar…but Prince Urien, if that is indeed this knave’s name, is correct in saying they carry his father’s crest. More than twenty years ago King Leofwine rode across our drawbridge and presented Wulfric with these kegs as part of his “wedding gifts”, should Wulfric agree to such a match…and his lapse of judgement has held us in enchanted imprisonment ever since!”

Urien’s face was turning red for lack of air. “I’m truly sorry you should have fallen for one of my father’s less amusing practical jokes. Let me down and we’ll discuss reparations,” he gasped. Unding grunted and let go off the princely neck. Urien fell to the floor hard, but gathered his wits and his limbs quickly. “Let me untangle this web,” His dirt encrusted hand pointed at Arthur. “You are not a servant but some pretender for the throne of Camelot, calling yourself Merlin for reasons best known to yourself and you,” Urien grinned at the real Merlin, “are permitted by His Royal Camelotness to impersonate the king in your spare time.”

Urien rose and dusted himself down. He looked up at Unding, who was still glowering at him. “You on the other hand, strong man with the aroma of a wild boar, were in the employ of someone called Marigold, who my father once wooed? I gather the match didn’t happen and twenty years on the lady still pined for him…and now she’s faded away?”

Dragonara stepped blithely into the circle of men before Unding could flatten Urien with a single blow. “Mind your manners, Urien; you are addressing the King of Camelot. Lady Marigold was a good soul who deserves your respect, not your ridicule! Arthur’s faithful servant Merlin here,” she pointed to the real Merlin with a smile, “impersonated his master to keep him safe during a troll raid, leaving King Arthur no choice but to take on his servant’s role until he knew who and what he was dealing with, when he met me.”

Urien snorted. “He has my sympathy – for the past twenty years I’ve been trying to figure out what you are, my lady!”

Her eyes blazing and her chest heaving with scorn, Dragonara flew at him. “Tell me at once, what is your wretched father doing at Camelot?”

By way of an answer Urien pressed his lips firmly together and folded his arms. Kai and Siward stared at their feet and looked distinctly uncomfortable. Dragonara thumped Urien’s chest. “I’m waiting! Why did your father march on Camelot?”

A refreshing breeze rushed through the bushes and shrubs surrounding them. A couple of sparrows, startled by the movement in the branches, launched into the air and flew off, their flight accompanied by angry tweets and chatter. Merlin watched the young man’s face closely. Prince Urien clearly hoped the small distraction would give him time to gather his thoughts and come up with a satisfactory answer, one that wouldn’t strictly speaking be a lie and yet, would not betray his father either.

Dragonara drew her sword and stuck its tip roughly under her step-son’s chin. “Allow me to refresh your memory, dearest.”

Urien stared cross-eyed at the trickle of blood reddening the blade. He gulped, opened his mouth and turned with playful servility towards his step-mother, but before he could speak, the breeze carried another sound with it that made everyone’s hair stand on end.

A high-pitched scream filled the air, a cry full of loss and sorrow from a soul in despair, a person in deadly peril. Something in that voice forced Urien to turn around abruptly, disregarding the sword edge and the pain the blade inflicted upon him. His face drained of all colour except for a few drops of blood dripping from his chin. “Eleanor!”

Dragonara caught her breath. “Eliffer!”

“Quick, it’s coming from the woodland by the moat!” Arthur raced off with Merlin hurtling after him.

His longer legs gave Merlin usually the advantage, but Arthur was trained in combat and tracking an opponent was second nature to him. He dived down the hill and only stopped once to get his bearings, which Merlin used to his benefit. He gained on Arthur, leaving the knights well behind. Arthur had reached mid-point on his descent, when another scream filled the valley below and its pain and horror rose up to spur him on. Merlin could hear Gawain and Percival pelt after them, but felt rather than saw Urien follow hard on Arthur’s heels. Merlin feared his chest would burst with the effort, but he carried on running, running, not minding the twigs scratching his face, just running, running, following his king, no matter where it might lead him.

Nearing the bottom of the hill, Arthur lost his footing and tumbled, rising briefly but falling down again, holding his head. Merlin caught up with him and laid a solicitous hand on his liege’s dented forehead, but Arthur shook him off and urged him on his way. His head was used to knocks and the king was merely winded. Leaving his king and the others behind, Merlin raced on, now and again slipping on loose soil and pebbles, falling over a bushel of dry grass, but scrambling up again with dust and twigs clinging to his shirt, his knees smarting from the blow.

He carried on his descent, changing direction more often than a hare escaping from a fox, before finally crashing through a row of yellow gorse bushes, where he came to an abrupt halt at the bottom of the hill. Here scorched earth gradually turned into a lush meadow with wild flowers swaying gently in the breeze, before the land began falling away into a bubbling brook that fed the moat at Castle Deira. The sight greeting him took Merlin’s breath away and nearly turned his stomach. Tears rose to his eyes and a sob escaped his lips.

There wasn’t a moment to lose – he could hear Arthur and the others following him further up the hill. It wouldn’t take them long to reach him. He stooped and bent over the lifeless body of the small dragon by his feet. Merlin gently closed its staring eyes and stroked the golden crest on its neck, still warm to the touch. He took a deep breath, rose and turned towards the twisted body of a young girl, her face swollen, bloodied, and her eyes wide with fear. Merlin stood rooted to the spot, the horror of the meadow etched forever in his mind.

Oswiu’s left hand was firmly pressed over the girl’s mouth, while his other hand was eagerly tearing at her white shift, the nakedness of her legs shaming him, not her. His bodyweight had pinned her down, where her struggle against his betrayal had dislodged a clump of poppies and cornflowers in the meadow, their mournful heads bopping gently up and down in tune with the breeze.

For a moment all Merlin could focus on where the blood red blossoms and the azure sparkle next to them. He forced the tears from his lashes and a deep golden glow began to fill his eyes. Merlin’s gaze took in the trampled grass and the torn dress, the pleading in the girl’s face that was now turned towards him. He saw the man’s sweat stain his bare back and shoulders and took in the glistening, child-size sword lying next to the baby dragon. Time stood still, allowing Merlin’s senses to catch up, permitting his heart to record the loss he would feel for the rest of his days.

At the edge of the treeline a horse had collapsed, its legs lay crumpled under its magnificent body. He closed his eyes, but he could not shut out the knights’ whinnying mounts under the great oak, where Eliffer had tied up the animals, before rushing to his sister’s aid. Wearily, Merlin opened his eyes again; blood was still oozing, where Oswiu had stuck his dagger into the centre of Bede’s forehead to prevent the children’s flight.

Merlin felt a wave of rage taking hold of his whole being, a feeling he had never experienced before. He tried to suppress it, tried to calm himself and leave the fate of this man to Arthur and the laws of Camelot, but his eyes fell upon the girl’s grazed feet and the blood in the baked earth, where Oswiu had dragged her across the ground.

Merlin raised his hand as if that small gesture could block out the disgust he felt for the man or the pity swelling up inside him for the girl, the dragon Eliffer and gentle Bede. From deep within Merlin’s heart words rose to his throat and burst through his lips, words so terrifying in their intensity and force, they seemed to split the air like lightning following thunder.

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

…to be continued…

(source of animation:

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin (Part 13)

English: Actor Colin Morgan after the premiere...

English: Actor Colin Morgan after the premiere of film Island. Cineworld Glasgow Sunday 20th February 2011 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

At long last the continuation of my fan fiction story – just a short snippet this time, as I’ve been too busy with client work to do write more.

This weekend sees the long-awaited return of the BBC’s hit show Merlin and Twitter is alight with the new trailer and the fabulous photoshoot the four main characters did with a British magazine.

I hope the Merlin and fantasy fans among you will enjoy this latest instalment of my own story and no doubt we’ll be joining the Facebook and Twitter Merlin Returns party online, after the show has aired on Saturday.

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin! (Part 13)

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part.

The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

Merlin series 4 premiere at BFI

Merlin series 4 premiere at BFI (Photo credit: Rev Stan)

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 6th October 2012 at 7.45 pm. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

A bed chamber in Camelot…

The dawn rose in shades of amber, dusty pink and lavender over Camelot. A cold breeze entered the royal bed chamber, causing the red velvet curtains to stir. It blew a parchment off the central table and toyed with it for a moment, before returning to tug at the heavy curtains.

Gwen shivered and stooped to pick up the parchment. “By royal decree I, Queen Guinevere, in the absence of His Royal Majesty King Arthur Pendragon, as the regent and protector of Camelot…,” she sighed and returned the parchment to the table.

The Queen wrapped her woollen shawl tightly around her shoulders and closed the window to return to her princely four-poster bed…a bed that seemed far too large of late. She stretched out her legs, plumped up one of the pillows and rested her aching head. With a brief glance at the empty pillow next to her, she picked up Aurelius Smarticus’ book on dragons and re-read the passage Gaius had marked for her.

Today was the day of reckoning. Any moment now a messenger from King Leofwine’s camp would be riding up the ramparts and demand an audience with the Queen, the regent and protector of the citadel. Would she be handing over the dragon heart, the price for safe deliverance of Camelot and its people?

The Queen sighed and wiped away a tear that had stolen into the corner of her eye. How could she possibly protect the citadel from total destruction? Leofwine was a mad-man, obsessed and jealous, deaf to reason. She looked down on her work-worn hands and shook her head resignedly. How could a servant maid pit her wits against a king?

Unable to get back to sleep, Gwen rose, washed and dressed without rousing her maid. She sat down at her table and picked up the parchment again. All that was missing was her signature. If only she knew what Arthur would do in her shoes – would he sacrifice one living being for the greater good of Camelot?

Uncomfortable as the truth might be, she realised with a pang that the answer would be an unequivocal YES. Arthur would have no hesitation laying down his own life, let alone that of some troublesome magical creature, if it meant saving his people. Gwen took up the goose feather next to her and dipped it in ink. Wasn’t it her role to stop Arthur from making such decisions, if an alternative could be found? She watched the dark fluid drip off the sharp end of her goose feather, a droplet staining the parchment’s header. Gwen watched with morbid fascination as the dark liquid spread and the stain grew on the pale surface of the scroll…like blood seeping through a shirt, like a wound festering, like poison spreading through a hardened heart.

If only she could find another solution – but Aurelius’ book had left her in no doubt, this was the only way to save Camelot. Gwen took a deep breath and realised she had never felt so alone in her entire life, not even when her father Tom had been cruelly executed by Uther Pendragon for a crime he had not committed.

She raised the goose feather and signed her name on the parchment in the knowledge that Arthur would approve, but her own heart would never be quite the same again.

Gwen was called back to her surroundings by a commotion in the corridor outside her chamber. The door was torn open and one of the guards appeared.

“Beggin’ your pardon, my lady, King Leofwine himself is at the gate…with about half his army at his heels. What message, my lady?”

Gwen rose quietly, disregarding the parchment in front of her. “Tell him, we have located a dragon’s heart, but it will take another day to secure it. If he will grant us one more day, Arthur himself will hand him the heart King Leofwine so desires.”

The guard saluted and turned on the spot, marching out of his lady’s bedchamber as quickly as he had entered. Gwen sank back onto her wooden bench and turned over the parchment, unable to bear the sight of her own signature. Had she done the right thing? Playing for time was a dangerous business.

A moment later, she had her answer. Two fanfares sounded down below in the encampment. Shortly afterwards shouts and screams followed. Gwen rose reluctantly and returned to her window. She unfastened the clasp and opened the small lead-glass door into the world beyond. The lavender sky was streaked with glowing yellow now…glowing shooting stars coming straight at the citadel.

She swallowed hard and faced what she knew to be the result of her weakness and indecision. The encampment had sprung to life; torches were marching up towards the ramparts of the citadel, teams of oxen were pulling heavy equipment up the hill; archers had already gathered in formations to join the throng of crossbowmen and knights. The first burning arrows hit the outer ramparts. The second salve reached its target. A strangled scream rose up to the Queen’s window; she leant out to see a man collapse on the guard’s walkway below her lofty lookout. An arrow stuck out of his chest. She gasped in horror.


The spectacle of war unfolded under the lavender sky, where the first war machines were appearing on the horizon. Down below, at the edge of his encampment, King Leofwine rubbed his hands together, glee lighting up his face.

“How’s that for a taste of kingship, my lady Guinevere? I shall have my revenge and my honour shall be restored. Camelot’s fields will be drenched by her soldiers’ blood.” Laughing, Leofwine raised his arm and shook his fist towards Gwen’s window. “Once I have the dragon’s heart, nothing will stop me!”

Merlin (series 1)

Merlin (series 1) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…/to be continued…

(source of photographs Wikipedia)

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 12)

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin! (Part 12)

Part 12 was created on 20th to 23rd August 2012.

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 29th September. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

The ruined great hall at Castle Deira…

Everyone turned to Yolanda, who stood motionless by the hearth, staring at her waif-like hips. Merlin dug his ribs into Arthur’s side. “Look, no wart on her chin and her hair’s turning from grey to blonde. The curse is lifting!”

Instinctively, Arthur turned to look for his godmother, but she seemed to have vanished. Next to them their friend Gawain was beginning to moult at an alarming speed. He had begun to scratch his ears and neck, spreading fluff everywhere. Merlin sneezed, sending tufts of fur up into the air.

Arthur’s face lit up at the sight of his friend’s familiar features emerging from the fur. “Look Merlin, even the tavern-bags under his eyes are gone!”

“So they are, but I bet his feet still stink like a bear’s behind!”

“I can break curses and spells, but I cannot perform miracles, Merlin.” Dragonara waved across the crowded hall. Merlin beamed at her through clouds of fur. Every troll had started to moult. All around them the great hall was gradually filling up with handsome young knights – with the exception of one particularly bulky guard. He was still talking goose fat and still looked very much like a troll. Dragonara shrugged her shoulders. “Some battles are doomed to failure.” Merlin laughed and waved to her. She smiled and waggled her hand in a regal gesture.

Within moments Gawain had transformed into his old self. He threw his arms around Merlin’s and Arthur’s neck, hugging them close.

“But how is this p-p-possible?” Ethelgunda took a fresh ladle from a hook on the wall and stirred the caldron. She sniffed the bubbling contents and shook her head; her gaze fell on Arthur, who grinned back at her.

“Sorry my lady, I’m very much attached to my hair. You’ll have to find another noble scalp to spice up your soup. I thought to break the spell you needed high born blood?”

“It wouldn’t have bothered Yolanda or me, but Marigold was always so squeamish, we had to use hair.” Ethelgunda eyed Gawain keenly. “None of the others ever managed to resist a spell this powerful. Who is that man? And, come to think of it, who the hell are you?”

“Simple, I’m Arthur and this is my friend Gawain, the finest knight at Camelot. You wanted noble blood and he supplied it! Now be content and let us go.”

“But if you’re Arthur, who’s that?” Ethelgunda’s hand pointed first at Merlin and then at her ruined hall. “He’s responsible for all this mess and I have a good mind to make somebody pay.”

Arthur gazed at the remnants of her ancestral home and sympathized – to a degree. “This is nothing; you should see what Merlin does to my chambers at Camelot. Still, loyal servants are hard to come by and you’ll not find one more loyal than him.”

“A servant?” Ethelgunda screeched. “But…the brew seemed to work for a while…we all stayed young and hale for far longer than the usual hour…and then there were all those explosions…is he the natural son of an emperor that his blood should carry so much nobility?”

Arthur shrugged his shoulders. ”Nobility is not defined by birth; it’s a man’s choices and his actions that prove his worth…or hers.” He glanced over his shoulder at a point by the door, where Dragonara’s blonde head was bopping up and down in lively conversation with a handsome guard.

Meanwhile, Marigold and Yolanda had started to investigate the cauldron, too. Yolanda snatched the ladle from Ethelgunda’s hand and began fishing in the broth. “Look!” She caught Gawain’s handkerchief and held it up to the light. “The blood’s washed out.”

Marigold clapped her hands. “I told you so! The noble Gawain has set us free.”

A growl as loud as thunder silenced the hall. Everyone turned towards the entrance, where the two-headed dog had just entered and pounced on a member of their party. Merlin tried to get closer but several troll-turned-knight guards got in his way. He called out to Arthur, who snatched a sword from one of the knights and made his way across the hall to see his godmother prostrate, the dog’s mighty paws pinning her to the flagstones.

“Get your filthy paws off her!” Arthur pointed his sword at the dog’s throat.

The beast did not budge; instead, it began to tremble and shake. Slowly the paws turned to muscular hands, the fore and hind legs transformed into powerful arms and legs. The creature lifted both its heads and stared with four yellow eyes at Arthur, who dug the tip of his sword deeper into the beast’s broad neck. The creature’s transformation was almost complete. Two heads merged into one silver-haired crown. Finally, a crouching man peered down at Arthur’s sword, his eyes full of contempt.

With a swipe of his hand he pushed Arthur’s sword out of the way and rose to his full height. He spat on Dragonara, who tried to get up but was flattened by his boot on her small back. “You dare show your face here, you harlot? I should have you horse-whipped for what you did to me.”

Arthur took a step forward and raised his sword to the man’s chest. “Let her go or you’ll get acquainted with my blade!”

“Who’s this whelp, Dragonara? Your latest bed-fellow, I shouldn’t wonder.”

“He’s Arthur, King of Camelot. The lady Dragonara is his godmother.” Merlin stepped out from a crowd of onlookers. Arthur’s servant also pointed a sword at the old man.

Merlin’s gaze searched the onlookers’ faces. None of the knights around them was lifting a finger to assist their lord. Castle Deira’s owner didn’t appear to have the respect he took for granted. Merlin scrutinised the old knight’s features; he was a man of about sixty, with a long nose and deep-set dark eyes. He wore old-fashioned robes, the type a noble man would have worn before Merlin was born. There were pearls and semi-precious stones sewn around the hem of his cloak and embroidery decorated the sleeves of the old man’s tunic. The man’s face was full of contempt.

“Why should I believe anything you say, boy? Yesterday you told us your name was Arthur and you were the king of Camelot.”

“He speaks the truth today; Merlin was just trying to protect my godson, his lord. Let them go, Wulfric. Your quarrel is with me.” Dragonara tried to get up but he kicked her hard and the blow winded her.

“I was talking to the boy!” Wulfric kicked her viciously. “Leofwine’s throne wasn’t enough for you, Madam? You had to insinuate yourself into Uther’s court as well as this one?” He laughed wildly. “But where are my manners! We have guests from abroad! Let’s have a little celebration in honour of Castle Deira’s deliverance. We shall have a bonfire this lady and her friends won’t forget in a hurry. Unding, fetch wood and kindling. I shall end this enchantment once and for all.”

Merlin stared at the person Wulfric had just addressed. The handsome officer standing just behind Arthur met Merlin’s gaze and shrugged his shoulders. Wulfric turned on him ferociously. “Stir your limbs, idle fellow, unless you want to feel my whip on your back. My daughters are no longer giving the orders around here. You’d better get used to it – I’m lord and master of this house.”

Unding remained rooted to the spot, so did his men. Wulfric evaded Arthur’s blade and slapped Unding’s face hard, but the guard neither retaliated nor moved a muscle.

The crowd of onlookers parted wordlessly to admit Gawain, who strode up to the old man and pointed his sword at Wulfric’s chest. “A fire in July? I wouldn’t recommend it, Sire, far too stuffy in my lady’s bed chamber.” The old man stared coldly at the three blades pointed at his body and snarled.

Marigold’s anxious face appeared at Gawain’s side. He raised his sword higher offering Wulfric the chance to have his throat cut three ways. “Here’s the thing, you flea-bitten old knave: harm one hair on Unding’s back and your hide will get such a lashing, you’ll look back fondly on your days as a two-headed hearth rug. You heard my liege, let his godmother go, she came here to help.”

“We don’t need her kind of help. You fool! I have no doubt this latest enchantment will vanish at dawn and you’ll turn back into the worthless hog you’ve always been.” The old man’s hand crept slowly up to his belt; he drew a silver dagger and lashed out at the nearest target, which just happened to be Gawain.

Marigold screamed and threw herself into the path of the knife. Gawain caught her in his arms, but he was not fast enough; her slender body slid down to the floor and he dropped to his knees, her head resting on his chest.

“Little Marigold, what have you done? Your father’s right, I’m not worth losing your life over. I spent the night with your sister, when I should have slept in your arms.”

She smiled up at Gawain’s pale face. “Don’t fret, it doesn’t hurt. My turn to shed a little blood, dear knight. I couldn’t let him harm you…not after all you’ve done.”

“But I didn’t do anything, not really –“

“Yes, you did. You offered to marry all three of us, remember? You lifted the curse and now everyone’s free. And you were kind to me last night…when I turned back into a hag before my sisters did…I drank more brew to make myself beautiful for you again in the morning…but you didn’t mock when I was old and shrivelled, you took another turn around the dance floor with me and gave me a kiss.”

Gawain blinked and stared at the dagger in her chest. He shook his head, when Arthur bent down over them to offer his help. Marigold’s blood was beginning to seep through her gown and form a puddle on the ground.

Unding sank down beside her and folded his hands over hers. “My lady, please don’t leave us. I couldn’t bear to lose you…not now…after all we’ve been through.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed her fingers.

“You mustn’t do that, Unding.” Marigold tried to withdraw her hands from his, but he wouldn’t let her. “My hands…so rough from all that baking and roasting…the hands of an old scullery maid…dear Unding, you’ve served us so loyally all these years…even when father mistreated you, you didn’t leave. I was so horrible to you…I teased you when we were growing up…I’d noticed you looking at Yolanda…she was always so beautiful…silly jealousy…you deserve a true lady as your mistress, one who treats you the way you deserve.” She freed one of her hands and touched his face gently, wiping away his tears.

Unding shut his eyes. “Oh no, my lady. You’ll always be my mistress; there’ll never be anyone else.” Her fingers slid down his mouth and chin and finally to the floor, where her small, white hand came to rest in the pool of blood that had gathered beside her. Gawain lifted her hand gently and crossed her arm over her motionless chest. He tried to detach Unding from her other hand, but the guard wouldn’t let go; her fingers were still curled around his. Yolanda cried out and rushed over to her youngest sister. Ethelgunda staggered to the one and only chair and sank down. Unding’s face had turned pale and his lips trembled.

Gawain placed his hand on the guard’s shoulder. “She was the finest baker and your devoted friend.” He looked down at her face, the skin smooth again, her hair as black as a raven’s coat, her limbs slender and youthful, as if the past twenty years had never occurred. “And the sweetest lady I’ve ever met.”

Beside them Wulfric stared down coldly. “Never was a father so burdened with a child as I was with this silly girl. No sense of decorum, no idea of obligation, not an ounce of nobility.”

“You flea-bitten monster! You shall pay for that!” Unding shot up and hurled himself at Wulfric; he punched his former master hard in the face. Surprised by the ferocity of the attack, Wulfric stumbled over Dragonara and fell. The old man had no chance of fighting back, Unding’s fists landed blow after blow, his boots kicked without mercy.

Arthur, Gawain and Merlin eventually managed to pull Unding off the old man. Arthur lifted him to his feet and Gawain searched him for any more concealed weapons, but found none. Gawain bound his wrists and pushed him into the centre of the hall, while Arthur held on to Unding, who snarled and fought to get free again.

The old knight spat contemptuously on the floor: “Had she lived, you could have had her and be welcome to the stupid mare. In fact, take your pick from the remaining two idiots; they have cost me dearly, so take them both away, if they please you! I even give you a dowry, provided I don’t have to see their faces ever again. I paid for their stupidity with twenty years of my life. No suitor was ever good enough for my conceited daughters – not until Leofwine came along and Yolanda fell for his charms.”

Arthur relieved one of the guards off his duster and rammed it into Wulfric’s mouth. “I liked you better when you were a two-headed hound. You smelled better and there was less noise.” He looked around for his godmother. “Merlin, go find my sword. It’s about time we found the others and returned to Camelot. I’ve had my fill of foreign hospitality and can’t wait to get back home.”

“With pleasure, Sire.” Merlin headed out of the hall, but stopped, when he found Dragonara hunched over Marigold’s lifeless form. Yolanda and Ethelgunda were by her side, one sobbing quietly; the other outwardly composed but clearly shocked to her core.

Dragonara had placed her hand on Marigold’s chest and was about to remove the dagger. Arthur stopped her. “Come, it’s time to leave. There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. It is not your fault.” He laid his hands on her shoulders and tried to lift her up gently, but she resisted.

Her stern face looked up at him. “Nothing you can say will console me.” She stared at the substance clinging to her fingers. “This was my doing.”

“But you undid your sorcery! You helped break the spell. Wulfric caused her death, he’s to blame. I wouldn’t be surprised, if he didn’t offer his daughters to Leofwine in the first place.” Arthur bent down closer to his godmother’s ear. “If you feel the urge to turn him back into a hound, don’t hold back on my account, will you?”

Merlin blinked. Had Arthur just given his blessing to the use of magic for a good cause?

…/to be continued…

(source of animation:, photo credit Merlin Official Facebook)

More Trouble with the Grunters

Caerphilly Castle in Wales

I haven’t had a chance to do research on Castle Bratislava in the Czech Republic, so today I’m just heading down the road to Caerphilly Castle in Wales instead.

I truly wished over the past week I owned a castle, since it would keep everyone else out and me safely in.

For those of you who have been following my blog for a while now, the term Grunters will probably ring a bell…

Actually, bell-ringing is how it all started last Tuesday night at 11.50 pm, when I was woken up by persistent ringing and hammering at our front door.

As I was completely alone in the house at the time, I didn’t switch on the lights or answer the door. Eventually the nuisance callers went away and I fell asleep once more…only to be woken up again at 1.30 am by more bell-ringing and fists on the door.

English: Caerphilly Castle in Caerphilly, Wales

English: Caerphilly Castle in Caerphilly, Wales (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This time the callers had brought their very own helicopter which circled over the area and woke up the entire neighbourhood.

I shut my eyes and started dreaming of buying Pierrefonds Castle, pulling the duvet over my head until the callers went away.

I fell asleep only to be disturbed for the third time at 2.18 am, when more bell-ringing followed, this time unaccompanied by helicopters or fists.

The next morning I went down to check with the business located on the ground floor of our building, if anything was missing or if someone had tried to break in, only to be told that my upstairs neighbour’s boyfriend had made a nuisance of himself there by turning up repeatedly with the police, trying to get into the building when I was out and my flatmates were also away.

Was the nocturnal nuisance caller dressed in blue uniform or just in his customary dirty shirt and jeans?

English: Caerphilly Castle

English: Caerphilly Castle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Turns out, the middle aged lady living upstairs has gone missing, just like in the Hitchcock classic “The Lady vanishes” (1938, starring Michael Redgrave and Dame May Whitty as Miss Froy). Perhaps it was the Gestapo at my door or Hitch himself reminding me to always expect the unexpected in my prose?

The vamoosed lady left more than a month ago, conveniently forgetting to tell her boyfriend she’d be staying elsewhere – her post has been re-directed, so I’m assuming she’s safe with her daughter or son.

Meanwhile, on Sunday morning at 10 am I was once again disturbed by more bell-ringing, this time via an imposing ring-finger belonging to one of 3 police people, who couldn’t give a flying fig about vanished ladies but quizzed me about….YEP, THE GRUNTERS who moved out in March!

I had to identify the chief Grunter from a picture and tell the plain-clothes detectives everything I know – which is precisely zilch – about the whereabouts of this most nauseating of former neighbours.

Now, you would think that this interview represented the pinnacle of a public spirited performance from a foreigner living in the UK – but no, this morning (Tuesday) I was allowed to show a repeat performance to two uniformed officers, who came ringing and hammering at our door at 8 am. Yep, the knave Grunter strikes again. Did I know of his whereabouts and had he been seen near the premises and when did he actually move out…?

Hang on, didn’t I tell that already to the plain clothes detectives on Sunday morning? It must be me – I’m clearly going prematurely senile with all these night and day-time disturbances.

English: Scaled-replica siege weapons at Caerp...

English: Scaled-replica siege weapons at Caerphilly Castle, south Wales (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Where are my knights, my soldiers, my castle guards and crossbowmen you might ask? Where are the archers who’ll put an arrow into the paininthearse that is Grunter and Co?

Caerphilly Castle

Before everyone jumps to the conclusion I live in the slums of Cardiff and therefore only have myself to blame, well, I don’t. At least I didn’t until the Grunters moved in…and out again. Now our house has a police reputation and is probably under surveillance as I’m writing this.

My new flatmate S. and her small dog B., who only moved in on Saturday afternoon, will probably spend today sniffing through my kitchen cupboards in case I’m involved in a major drug deal or gold bullion heist. Meanwhile, I’ve fled to a university library, which is currently free of uniformed menaces in blue but full of men in white coats…they are painters and decorators the librarian said, but I don’t believe in the tooth fairy anymore so why should I believe a librarian with gold dust on her nose?

English: Interior of the Great Hall, Caerphill...

English: Interior of the Great Hall, Caerphilly Castle, south Wales (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In fact, I’m no longer sure, if I shouldn’t simply throw in the towel and head for the safety of a padded cell. Reading through Caerphilly Castle’s estate agent blurb I find it requires far too many repairs to be of interest to me.

When Earl Gilbert de Clare (1243 to 1295) built Caerphilly Castle, he apparently forgot to add a keep, a pretty stupid thing to do when you live in Caerphilly town centre – I worked there – I know what the local peasants get up to come sunset!

You want to head straight for the keep and let down the portcullis the moment school’s out, not hang around by the fire in the great hall, watching half-naked minstrels perform your favourite bit from Blackadder or cheer your jesters jousting in the corridors.

Caerphilly castle - another western view

English: Caerphilly Castle in the early evenin...

Come to think of it, the Grunters would fit right into Caerphilly, a run-down little town surrounded by hills, where even toddlers are likely to carry knives I’m told (by Welsh people). Earl Gilbert built the castle because nearly one half of his revenues were derived from the south of Wales and as a consequence he needed to defend his agricultural realm from rebellion by the Welsh and a jealous King Edward I, who was after Gilbert’s wealth.

Caerphilly Castle

Caerphilly may have concentric defences and major reinforcements at its gatehouse that would keep out even the most determined of boyfriends, but the east front defends the dam that holds the waters of the moat in place and that makes the whole place rather damp and not to my taste. Just imagine the mess, if somebody broke through that curtain wall! You’d never get the stains out of the carpets.

Also, Caerphilly train station is right opposite, a cesspool of rebellion if ever there was one and a favourite hang-out for Edward I, when he’s been to a rugby match.

Caerphilly Castle is in fact an early example of the keep-gatehouse principle of defence, meaning there’s an entrance passage that can be closed at either end by letting down a portcullis and shutting a heavy door. This means my imaginary knights could defend the castle against besieging boyfriends entering the courtyard and against any detectives knocking at the other door from the outside.

The keep-gatehouse was constructed far higher than a normal gatehouse would be, affording my armed guards excellent views over the undefended back of the wide southern platform and the whole of the outer ward in that part of the castle complex – in the event any Grunters should try to sneak in, you understand.

Caerphilly Castle relies mostly on its impressive water defences, which nowadays include floating dead pigeons, used condoms, plastic bags and drinks cans;  no doubt these were put there by the local tourist board to repel any fan-girl visitors, who arrived hoping they’d get a signed photograph from Merlin’s Colin Morgan or Bradley James once the fearless fan-girls get across the stretch of water and past the BBC’s own crossbowmen.

English: Took this picture of Caerphilly castl...

Having worked in Caerphilly I can honestly say it’s not worth attacking – I wouldn’t waste a single arrowhead or bolt in its defence should any Welsh person rebelling against taxes imposed by their big-eared overlord come knocking at my portcullis or swim across my moat.

Grunters on the other hand should watch out for flying chamber pots, left-over lances from the Merlin production and Earl Gilbert’s toasting forks!

(source of animation:; photographs Wikipedia)

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin (Part 11)

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin Part 11, created 19th to 20th August 2012 .

I haven’t had a chance to edit this latest part properly, since I’ve been so busy with flatmates moving in and putting things into storage. However, I didn’t want to deprive Loonyliterature’s Michelle of the continuation to the cliffhanger from last week! Hope you’ll enjoy this next bit…

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 29th September. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

The bowels of Castle Deira…

The beast took another giant leap and was now facing them from the next level up. Arthur’s hand shook for a moment, but he clearly forced himself to regain control. Before he had a chance to strike, however, Merlin had sidled past him. “There’s a good doggy, look, some nice bread for you, how about that?”

The dog leaped down and sniffed Merlin’s outstretched hand. Baring all his teeth the beast gingerly took the offered bread and tore it out of the boy’s grasp. The first head dropped the chunk of bread; the second snatched it up again and began to chew. Merlin reached out and patted the first head cautiously. The dog stopped chewing, whimpered and submitted to the caress with both heads.

“He likes his ears scratched.” Marigold’s face had appeared on the uppermost level. She’d not had a good morning either, Merlin reckoned, when he glanced up into her tear-stained face. Marigold sniffed dismissively. “Your friends have escaped again. I think they’ve locked themselves into the tower of falconry. As if that would do any good.”

Behind her Unding’s head had appeared. “Best place for them, if you ask me, my lady. They’ll be turning soon. The first few hours can be rather…disorientating for a man not used to being a troll. I’m surprised their friend’s held up so well. His transformation should be complete by now.” Unding was pressing a blood-stained handkerchief to his nose. Noticing Arthur for the first time, he growled as ferociously as the dog had just done. “YOU! Mistress Marigold, he’s the stranger I told you about, the one I found up by the mangonel. Isn’t that my coat of mail the scoundrel’s wearing?”

Arthur shifted his position on the stairs a little to hide behind Merlin. Being caught by your servant wearing a girl’s blouse was one thing, being unmasked as a thief by the owner of a coat of mail quite another.

“If you’ve come to rescue your friends, you’re too late, I’m afraid. They’ll soon be just like him.” Oblivious to the brewing dispute over Arthur’s clothes, Marigold pointed at Gawain. The knight under review took one look at her, emitted a delighted squeal and raced up the stairs, pushing Merlin and the two-headed hound out of the way. Arthur tried to hold his bewitched friend back, but failed.

At the top of the stairs Gawain shoved the troll to one side and threw his arms around Marigold’s neck. “Lllleeeeeegggge Daaarrrlllinnnggg!” He planted a wet kiss on her mouth, which earned him a punch in the snout from Marigold and a kick in the backside from Unding, who clearly wasn’t impressed by a newcomer taking such liberties with his mistress.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Great! Now we have a jealous troll, a two-headed father-in-law AND a wild boar in love guarding the stairs. Could any damsel’s virtue be more protected?”

“You’re already spoken for, remember?” Merlin grinned from ear to ear, feeding the last morsel of bread to the hound. “Mistress Marigold, please tell me who bakes this delicious bread?”

Arthur boxed Merlin’s ears. “Who cares? We’re not here to unravel the secrets of their kitchens! We’re here to free our friends, so I can get back to my bride whom I remember with great clarity, thank you very much.”

“The way to a woman’s heart is to compliment her on her womanly skills.” Merlin muttered. “You might want to remember that, Sire. Women appreciate delicacy in a man.”

“Oh, really? Is this speaking from experience as a notorious heartbreaker in Ealdor, where you lived with your mother and two chickens and the only single girl was seventy-years-old?”

“You’re the one who needed four years of practice to propose to Gwen,” Merlin grinned. “I’m trying to create a distraction here!” Ignoring Arthur, Merlin took a few steps upwards the stairs, keeping his eye on the dog. “Am I right in thinking that overseeing the kitchens is your responsibility, my lady? Perhaps you are the expert baker yourself?”

Above him, Marigold nodded so enthusiastically, her greying hair tumbled out of its golden net. “I’ve always been fond of baking. You should try my brioche. Father used to scold me for sneaking down to Cook, saying it was unbecoming for a lady of noble birth to loiter in the kitchens.” She coyly wrapped a strand of hair around her fingers. “My one ambition was to be a good wife. You can’t run a household as large as this one and not know how much grain is being used. The servants might rob you blind!”

Squeezing past the dog, Arthur joined Merlin on the next step up. His servant’s elbow nudged him in the ribs, cautioning him to silence. Merlin beamed at Marigold. “Absolutely, I couldn’t agree more. It’s just the same at Camelot. My household servants would have the very shirt from my back, given half a chance.” Merlin stopped himself from laughing, when he saw Arthur’s eyebrows go up and realised he’d gone too far.

Unding pointed at Arthur’s chest. “And when he can’t get Your Majesty’s shirt, your servant helps himself to mine? I’d know that collar anywhere. I darned the tear myself. Look, there on the cloak, my lady, it bears the Wulfgar arms!” Unding gesticulated wildly. “The thieving rat! We may not hold much land, but we are of noble birth. How dare he besmirch my honour! Let me at the scoundrel, Mistress Marigold, I’ll soon teach him some manners.” Unding tried to get past his mistress and reached down over her shoulder to feel Arthur’s collar, but Merlin blocked the way and slapped his wrist.

“We may be your prisoners but if he’s stolen, he’ll answer to me, not you! His hide is mine to do with as I please.” Merlin grabbed Arthur by the ear and said in his most Arthur-like voice. “Did you take the guard’s clothes, peasant? He may look like a bear with a swine’s snout, but underneath that fur he’s still a man of noble birth and therefore not to be insulted by the likes of you.”

Unding growled, but Marigold merely giggled. “You know, it’s so nice talking to someone who understands. Now that I take a closer look at you, you’re not nearly as puny as I thought.” She risked placing a foot on the next step down, to the consternation of Unding and Gawain, who tried to hold her back. She was now on the step just above Merlin’s. “It’s strange you know, the cauldron exploding the way it did when Ethelgunda added your hair to the brew. We’ve been trying to find a counter-spell to this wretched curse for ages. You must be ever so noble, Arthur dear. Ethelgunda probably used too much of your hair.”

She reached down and felt Merlin’s upper arm. “Oh my, how very pleasing! Is that from jousting every day?”

“No, it’s from carrying all that nobility on his shoulders.” Arthur gave his servant a little shove, propelling him into Marigold’s arms. “It’s inflating his royal pretensions.” Merlin wriggled like a worm on a hook, but Marigold held on to her prize with a surprisingly strong grasp.

“Marigold! What do you think you’re doing? Father, come away at once!” Ethelgunda had appeared at the top of the stairs. A rather out-of-breath Unding popped up next to her. “Heaven knows what you’d get up to, if I didn’t keep constant vigil over you, Marigold. Thankfully Unding alerted me.”

“And me. Don’t forget your Gawain, Mistress Marigold. He’s coming to your rescue, don’t you fret, my little raven.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Arthur, did you hear that? Our hog-nosed friend talks like a human!”

“Yes, and as usual he makes no sense at all!”

A horde of trolls, led by Gawain, ran down the stairs to take charge of the prisoners. Arthur was able to hold them off for a while and Dragonara’s sword managed to deal with several attackers, but they were soon overwhelmed and Marigold dragged the protesting Merlin up the stairs. The final insult came when Gawain engaged Arthur in a wrestling match, having successfully taken Excalibur from the king, who did not wish to harm his friend. Merlin muttered an incantation over his shoulder and Gawain was forced to drop the now red-hot sword with a howl. Excalibur tumbled down the stairs, but Arthur, clearly enraged at Gawain’s woolly-headed betrayal, dived after it, causing both king and knight to roll down the spiral stair case in a jumble of arms, legs and ill-fitting garments.

Fearing his cloak and coat of mail might come to harm, Unding cursed and ran down to catch up with them, closely followed by Merlin and the dog, which clearly thought this was a lot of fun. It snapped at Merlin’s heels and bounded down the stairs to flatten both combatants. With a little magic Merlin persuaded the dog to let go off its new playmates; judging by the language he used, when Arthur finally got back on his feet, Merlin doubted he’d get much gratitude from his king, whose sense of honour would undeniably have been dented by a dog’s backside. Unding hoisted up Gawain and put him back on his feet. Gawain now sported a deep cut above his left eye and Arthur clutched a bloody nose between his fingers. Merlin held out a handkerchief for Arthur, but Gawain snatched it and pressed it to his forehead instead. In the ensuing second scuffle Merlin got the chance to kick Excalibur out of sight and the dog got an opportunity to bite Unding, which appeared to satisfy the beast beyond measure.

Before Unding ordered his prisoners to walk up the stairs in single file, he clouted both Arthur and Gawain on the head with his fist. This foresight enabled the troll to bring in two rather subdued men without too much trouble. Merlin was allowed to bring up the rear with the dog, which seemed far less enthusiastic going up the stairs than it had going down, forcing Merlin to push it up the final steps. At the top of the stairs Merlin spotted Dragonara, who was staying out of sight by ducking behind a particularly bulky guard. Catching Merlin’s eye, she put a finger to her lips and inclined her head towards Ethelgunda and Marigold, who seemed blissfully unaware of Dragonara’s existence, having only eyes for Arthur’s golden head coming up the stairs.

“He came here all on his own to rescue his master, now isn’t that noble?” Marigold said when Arthur was being led past her. She eyed him keenly and, noticing her roving eye, he hurried to catch up with the others.

“Marigold, pull yourself together! He’s only a servant. Even Unding’s got more nobility in his veins than that scruffy boy.” Ethelgunda scolded her younger sister. However, she couldn’t resist reaching for Arthur’s hair, when he walked past her; Arthur slapped her wrists and followed Unding’s men and Merlin up the corridor, leaving Ethelgunda, Gawain and Mistress Marigold to hurry after them.

Unding ushered his prisoners triumphantly into the great hall, where a group of trolls were still performing clear-up duties, sweeping rubble aside and dusting the only remaining chair to within an inch of its upholstery’s life. Dragonara had managed to keep out of Ethelgunda and Marigold’s sight by selecting different guards for every section of their way. Now she stood at the very rear of the group, close to the entrance, where Merlin could just make out the top of Dragonara’s fair hair. She seemed to have engaged the troll in charge of her in a lively conversation about the merits of goose fat. Merlin’s keen ear heard the troll praise its use for keeping leather supple and saddle sores at bay. Merlin wondered briefly what would happen, when the three sisters finally caught up with Dragonara, the very source of all their misery.

The remaining guards were filing into the great hall, when Yolanda appeared through a small trap door in one of the few oak panels that still clung to the walls. She climbed over several large pieces of fallen masonry to reach the dilapidated hearth, where she sprinkled a few drops of belladonna into the apparently indestructible cauldron and prepared a fresh supply of broth.

Marigold, who was being led into the great hall hanging on Gawain’s arm, beamed at everyone, while Yolanda stopped and stared open-mouthed at the newcomers. Gawain waved at her causally, tossing his bloodied handkerchief into her direction, but it missed the fire in the hearth and landed in the cauldron with a splash instead. Yolanda was too distracted by the sight of Marigold’s head on Gawain’s shoulder to take notice of the prisoners.

“YOU!” Yolanda pointed an accusing finger at Gawain. “How dare you spoil my brew with your filthy rag!” Yolanda shook with rage, her grey face turning an even less becoming purple. Merlin noted with dismay the colour was beginning to match the wart on her chin.

“You come here flirting with my youngest sister, when you slept in MY arms last night?” Yolanda pressed her fists to her cart-horse hips and stamped her foot. “You even called me your little Blondie Mouse this morning! I’ll show you what I think of your treacherous tongue. You are my servant; I claimed you and therefore demand your loyalty.” Yolanda reached for her ladle and hurled it at Gawain.  Unable to get out of the way fast enough thanks to Marigold’s arm around his neck, he took the ladle full in the face, steaming broth covering his stubbly cheeks, chin and neck.

Marigold’s arm slid from Gawain’s neck instantly and she turned on him. “You called me your ebony-haired love dove when we kissed in the corridor just now! You rat! I thought you were different than the other trolls.”

Gawain grimaced and took several brisk paces into the centre of the hall. He attempted to wipe the brew from his face, but succeeded only in spreading the syrup all over his furry paws. “Listen lady, last night I was drunk which made you look,” Gawain fingered the tip of his sore snout and savoured the broth, “a lot less like a wild boar. Besides, you tricked me, Yolanda. If things had gone according to plan, I’d have woken up next to little Marigold here.”

“She shouldn’t have run off like that. First come, first served!”

“It was nearly dawn, Yolanda, and I didn’t want him to see me turn into –, “ Marigold’s eyes began to swim.

Gawain smiled. “A fabulous cook? Mistress Marigold, you’ll always be a good match for any knight not to mention this prize specimen. I’m afraid your sisters are too much of an acquired taste.”

Yolanda snapped for air. “What a nerve! Just look who’s talking! I suppose you think you’re as handsome as your princeling friend over there.” She pointed at Merlin, who grinned back sheepishly, avoiding Arthur’s eye.

Unperturbed by Yolanda’s increasingly hostile demeanour, Gawain began licking broth from the digits on his right paw. “If I must choose, I’ll take Marigold. Just look at her! Her bread is by far the sweetest. Yolanda, you’re just too conceited for my liking and besides, all you ever do is play with that exploding cauldron over there.” He started on his left paw and savoured the remaining brew. “A man likes to come first in his lady’s affections, if you know what I mean. I say, this broth would taste even better with a pinch of salt and a morsel of beef, if you ask me.”

“Nobody’s asking you – and since when do trolls get to choose? I’m the eldest, by rights your hide’s mine.” Ethelgunda asserted her rights of seniority by pinching Gawain’s bottom.

Turning briskly, Gawain threw up his paws. “Ladies, please, no fighting, there’s enough cheek to go round. I’d marry the three of you, if I could, honest I would, but I think your father might have something to say about that.” Gawain patted his potential father-in-law’s two heads, both of which bared their teeth and growled, forcing Gawain to beat a hasty retreat and appeal to the ladies again. “Put down that spoon, Yolanda, no more broth, there’s a good girl. Marigold, that boot is far more becoming on a lady’s ankle than it is in a knight’s face. Ethelgunda, I promise I’ll stay, if you let my friends go. We had such a nice time last night, girls, why can’t it be like that again?”

Yolanda dropped her spoon and buried her hands in her face. Marigold hung her head and began to sob. Gawain took a step back and stared. “Why, what have I said? We had a whole lot of fun, you said so when we danced, drank and made merry.”

“It won’t ever be like that again, my friend. You’re able to talk, which means your transformation is almost complete…and that means the sisters will no longer have feelings for you.” Unding had stepped out quietly from the number of guards. “Trust me, over time they will break your heart.”

Gawain snorted. “Who said anything about feelings? Give a knight a break! A flagon of wine, a dance and a cuddle, that’s all I ask!” Gawain winked at Unding and performed a little pirouette. “It’s a comfortable enough castle and I won’t insist on a dowry, although frankly, it would sweeten the blow, if I had to marry those two bossy sisters.”

Marigold stared at him open-mouthed; the tears stopped streaming across her wrinkly, grey face.

“Did I hear right or were my ears deceiving me? Did that hog-nosed, ill-bred son-of-a- “ Yolanda’s face was now the same shade as elderberry juice.

“Yes, dear. I believe he did. He spurned us. Us!” Ethelgunda gasped. “He talks as if we were common tavern maids, the scoundrel!” Next to her, Mistress Marigold emitted a faint squeak. Unding growled and the canine father-in-law let off a howl.

Merlin sidled up to Arthur and shoved his elbow into his liege’s ribs. “Did you hear that?”

“Of course I did, Merlin! That hound’s got a terrific set of lungs on him. My ears are still ringing.”

“No, not the dog, you cloth-eared…I meant Gawain. He’s transformed, but he’s not their devoted servant, Sire.”

“Of course not! He’s never been anyone’s devoted servant, Merlin. Gawain’s a knight, born and bred.”

“So were you, Sire, but that didn’t stop Dragonara from telling you what to do on your way to Castle Deira, I’d wager.”

“Why, what has she told you?” Arthur cut his servant short. “If it’s about that damn rabbit stew I can explain –“

Oblivious to the consternation he was causing in the Castle Deira household, the dancing Gawain had spotted his friend Arthur in the crowd and was making a beeline for him. Gawain pointed to his own hog features. “I kept telling you it’s me, Arthur when you dropped by Yolanda’s bedchamber. You knew it was me all along, didn’t you? You recognised me when I balanced that crab on my toe, just like I did by Lake Merthur, but you couldn’t resist teasing me, could you, Sire?”

Arthur slapped his forehead. “Of course! How could I forget the crab! Sorry, my friend, it’s just you look rather –“

“Like Merlin after a day in the stocks? Haha, yes, you’re quite right. I’m not surprised Leon and Elyan tied me up. It must have come as a bit of a shock, after all the trouble they had breaking down that heavy door to rescue a friend and finding hairy old me instead. No hard feelings about our little misunderstanding earlier, I trust? Don’t know what came over me on that stair case. For some unfathomable reason I thought you were after little Marigold!”

Arthur’s eyebrows rose and he took a cautious step backwards. “I assure you, Marigold or any other lady of this household is entirely yours…if that’s what you really want.”

“Oh, it’s alright, I’ll stand aside, if you’ve got feelings for Marigold, Sire; although speaking as one man to another, I don’t think Gwen will approve. Just promise you won’t take Marigold away from her home, when you leave. She’s quite a sensitive little soul and would only be homesick.”

“I’m feeling rather homesick myself…we’re their prisoners, remember?” Arthur leant forward and peered into the knight’s face. “Gawain, are you alright?”

Unding pushed Gawain out of the way and confronted Arthur. “Shut up, servant boy! Just because our ladies don’t resemble your tavern wench Gwen doesn’t mean a man has to be mad if he fancies –“

“Exactly, Arthur. Some people said you were quite mad marrying your Gwen, but I say each troll to his ow–“

“Oh shut up, Gawain! I just meant your snout looks pale and your ears –“

“What about them, Arthur?” Gawain’s pawed his ears. The tufts on their pointed tips came off and he stared at the strands of fur in his open palms. “Will you look at that? We’re hardly through July and I’ve started to moult. I thought you said trolls only did that in October, Mistress Marigold?”

Unding came closer and fingered Gawain’s ears. A small patch of fur came loose and drifted to the ground. “Well, I never! What’s with this fellow? None of the others have ever fought against the transformation as long as this one has and now he’s turning back – “ Unding stopped in mid-sentence and gasped. “My lady Yolanda…goodness…your face…what’s happening to you?”

A ripple of astonishment swept through the assembled trolls. The guards came closer and stared at their mistress; even the dog stopped yawning and sat up.

English: Angel Coulby and Katie McGrath's lect...

English: Angel Coulby and Katie McGrath’s lecture at Japan Expo 2010 (Paris, France). Français : Conférence avec Angel Coulby et Katie McGrath à Japan Expo 2010 (Paris, France). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

/to be continued…

(source of animation:

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 10)

Part 10 was created on 14th August 2012. This latest instalment won’t please one faithful follower of this blog – there’s another cliffhanger, worse than the last, which means you’ll probably be dropping your greengages again (sorry, Michelle). Hope you’ll enjoy your Merlin weekend fan fiction nonetheless.

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5.

This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part.

The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther.

Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 29th September. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

(source of animation:; photo credit BBC Facebook page)

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin (Part 10)

At the eastern gate at Camelot…

“Begging your pardon for the small deception, Your Majesty. My name’s Hueil and my lord is Prince Urien. He feared you wouldn’t welcome a messenger from Leofwine’s camp. King Arthur was alive and well up until last night and so was my lady Dragonara. That’s when my lord saw them last by the shores of Lake Merthur. He regrets there is no news of Arthur’s men; it appears they have been abducted by some bandits. My lady Dragonara and King Arthur must have gone after them, but there’s no need to be alarmed. So far none of Camelot’s knights seem to have been harmed or injured. We found traces of a scuffle, but no blood to speak of.” The man calling himself Hueil inhaled deeply, relaxing visibly, now that his errant had been discharged.

Gwen had barely arrived at the eastern gate, when Hueil discharged his message at breakneck speed. Behind her Gaius panted down the battlements, his face red and his long grey hair dishevelled from running down the steep staircase of the main entrance to the keep. Now he had to lean against the gate post to catch his breath. Gwen turned to the messenger and was about to greet him, when Gaius intervened.

“Food? Your lord?” Gaius barked and gesticulated wildly, his hand pointing at a number of empty baskets and crates lined up against the enceinte, Camelot’s defensive walls lining the ramparts.

“Oh yes, Prince Urien arranged for refreshments as a token of his esteem and friendship. He begs you to allow him time to calm his father’s mind. I trust the few trifles my lord sent were to your liking, my lady?” Hueil’s exterior belied his inner refinement. Gaius approved of the man, despite the torn leather breeches, dusty coat of mail and generally unwashed appearance.

One look at his queen told the old physician she also approved of the man and his lord. Gwen beamed a smile of gratitude that would have melted the heart of King Odin himself, Camelot’s grumpiest neighbour. Hueil had clearly been instructed to repeat Urien’s words to the letter…and Prince Urien could have gloated over the citadel’s lack of provisions, but he chose to call the much needed food simply refreshments, as if Queen Guinevere was preparing for a picnic instead of hoarding for a siege.

“Please thank your lord for me and tell him, his gift was warmly received and much appreciated. I’m most grateful for news of my husband and his party. Assure your lord I understand his difficulties completely. Alas, time is something we do not have in abundance. King Leofwine’s ultimatum is impossible for us to meet; your lord must know that. There are no dragons left in any of the five kingdoms – how could we therefore procure a dragon’s heart?”

“My lord is quite aware of your predicament, my lady, but Leofwine insists there is a dragon still at large that must be slain for the greater good of all.”

Gaius had finally regained his breath and was ready to use it. “For the greater good of all…or the greater good of Leofwine? What exactly is your overlord going to do with this hypothetical dragon’s heart? Lay waste to all five kingdoms?”

Gwen dug her elbows into the old man’s ribs. “You must forgive our court physician. The sight of an army encampment outside Camelot makes him nervous; he’s apt to speak his mind a little too freely, when he’s been deprived of his favourite herbs for too long.” Gwen glared at Gaius. “Perhaps your lord and I should meet in person to find a solution together; would that suit my lord Urien?”

It was Hueil’s turn to beam. A smile stole across his stubbly features and his grey eyes lit up. “My lord was hoping you’d propose such a scheme. Your gracious Majesty is too young to have met her, but my lord Urien’s very much like his mother, who was as wise as she was beautiful. When she was alive, the realm of Dunadd was prosperous and at peace with all its neighbours. He’s out on an errant for Leofwine, but as soon as he returns, he’ll send word by my hand. I bid you good day, my Queen.” Hueil bowed deeply and turned to walk back to his encampment.

Gaius stared after the travel-worn man, who strode unhurried down the ramparts and out through the eastern gate. “Urien’s most loyal and trusted man, I’d wager. They can’t have slept a wink after their long ride to Lake Merthur and back. The prince must have sent him straight up here with provisions the moment his father’s back was turned. Hm, interesting. Hueil called you his queen…never once referring to his true overlord as king…or to Dragonara as his queen for that matter. No great love for either of them, I reckon.”

“It shows at any rate, Prince Urien prefers diplomacy to warfare, something I know Arthur will wholeheartedly approve of in a potential ally.”

“Speaking of diplomacy, that was deftly handled, my dear girl. My lord Urien, hehe. Count yourself lucky Arthur wasn’t here to hear that.”

Gwen turned away briskly but not fast enough to hide a touch of pink stealing across her cheeks from Gaius’ keen eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. It was a slip of the tongue, Gaius, nothing more.” She picked up her skirts and lightly tripped up the stairs to walk back up the ramparts and into the main courtyard.

“Slip of the tongue, my foot! Our Gwen’s turning into quite an accomplished little sovereign. Speaking of feet,” Gaius squinted at his swollen toes and sighed, “it’s about time mine got some rest.” He walked back into the main courtyard and selected a quiet spot against the wall of the chapel to watch the comings and goings of the servants. When he had settled comfortably, he pulled off his sandals, took out a leather-bound book from under his cloak and began reading the next passage concerning Dragons and their Ladies, a major work by the notoriously romantic writer Aurelius Smarticus the Younger.

No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on Aurelius and his lusty dragons, Gaius’ mind kept drifting back to the conversation at the eastern gate. Gwen’s willingness to ignore her newly acquired superior rank and give precedence to the prince boded well for the negotiations. More than that, she had shown great skill in allowing Urien to save face. Who’d want to admit their parent was a jealous lunatic, apt to fly off the handle and ride into battle at the slightest provocation?

And what about that curious absence of any reference to Leofwine’s or Dragonara’s rank? Gaius guessed correctly that Urien’s favourite messenger had no respect or feelings of loyalty for either his king or queen. Perhaps in his mind he had already usurped them with a new king, namely his lord Urien? If that should prove the case, it was a circumstance to be exploited. Out there in the camp there might be soldiers baying for Camelot’s blood, but they were mercenaries, men who could be bought. Arthur’s knights and soldiers on the other hand were loyal to a fault. If there was the slightest chance of a revolt by Leofwine’s knights and army, it was something to be promoted by Camelot. Leofwine’s kingdom was vast; with Urien on the throne as Arthur’s ally the four kingdoms surrounding Camelot might stop squabbling over boundary issues and finally be at peace. Arthur could fulfil his destiny and heal the lands, unite the kingdoms and make Albion strong forever.

Healing…it was the essence of the old man’s own heart. Yawning, Gaius became acutely aware of the sun’s rays searing his nose and checked for any blistering on the sore spot Gwen’s radish had left. He wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve and rose slowly to find a shadier spot under a covered walkway, where he slumped down on a stone bench and stared with unseeing eyes into the courtyard; maids hurried by with baskets full of old sheets, which were to be torn into strips to make bandages. A couple of grooms walked slowly up and down with buckets, collecting horse manure to be used in the kitchen gardens, where the gardeners were covering every inch of soil with carrots, cabbages and onions.

Gaius felt slightly ashamed. Had he not been dozing in the sun, when he should be helping Gwen in the last few hours before the siege on the citadel began in earnest? But what could he do – he was just an old man? A healer at that, not a soldier. He was a healer of people’s bones and looked after their insides, not a physician treating a cuckolded king’s hurt pride. To heal the lands, for that they needed Arthur!

Healing Camelot’s leadership was Merlin’s destiny…but how could he heal a realm that had been torn apart by Uther’s relentless persecution of those who had practiced magic and those who still followed the old religion? Gaius rubbed his eyes with his knuckles and yawned…healing powers were such a valuable thing to have…Urien was also in need of healing for his lands. After decades of waging war on his neighbours, Leofwine’s kingdom must be just as exhausted, devastated and in ruins as the realms outside of his borders. What a legacy to leave to his only son!

Gaius started. He stared at Aurelius’ book lying openly across his knees. Dragon’s and their Ladies…dragon queens gave birth to dragons’ eggs…and if the eggs were female…the dragon inside could potentially be another queen and might turn into anything, including a beautiful maiden. Could such a maiden be a threat to Arthur and Gwen’s happiness? He swallowed hard, when the image of a dragon’s egg rose up in his mind.

What about Aithusa, their very own fire-breathing, hiccupping baby dragon, currently making life unbearable for Camelot’s native squirrel population? Gaius weighed up the chances. On the whole he thought Aithusa might be a girl, but not a dragon queen. The egg Merlin had brought back was blue, not golden. Merlin had said the hatchling was completely white, no silver spikes running along its spine. Then there were Arthur’s feelings for Gwen. Could a chance encounter with a mysterious beauty turn his heart? He’d had so little experience of women’s ways, the lack of princesses in neighbouring kingdoms had seen to that. Had Arthur’s heart ever truly recovered from Gwen’s betrayal with Lancelot? Gaius sighed and turned to the next passage in Aurelius’ book. Perhaps Aurelius the expert on romance knew how to heal a broken heart!

This time Gaius sat up straight and knew he had found the answer. Healing powers! A dragon queen could not only heal that which was hurt or injured…she could heal what was barren and dead! Gaius gathered up his tunic and cloak and raced up the stairs taking two steps at once. The two guards at the entrance stared after the old physician, as his bare feet pelted past them and into the keep where his queen was still blissfully unaware of Leofwine’s deadly plans.

At Castle Deira, on a hill facing the moat…

Eleanor dismounted Bede and led him by the bridle down the hill, towards the moat and drawbridge slumbering in the evening mist. He began to whinny and from somewhere nearby that call was answered. “Did you hear that? Hengist is here! We’ve found the right place, Bede, my boy. I bet you’re looking forward to your hay as much as I’m looking forward to a bath and a plate full of stew.” She stroked his nose affectionately and urged him on. “Strange, no welcoming party, no guards at the gate?”

She sauntered downhill past clumps of cornflowers and red poppies, her fingers running over the plump ears of grain that was growing all around her; Bede snatched a few wild flowers, munching happily after their long journey, his huge belly swaying gently alongside the girl. Their combined movement stirred a swarm of flies riding on the balmy air. Eleanor swiped them away impatiently, sending the living cloud straight up into the air, where a passing swift welcomed the unexpected meal. The bird reminded Eleanor it was important to reach the bridge and safety of the castle before the sun set and she gave Bede’s rear an affectionate slap to hurry him along. Once or twice she looked over her shoulder, but did not espy what she had feared to see.

“Looks like we’ve finally shaken off our shadow, my boy. I hope he plunged back to whatever sewer he came from back at Osthryth’s Fort.” She kissed Bede’s neck. “Not that I wish Oswiu any harm, mind, but between you and me, a world without Oswiu in it is a brighter world by far!”

Bede snorted his agreement, prompting Eleanor to perform a happy little dance. Horse and girl were exhausted, they had ridden hard and far to outwit her father’s favourite retainer, finally shaking him off at Osthryth’s Fort, where his horse had met with a small accident during the crossing. As a minor member of the gentry, Oswiu held just one manor with no more than two hides of mainly hilly land that provided barely enough to feed the peasants living there, let alone keep a royal wife in the comfort she was accustomed to. Yet Oswiu’s family had long-held ambitions for their son to rise far above his station. Eleanor had seen him looking at her in a way no king’s retainer should ever dare employ towards a princess of the realm. One time, when Bede had been sick and she had visited him secretly during the night, Oswiu had followed her to the stables and had pressed his case. She had threatened to expose him to the King, but Oswiu had merely laughed and said, girls with mothers like hers should remember their place. Since that day she knew Oswiu lacked the necessary scruples and would not hesitate to take her by force, thus claiming his entitlement to a throne that might soon become vacant, if Leofwine’s self-destructive path continued along the lines as it had done of late.

With Eleanor the monarchy’s bloodline continued by the king’s decree. Leofwine had declared his step-daughter to be a legitimate heir, should any misfortune ever befall Urien. Unlike her own mother, Leofwine had always doted on her from the time she’d been small. Hadn’t Dragonara let it slip often enough how Urien was the result of magic rather than a son born of noble blood? No wonder the king had turned to the child he knew was most decidedly of royal blood. Her father had been King Bicoir of the ancient kingdom of Lot and Queen Dragonara’s bloodline was as old as the Earth itself. Her mother’s reputation might have been tarnished by her entanglement with Nechtan, but noble blood was noble blood in any book on heraldry!

Eleanor stopped her merry dance abruptly. Was that why Urien had kissed her in the cave? In her own mind and to the world at large they might be step-brother and sister, but they were not really related at all. If he took her for his wife…it would appease the barons and nobles of Dunadd, who were on Dragonara’s side, but what about the troops still loyal to Leofwine and the mercenaries he had allowed into the realm?

She breathed in deeply, sucking in the cooler evening air, hoping to bring clarity to her troubled mind. Letting go off the bridle, she permitted Bede to make his own way down to the water’s edge. The tips of her fingers touched her lips as she tried to recall Urien’s kiss. She closed her eyes and was instantly transported back to the scent of his skin and the warmth of his cheek against hers. The cry of a kite plunging out of the red sky into the parched fields below startled her. She opened her eyes and saw Bede had reached the moat and was grazing by the water’s edge. Eleanor hurried down the hill to join him and enter Castle Deira before nightfall.

Concealed in the scrubland that formed the background to the moat to the west Oswiu was busy wrapping a cold compress around his horse’s front leg. The animal had stepped into a water vole’s hole and as a result had gone lame. Unwilling to give up the chase, Oswiu had barely made it to Castle Deira before Eleanor arrived on top of the hill. He patted the compress of mud and wild mustard seeds firmly into place. The mare was shivering, covered in sweat and worn out by pain and exhaustion. Oswiu regarded his horse with a frown, before leading his horse deeper into the thicket. A useless mare, should his quarry decide to flee! When he was certain the horse could not be seen from the moat or bridge, Oswiu crept back to the water’s edge and lowered his body into the moat. He swam across to the reed bed growing closest to the foot of the bridge and waited patiently for his prey to arrive. This time Oswiu wasn’t taking any chances. He knew what a wild-cat Eleanor could be. He’d watched her grow up, watched her tease that boy Urien. Oswiu smiled and drew his dagger.

She certainly had fire in her belly! It was fine by him, but this time she’d not get a chance to stab him again! How she must have congratulated herself, when she got away at the Fort. He suppressed a laugh and ducked lower into the reeds, the cool water refreshing his senses instantly. Her body had felt so warm under his, her mouth defenceless against his lips, her hair smelling of roses and myrrh, her small fists pounding his back. Since that day in the stables he’d been unable to think of anything else. Oswiu’s mouth began to fill with drool, when he recalled the softness of her skin. He laughed. Eleanor was going to be juicier than a ripe peach; this time he’d show her, who was her true lord and master!

Oswiu ducked lower into the reeds and held his breath. Eleanor had reached the water’s edge and was taking Bede’s bridle to mount and head for the bridge.

The man in the moat clamped the dagger between his teeth and rose silently out of the reeds. This time he’d have her, no matter what…

/to be continued…

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin (Part 9)


The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin! (Part 9)

Part 9 was created on 11th and 12th August 2012

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5.

This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part.

The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 29th September. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

In the dungeons at Castle Deira; a small chamber…

The hooded stranger crawled out from under bed and burst out laughing. “Remind me never to take you into battle with me. You’d wipe out all my best knights with that thing!” He scrambled up and fell back on the bed, where he helped himself to a chunk of bread and an onion from the plate on the small wooden chest. He savoured his food wordlessly, before holding up his sword into the light and turning it thoughtfully. Excalibur!

Merlin gasped, allowing the stranger’s friend to hoist him up and put him back onto his feet. Unexpectedly, the bear-like companion released Merlin rather abruptly and propelled him into the stranger’s open arms. Merlin reached out and pulled the hood from the man’s face.


“The very same! Minus his own breeches and armour thanks to a certain useless toad of a servant for whom I truly wouldn’t give a silver penny.” Arthur pulled his servant close and embraced Merlin heartily. “After leaving me stark naked at the lake, you deserve being handed over to the ladies of the house!”

“No thanks, I’ve met them. I’d rather romance a bear!”

“Be careful what you wish for, Merlin.” A wide grin spread across Arthur’s face. “Let me introduce you to my furry friend.”

“Lllleeeeeegggge Mmmmmrrrrlllleeennn!” Arthur’s companion stepped out into the candle light and clouted Merlin on the back. Merlin’s knees gave way and he fell onto the bed, landing half-way across Arthur’s lap.

“On second thought, I might be persuaded to join the ladies upstairs,” Merlin panted and scrabbled back on his feet. “Your woolly friend is a fraction too affectionate for my taste.”

Arthur burst out laughing. “That’s just what the ladies must have said! I found our friend tied to the four-poster bed.”

Merlin rubbed his shoulder. “That’s probably not a bad idea.” He turned and caught a whiff of the creature’s fur. “Phew! I thought the troll leader was pretty fragrant, but THIS – what exactly is THIS, when it’s at home in its own natural habitat? Troll, wild boar or plain old hearth rug on legs?“

Arthur held his belly, roaring with laughter. Merlin couldn’t help himself and burst out laughing, too. Their hairy companion shook his fist at them.


“Good heavens, it speaks!” Merlin wiped a tear from the corner of his eye and cleared his throat. “Did he just call us clot-pole?”

“He’s a fast learner,” Arthur hiccupped between bouts of laughter. “By this afternoon he’ll be calling us dollop-head and know how to hold a sword.”

“Wwwwitcheeees, Aaarrrgggguuurrr.” The creature tore the lady’s scarf from the washstand and started whipping the two friends with it, but it only served to increase their merriment.

“After I had dealt with the lead troll I had a brief look around – the ladies of the house were busy picking herbs in the kitchen garden. No doubt they were trying to make themselves even more appealing for our amorous friend.” Arthur managed to say, when he had relieved Gawain of the scarf. He tied the pretty accessory around his face and pouted, enraging Gawain even more and sending Merlin into fits of helpless laughter.

They stopped laughing when the door was torn open; the three men fell silent instantly. The companion and Arthur sprang to their feet and grabbed hold of their swords, while Merlin pounced on the mace Arthur’s furry companion had taken off him earlier.

“Why don’t we announce our arrival more formally? Let’s blow fanfares and set off fire crackers, shall we?” Dragonara appeared in the doorframe. “You’ve probably alerted the guards from castles in the neighbourhood by now, never mind the trolls of this establishment!”

Two swords and one mace sank to the ground. Dragonara’s stern look did not relent. Arthur regained his wits more quickly than his companions. “We were just…uhm…holding a council of war. Won’t you join us?” He invited her into the chamber and motioned her to take a seat on the bed. “I know this chamber isn’t exactly fit for a queen, but there’s wine and bread!” Arthur held out the tankard to her. She shook her head, but accepted a place on the bed.

“I’ve counted around one hundred trolls guarding this castle. There are no servants or grooms as far as I can tell, just guards. Doesn’t that strike you as strange?” Arthur sat down next to Dragonara and sniffed the tankard’s contents. “Who baked this bread and who fetched the wine?”

Dragonara shook her head. “There’s nothing strange in that. The castle is bewitched.”

“Hm, you seem very certain of your case? Since you brought up the subject of sorcery, you wouldn’t happen to know how I got out of the water and landed in the claw of the catapult on the upper gallery, would you, Godmother dearest? I’m a strong swimmer, but even I can’t propel my body up a tower like a flying fish.”

“Probably all that hot air in your head,” Dragonara reached across him and grabbed the loaf of bread. “It happens a lot to newly crowned kings.” She winked at Merlin and took a bite out of the loaf. “Hmmmm, this is fine bread indeed. Fit for a queen!”

She tore off a chunk and handed it to Merlin. He took it, hesitated and then offered it to the creature, but it shook its head. “Won’t you introduce us to your new friend?”

Arthur cleared his throat and got up. He bowed first to the creature, then to the lady and Merlin. “Apology, m’lady. Let me introduce you to one of Camelot’s finest. The honourable knight, Sir Gawain.”

“Lllleeeeeegggge Mmmmmrrrrlllleeennn!” The honourable monster bowed deeply to Queen Dragonara, before turning to his young servant-friend.

Merlin stared open-mouthed. “Gawain? I don’t believe it! We came to rescue him from torture and all the time he was tied up in a lady’s bedchamber? He was screaming like a…uhm…proverbial stuck pig. Goose feather pillows too hard on your hide, were they?” Merlin exhaled with a grunt, tore into the chunk of bread and chewed with bulging cheeks. Gawain shrugged his shoulders and attempted a grin.

“Has he always been like this or is this a recent development,” Dragonara pointed to Gawain’s bat-like ears and wild-boar snout.

“The jury’s still out on that one,” Arthur grinned. He picked up the tankard once more and was about to drink deeply, when Gawain lunged at him and snatched the tankard out of his hand.

“Oy, get your own, greedy beggar!”

Gawain sniffed the wine, before pronouncing his expert opinion on the vintage: “Wwwwitcheeees, Aaarrrgggguuurrr.”

Dragonara took the wine from him and stuck her nose into the tankard. “He’s right, Arthur, the wine is bewitched. Everyone drinking from it will turn into a creature just like him.”

“Can’t you undo the enchantment…turn him back into Gawain?”

Dragonara shifted uncomfortably on the bed next to him and stared at her feet. “I’m sorry Arthur, I’m not sure that I can.”

“Meaning you can produce spells that send me flying a hundred yards up into the air but you cannot – or will not – help my friend! Sorcerers, you are all the same…self-serving, untrustworthy –“

Dragonara shot up from the bed. “Now wait a minute! Did I say I wouldn’t try?” She glowered at her godson. “Don’t be so quick to judge, it is unbecoming in a king. This whole castle is protected by an incredibly powerful spell, so powerful it may take more than my sorcery to break it.”

Arthur searched her face. “How do you know? Have you already tried?”

Dragonara’s face darkened and she sunk back onto the bed looking like a picture of personified misery. “I know because I was the one who cast the spell with Leofwine’s help.”

Arthur and Merlin stared at her. Gawain growled. She got up and started pacing around the room, wringing her hands and picking at the chunk of bread as she circled the chamber. “It was Leofwine. He tricked me…just like he had tricked the poor girls and their father whose castle this is. You see, he wanted an heir, but his wife was barren. He’d learned that sorcery might help his wife to conceive, so he turned to me…he promised to help me. I was in rather a fix at the time.”

Arthur gasped. “The story you told to the children…I thought you were talking about –“

“I know, you thought I was talking about you and Ygraine…well, that is another story for which now is not the right time. Leofwine had learned that there were three sisters living at the edge of his realm, who dabbled in magic. He tricked Yolanda, the prettiest of the three girls. The girl’s father had kept them not exactly isolated, but well, they were quite innocent and Yolanda believed Leofwine when he told her he’d send his first wife away into exile and marry Yolanda instead. The truth is he needed a woman of noble blood for the spell and he didn’t want to risk his wife’s life. I was the one who was to perform the actual spell to bring about the birth of his heir. In order to create the kind of son he wanted, I needed the blood of true nobility.”

Merlin slapped his forehead. “Now I understand! When Leofwine took his revenge, he also used noble blood for the spell to enchant the castle and its inhabitants. That explains why the sisters sent out their trolls to capture Urien but the guards stupidly abducted us instead. The sisters have been trying to break the spell ever since.”

Arthur got up and joined his godmother in her rounds of the chamber, following her shadow. “Go on, how come his wife ended up dead?”

Merlin interrupted. “A life for a life. That’s the law of magic, remember what the High Priestess Nimueh told Uther?”

“Everything was set up and we were ready to perform the spell. I had certain problems of my own at the time,” Dragonara turned abruptly and eyed Arthur from under her eyelashes, “which we don’t need to go into right now. When Leofwine offered me sanctuary in exchange for the spell, I jumped at the chance. At the last minute, Yolanda’s father found out what Leofwine was planning and intervened, fearing the price for the spell would be his daughter’s life. She withdrew her offer of help. Leofwine tried to persuade the other two sisters, but they laughed in his face, mocking him, saying they wouldn’t want to be his wife if he was the last man on earth.”

She stopped pacing and faced Arthur. “Leofwine was so desperate for an heir; his wars with his neighbours were going badly, he feared without an heir his realm would be vulnerable; he eventually used his beloved wife in the spell. She died giving birth to Urien. Leofwine was beside himself with rage and vowed to take terrible revenge on the three sisters and their father.”

“Why do you think the laws of Camelot forbid the practice of magic?” Arthur had also stopped pacing and challenged his godmother face to face. “Because nothing good’s ever come from using sorcery!”

Dragonara raised her hands and gently cupped his face in her palms. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that, my dear boy.”

Surprised, Arthur submitted to the caress before turning brusquely away. Seeing godmother and god-son standing so closely together, Merlin thought they could have passed for mother and son, they were so similar in their colouring, height and demeanour. Merlin looked from Dragonara to Arthur’s face. For a brief moment he thought two sets of cornflower-blue eyes were gazing back at him. Merlin tried to recall a distant memory involving Morgause and the ghost of Ygraine, but the memory remained as elusive as Dragonara herself, who stood lost in her own thoughts in the middle of the chamber.

He cleared his throat to catch her attention and she turned her face towards him, her eyes as before a deep emerald green. “How do we break the spell that’s enchanted Gawain and this castle, my lady?”

Dragonara opened her mouth to speak but at that very moment an explosion in the chambers above them shattered the peace. Their own chamber shook with the impact of the explosion and several small pieces of masonry fell from the ceiling. They rushed out into the hallway trying to determine where the noise was coming from.

“What’s immediately above us, Merlin, you’ve been up there?”

“It must be the great hall,” Merlin stared at Arthur. “That can only mean one thing, they’ve recaptured Sir Leon and the others and now the women…oh no, crazy old Ethelgunda’s tried to make another brew with my hair.”

Arthur stared at his servant. In the flickering light of Arthur’s candle the two of them looked rather comical, a king wearing troll’s clothing several sizes too large and a servant in a king’s robes that were just as ill-fitting. “Why on earth would the women perform sorcery using your hair? Wearing my cloak and mail shirt seems to have gone to your head, Merlin!”

“If it had, the spell would have been broken by now, wouldn’t it?” Merlin pulled a face and rubbed the spot where Ethelgunda had ripped out his hair. “My blood’s just too rich in natural nobility, that’s why Ethelgunda’s brew hasn’t worked.”

Arthur snorted. “It’s certainly full of something, but I doubt it’s nobility. Horse dung more like it.” He grabbed Merlin’s arm and pushed him in front. “Here, take the candle. Wearing a king’s robes brings not just privileges but also obligations with it. Why don’t you go to the end of this passage and see, if it’s safe to proceed?”

A second explosion rocked the castle, throwing Arthur and Dragonara off their feet and sending Gawain crashing into the wall. Merlin remained upright but dropped the candle, plunging them all into momentary darkness.

“Lunare,” Merlin whispered and the candle’s flame relit instantly. He picked it up and cautiously walked to the end of the passage. The next corridor was deserted. He breathed a sigh of relief. “Come, it’s quite safe.” Merlin stepped into the passageway and disappeared into the darkness. His companions hurried to keep up with him.

“He’s certainly got natural optimism coursing through his veins, I give him that,” Arthur conceded and followed at speed. Above them running feet could be heard and cries echoing along the deserted corridors. “What do the women want with my knights? Try them out one by one for the right degree of noble blood?”

Gawain snorted and Dragonara burst out in a mirthless laugh. “If only, Arthur! Leofwine’s enchantment means the women have to each find a man willing to take their hand in marriage when the sun is up. For a few hours each night the women turn back to their beautiful selves, but when the sun rises they become hags again. The more a man mocks them, the worse the effect of the enchantment will be when they drink the wine.” She pointed at Gawain, whose bat-ears had grown at an alarming speed. “I’m afraid that’s not all. Leofwine’s enchantment means the men eventually become besotted with the hags. He enchanted all the wine in the cellar to make sure the castle guards keep topping up on the magical brew with every meal they take.”

“While the women don’t give two straws for the men!” Merlin had stopped in his tracks to allow the others to catch up. “Now I understand why the trolls stay despite the rough treatment they get. Leofwine wanted to make sure the poor women would never find love…you know, in case one of the trolls falls in love with a hag and vice versa.”

Gawain stood sniffing the stale air in the passage. He pointed excitedly upwards. “Wwwwitcheeees, Aaarrrgggguuurrr.”

Arthur pushed past him, firmly taking Dragonara by the arm. “I don’t fancy seeing another of my knights being turned into a bridegroom with the features of a hog. If truly noble blood can undo the enchantment, the women can have a whole fistful of my hair.”

Dragonara raised an eyebrow. “How very generous of you, my liege. Undoubtedly just one hair from the scalp of Uther’s son will surpass everyone else’s nobility.”

“Don’t take it to heart if yours turns the brew to syrup,” Merlin beamed. “You may be the new king of Camelot, but you’re still the same arrogant dollop-head you always were.”

Arthur clouted his servant’s ears. “Get going, before Gawain here gets engaged to one of those hags.”

The friends raced along the corridors, following the noise. They heard trampling of boots above them, guessing the guards were in hot pursuit of somebody, presumably their friends.

When they reached the great spiral stair case that linked the lower domestic quarters and great hall with the upper floor apartments and turrets, Arthur pushed Dragonara in front of him. “Up you go, godmother dearest. No doubt your magical skin will protect you from anything the sisters might throw at us.”

Dragonara reluctantly set a foot on the stairs and Arthur shoved her up more forcefully. “You and your fine husband got us into this mess. Now that you experience the results of your own sorcery, you don’t seem quite so keen. Afraid to meet with the sisters’ wrath, are you?”

“It’s not that, Arthur. It’s just the dog at the top of the stairs. I’ve always been a cat-person myself.”

Arthur looked up and was greeted by something dribbling on his face. The two-headed beast guarding the top of the great stair case stared down at them with glowing eyes and bared teeth. Arthur sighed. “Just once I’d like to meet a magical creature that doesn’t drool and doesn’t have stinky breath! What I wouldn’t give for something friendly and pretty for a change.”

“Last time you met one of those you shot it, remember?” Merlin was bringing up the rear, making sure Gawain didn’t wander off. “What could possibly be friendlier than a unicorn? This dog is your just reward.”

Arthur grimaced and wiped the snot from his face. He drew Excalibur and pushed past Dragonara, but she held him back. “Don’t kill him. It’s the girls’ father.”

“You’re joking? Fancy having that for a father-in-law!”

Arthur shuddered and set a cautious foot on the next step. The beast growled and took one huge leap onto the next level down. Behind him Merlin clung onto the banisters for support and Gawain raised his sword. Dragonara put her hand on Arthur’s sword arm. “I know I said don’t kill him, but if he comes any closer –“

…/to be continued…

(source of animation:; photo credit Merlin BBC official facebook page)


Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 8)

For those of you who are keen to read the next chapter in this epic adventure…here’s chapter eight!

BTW, for people who haven’t watched the BBC’s hit show before: the writers made up some harmless swearwords for Merlin to use, so the show could be aired at 6pm for kids to watch with their parents…dollop-head and clot-pole being two of them:)

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part.

The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the UK on 29th September. Latest BBC trailers and pictures are available at:

part 8 created 8th and 9th August 2012

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin (Part 8)

By the moat, outside Castle Deira….

Startled by the noise, Eliffer awoke and rubbed his eyes. “Where are we? Where’s Eleanor?” Yawning, he used the stirrup to balance himself and slid from the saddle like an eel trying to escape from a fisherman’s basket. He landed head first on the ground next to Hengist and the animal, now free to do as it pleased, began to graze on the embankment.

Dragonara stood at the outer edge of the reed bed and stared into the water. On the drawbridge across the moat a dark-haired boy was doing just the same. Eliffer ran to his protector and put an arm around her waist. “Who’s that boy over there?”

Absentmindedly, Dragonara wrapped her arm around Eliffer’s shoulders and sighed. “THAT’s no boy, Eliffer. THAT, if I’m not very much mistaken, is none other than Merlin.”

“Erm…are there two?” Eliffer’s eyes widened. “A blonde and a dark-haired one…does the King of Camelot call all his servants Merlin to keep things simple?”

Dragonara threw her head back and laughed. “I bet Arthur wished he’d thought of that!”

“In that case, our Merlins are either two sides of the same coin or a famous double act from Odin’s court!” Eliffer grinned. “Eleanor tells me some courts keep excellent jesters.”

“Don’t you mean master and servant from Camelot?”

“But which is which, my lady?”

“Good question, Eliffer,” Dragonara finally detached her gaze from the water’s edge and directed it towards the drawbridge, where Merlin had picked up a lance and attempted to fish for the embroidered shirt still floating in the moat. The dark-haired boy managed to impale the garment and lifted the dripping shirt out onto the bridge where it landed with splash.

“He’s got Eleanor’s blouse! But…didn’t the other Merlin wear it earlier?”

“Yes Eliffer; I fear King Arthur’s as slippery as a snake. Now he’s shed his unwanted servile skin, he’s slithered off somewhere…but where?”

The goings-on at the water’s edge enraged a kingfisher trying to hunt for fish on the other side of the moat. An azure flash of light shot through the air and he was gone – to the obvious relief of a dragonfly, which soared up from the morning mist among the reeds, its incandescent wings reflecting the shimmering water below and the blue sky above.

Becoming fully aware of woman and boy for the first time, Merlin gave a hesitant wave and Dragonara waved back. Uncertain, if he should go to her or return to the castle to search for Arthur, whose pale body he’d seen shoot through the moat as fast as a pike pursuing a juicy three-spine stickling, Merlin decided to stay where he was and let the lady come to him. Unfortunately, the lady had just decided on the same cautious action and they’d reached a stalemate before introductions had even begun.

It was Hengist who took the initiative. He had detected the scent of freshly baked bread on the morning breeze. Unable to resist the temptation, Hengist erroneously identified Merlin as the source of such culinary delights and galloped towards the drawbridge. Merlin saved himself from being trampled by jumping over the railing and clinging on to the sides, where he remained dangling just a couple of feet above the water, while above him Hengist whinnied to express his disappointment and raced off on his quest for food. The horse’s hooves cluttered across the drawbridge, through the gate and past the raised portcullis into the outer courtyard.

“Noooooo! Hengist, stupid boy, come here!” Eliffer ran onto the drawbridge in pursuit of his horse. Dragonara had no choice but to follow.

“Now what?” Merlin scratched his thatch of hair and gawped after the boy. When he saw the lady approach at some speed, he hoisted himself up and over the railing. She had been faster than he had anticipated and they collided. He landed with a thud at Dragonara’s feet, while the lady had to steady herself by holding on to the bridge’s palings. Merlin scrambled up and bowed deeply, but the lady seemed oblivious to his presence. She stared at a point beyond his prostrate figure and the soggy shirt he was still holding in his hand. Merlin flashed a radiant smile up at her and hoped for the best. Time seemed to stand still; the shirt made a puddle on the bridge, the sun rose a little higher, the mist across the moat vanished, while Dragonara’s green eyes kept staring into space.

Merlin coughed politely, straightened to his full height and this time held out his hand to assist the lady across the bridge. “You must be Arthur’s godmother. I’m his servant Merlin. At your service, Your Majesty.” Dragonara ignored both hand and servant.

“Be still, you worm!” She cried. Two reed-warblers nesting in the reed bed below Merlin discontinued their chirpy song; a couple of sedge warblers darted up into the air and tweeted excitedly. Merlin started and dropped his outstretched hand. The lady’s response was not what he had expected. Instead of a polite nod or queenly hand gesture Merlin was greeted by blazing eyes and flaring nostrils. Had he offended her in some way?

She raised her hand and he was about to duck a blow, when he realised, she was aiming at a spot behind him. He turned quickly and caught his breath when he spotted an outstretched arm clutching a dagger.

One of the semi-conscious trolls littering the bridge behind him had reached up to stab Merlin’s thigh. Dragonara’s eyes lit up as she muttered her incantation. “Time to rest your eyes, little worm.” The troll’s head sank back on his chest and he fell asleep instantly, collapsing in a heap.

“You’ve got magic!”

“So do you, boy!” Dragonara inclined her head towards the sleeping troll and the bump growing on his forehead. “I saw how you made the armour dance to save your master.”

Merlin shook his head. “That was child’s play. You saved Arthur! He’d have drowned, if you hadn’t –“

“Don’t count your princelings before they’re safely back at home. We’ve no idea if Arthur’s safe. For all I know my spell might have transported him straight into that catapult’s claw up there on the gallery.” Dragonara ducked with an expression of mock consternation. “If the uppermost gallery was guarded, your king could be hurtling past our ears at any moment.”

Merlin shaded his eyes and gazed up to the castle’s mangonel. After a moment’s contemplation he shook his head decisively. “Nope, Arthur hasn’t discovered the joys of air travel, yet. Seriously though, thank you! I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t –“

“From what I hear you’re quite a resourceful young man; I’m sure you would have thought of something to save Arthur’s hide, no matter how ungrateful my godson might be in his response.”

Merlin grimaced. “Ah, he knows about your magic?”

“If he wasn’t sure before, he is now! Heavens above, I haven’t performed such a powerful spell for years. He shot through the water with the speed of a lightning bolt. Can’t have done his handsome features any good! Perhaps it would’ve been kinder to let him drown?”

“Arthur’s got a hard head on his shoulders; I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Merlin scratched his nose. “You won’t…I mean…he doesn’t know about my practicing –“

“What? Washing my daughter’s shirts in the moat?” Dragonara smiled and took the dripping blouse from his hands. “Your secret’s safe with me, Merlin. On that you have my word. Which reminds me, our other mutual and equally magical secret…did he send word? I assumed Kilgharrah had arranged for an official escort from Camelot to meet me by the lake, when Arthur turned up.” Her face assumed an air of joyful reminiscence. “Not quite the formal rescue party I had expected. Of course, it’s not the first time a king has greeted me in his birthday suit, but it’s usually after and not before we’ve had dinner.” Dragonara giggled, when Merlin’s eyebrows disappeared into his fringe.

He felt blood rising to his cheeks and hastily fished for the scroll of parchment in his – or rather Arthur’s – cloak. He handed the scroll to Dragonara. “Arthur received this. You know of Kilgharrah?”

“Oh yes, scaly head and I are old, old friends.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “You’ve been to Camelot…before or after Ygraine’s death? Forgive my curiosity. It’s just…nobody’s ever mentioned you since I’ve been at court.”

“You mean, how could a sorceress walk away unscathed from Uther’s kingdom? Ask your friend Kilgharrah. I last saw Arthur on the day he was born. He’s not turned out too badly considering his paternal credentials. Guinevere’s a lucky girl. None of my royal husbands were ever blessed with such…uuhm…regalia.”

She threw back her head and laughed so heartily, the silver hair pin holding her red-blonde mane fell out and her long hair began tumbling down over her shoulders and purple cloak. Merlin hurriedly bent down to pick up the hair pin and held it out to her with an unsteady hand. She dropped her daughter’s wet shirt and took the richly decorated pin from him with an amused air, her fingers brushing his for a moment. He withdrew respectfully and she lifted her arms, twisting her long tresses into a bun before securing her unruly mane with the pin. Merlin followed the graceful, upward motion of her slender arms with his eyes and wondered briefly, what she might look like in her queenly robes and wimple, sitting on a throne. He’d never met anyone who looked less like a godmother, let alone a mother and stay-at-home wife. To his astonishment he felt her gaze travelling up and down on his own person and realised she was assessing him just as much as he was trying to gauge her. When their gaze met, Merlin felt his ears burn. Dragonara flashed a smile at him and strode off to the other side of the bridge.

He picked up the dripping shirt once more and quickly turned around to wring out the garment. Eyeing her over his shoulder, he could see she was highly diverted by his embarrassment. Dragonara started to uncurl the scroll, but before she had a chance to look at the message, Eliffer had re-appeared at the gate and asked them to hurry. She handed the parchment back to Merlin, who stuffed wet blouse and parchment into his shirt and they ran as fast as the scattered bodies on the bridge would allow them. Out of breath, they joined Eliffer at the foot of the gatehouse.

The boy pointed excitedly to one of the flanking towers. “Up there by that tower, where the flag was just a moment ago! I saw him! The other Merlin’s safe!”

Doubtful of Eliffer’s interpretation of the word “safe”, Merlin squinted upwards, but the flag and whoever the boy had seen were no longer there.

“You’ve been imagining things, boy. There’s nobody there.” Dragonara laid an arm around the boy’s shoulder and sighed. “Let’s find Hengist and see what kind of welcome we’ll get inside.”

“Judging by the look of them,” Eliffer pointed at the stricken trolls littering the outer courtyard, “the welcome might be a little subdued.”

Hengist waited patiently for them in the stables. He had discovered a stack of hay and was contently munching his way through a considerable amount of it. When they entered, he swiped away a fly with his long tail and whinnied a greeting. Merlin couldn’t help but admire the black beast. He ran his hands over Hengist’s sweaty back and vaguely regretted having knocked out the trolls earlier. The stables were full to bursting point with the guards’ and the knights’ horses. Having a groom would be handy, even if he was a troll and stank to high heaven!

As if reading his mind, Dragonara instructed Eliffer to take care of Hengist and to secure the knights’ horses. She told him of a hiding place nearby and left him in possession of her own sword. After some initial protests at not being allowed to join the quest for Arthur and his men, Eliffer acknowledged the advantages of her scheme. He had discovered the stables were adjacent to animal pens, where happy chickens had produced a considerable number of eggs just waiting to be turned into breakfast.

Pressing his body into a spot of shade by the gatehouse wall, Merlin waited in the outer courtyard. He squinted up into the bright sky and wondered how long the weather would hold. It was only an hour past dawn, but the sun’s rays had already burned off the mist rising up from the moat and surrounding fields. He wiped a bead of sweat from his upper lip and turned to find suitable weapons for the lady and himself. Selecting an old-fashioned broad sword and a mace from an unconscious guard, Merlin and Dragonara hurried across the courtyard and dived into the nearest dark entrance and down a set of stairs in search of Arthur and his men.

They found themselves in a long, badly-lit corridor which was in as bad a condition as the courtyard and towers. Dust reigned everywhere and cobwebs clung to the moth-eaten tapestries on the walls. Merlin managed to suppress the urge to sneeze, but was eventually startled into a loud nasal explosion, when a rat raced across his feet and shot down a gap in the flagstones. Dragonara shook her head, raising a finger to her lips. “Do you want the guards to find us?”

“I couldn’t help it. There was a rat.” Merlin whispered back and followed her down the stairs into the next gloomy corridor. “Haven’t they heard of wall sconces or torches? The death rate among their servants must be high; you could break your neck on these rotten stairs.”

His companion answered with a stifled squeal. “Why don’t we just holler for the guards?” Merlin snorted. Dragonara grimaced and lifted her foot; she’d trodden on an enormous bug, its slimy entrails stuck to the sole of her boot.

“Lunare.” She pointed a finger at a couple of lances hanging on an adjacent wall. They lit up like torches and Dragonara handed one to Merlin, who took the torch with a frown.

“The one time I can practice magic openly and I forget!”

“I guess you were too busy playing with rats.”

“No, I got distracted by somebody squealing like a little girl at the sight of a bug.”

Progressing more quickly than Merlin, who kept his eyes to the ground in case anymore rats or giant bugs made an appearance, Dragonara won the lead and disappeared down an even narrower hallway, before Merlin could catch up with her. Merlin shuddered. The passage stank of rat urine and he called after Dragonara to turn back, but he saw her torch disappear at the end of the corridor and turn left. Disregarding the threat of rat attack, he hurried after her, squishing several prize specimens of bugs under his boots as he made his way along the hallway.

He was just passing a heavily studded door at the far end of the corridor, when a strong arm shot out and grabbed Merlin’s wrist, forcing him to follow the arm’s owner into a small chamber. Before Merlin could turn or call out, somebody had clamped a hand over his mouth; Merlin struggled for breath. He tried to wriggle free but succeeded merely in the man pinching his nose between index finger and thumb, bringing tears to Merlin’s eyes and cutting off his air completely.

When the man finally released his nose, Merlin wasn’t sure, if he should be grateful or not. The chamber stank of sweat, rat droppings and ale. Across the room somebody lit a candle and placed it on the floor. The faint light revealed an unmade bed and a couple of over-sized slippers together with a small opening that doubled up as a window into the next corridor. It appeared to be the only source of ventilation. A tattered mail shirt and hose had been flung across the bed and on the wash stand by the door Merlin noticed a water pitcher, bowl and something that looked very much like a lady’s scarf. On a small wooden chest, next to the bed, Merlin spotted a plate with bread, onions and cheese. His stomach gave an involuntary growl. A half-full tankard of wine and a flask had been left behind by the rightful occupant of the chamber, too. In the furthest corner of the room a shadow detached itself from the wall and came slowly towards Merlin. Were these Unding’s private quarters? Had the lead troll finally caught up with him?

The shadow came closer, temporarily blocking out the candle. The man holding him tightened his grip across Merlin’s mouth. Merlin grunted with the effort to break free. The man’s other arm reached across Merlin’s chest and held him with such force, it threatened to squeeze the remaining air out of his lungs.

“I’ll remove my hand, if you keep quiet. Make a sound and you’ll regret it.” A muffled voice hissed into his ear. He felt the man’s hot breath on his neck. Merlin managed to nod his head. The man removed his hand and pushed Merlin roughly into the middle of the chamber, where the dark shadow caught him and held him with a bear-like grip that could have crushed Merlin at any moment. Merlin raised his chin defiantly and peered into the darkness.

“Now what? Your feisty friend breaks my spine?” Merlin felt his limbs go numb. “Or is he going to hand me over to the three fat women in the hall?”

“Not unless you want him to!” The man, who had nearly choked him, now stood with his back to the door. He was wearing an oversized cloak and a coat of mail beneath; his features were hidden by a hood. “Before I decide what to do with you, my friend here will help you to decide what’s good for you. I’m looking for something and you look like the fellow with all the answers.”

“Can’t be much fun working for the three crones?” Merlin took another approach. “My master’s rich, if it’s gold you want in exchange for my life? I’m his favourite servant. You could leave this place and start over somewhere else.”

The man snorted. Merlin tried to get a better look, but his attacker had drawn the hood over his face. The stranger took a step towards Merlin, who shrank back, only to be gripped even tighter by the stranger’s companion. When the two sides of the stranger’s cloak parted, Merlin caught the gleam of a sword. The man came closer still and pointed his gloved finger at Merlin’s face.

“A favourite servant, you don’t say!” The man tapped Merlin’s forehead with his finger. “You’ve got the words LAZY and USELESS written all over your face. No master would give a single penny for such an underling! Then again, who knows, the ladies upstairs might find a use for you!”

Something in the tone of that hoarse voice caught Merlin’s ear. “I’m not really in the mood for romance right now; perhaps introductions to your three ugly sisters could wait?”

“I’ve only got one sister and she’s far too much of a handful for the likes of you!”

“You’d be surprised what I can handle!” Merlin muttered under his breath. As if to prove him wrong, the man’s silent companion pushed Merlin back into the stranger’s arms and the two men found some amusement tossing Merlin back and forth between them, until Merlin used his full weight to step on the man’s toes. Merlin shot across the room and tried to get to the door, but the stranger’s companion was too quick and blocked his way.

“Aw, it fights back!” The hooded stranger hobbled across the room and dropped onto the bed. He rubbed his foot and grunted. “We’d better watch our step, my friend. He might be pulling our hair next.”

The companion by the door emitted a howl, which Merlin assumed was meant to be laughter. Standing in the middle of the chamber, Merlin looked around hoping to spot the mace he’d had earlier, which the stranger had confiscated, when he’d drawn him into the room. Trying to gain time, Merlin pointed at the stranger’s silent companion. “He doesn’t say much, does he?”

“Don’t you believe it! Given half a chance, there’s no shutting him up. Now, listen. There’s something I’ve lost and I want it back. Are you going to help me or do I have to apply a suitable inducement first?” The hooded stranger’s voice had become menacing again. He drew his sword and placed it on the bed next to him. “What would your master say if he saw you now? Idling away the day in a castle full to bursting point with eager ladies…when you should be polishing his armour and sharpen his sword.”

“My master would say you talk too much, you puffed up dollop-head!” Merlin had spotted the mace and pounced on it, before the silent companion had a chance to dash across the room. Merlin raised his arm and swung the mace around. Alarmed, the stranger dropped to the flagstones and dived under the bed. The silent companion lunged at Merlin, who brought down the mace with force, but missed his intended target. He had smashed the washstand in half instead of hitting the bed. There was no chance of swinging the mace again – the bear-like grip of the silent companion wrought the mace from Merlin’s hands and sent him crashing down to join the hooded man on the floor.

…/to be continued…

(source of animation:, BBC photograph from Facebook Official Merlin site)

Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing Begin (Part 7)


It’s a such a long time until the show airs again, so here’s a little more Merlin Fan Fiction for everyone. Hope you’ll enjoy reading it, I’m certainly having fun writing it during my lunch hour.

Since I don’t have “novelist’s software” that magically pulls all the strands of my story together, I’m having to keep all the different bits of action in my poor old head. I need a BBC production team to co-ordinate this, methinks! Time lines are the most difficult things to remember. Who’s where at what time of the day or night…and how long is a ride from Camelot to Castle Deira as mentioned in chapter one….yeiks!

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5. This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

From left to right: Guinevere, Gaius, Morgana,...

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired in the  UK on 29th September.

Part 7 was created on 5th August 2012

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing Begin (part 7)

In the great hall at Castle Deira….

“You take the women. We’ll tackle the trolls!”

Sir Leon dropped his sword by a fraction and stared at his friend Elyan. “Which is which?”

“The trolls are less lumpy in their upper regions,” suggested Percival helpfully, before smacking a troll over the head with the broadside of his sword. The troll grunted, shook his head and attacked afresh.

“I can’t fight the women! I’m no good at hair pulling and biting. That’s what we’ve got Merlin for. Where is he by the way?” Sir Leon stood on his toes to peer over the heads of their attackers. A troll guard used his chance and kicked Sir Leon in the shins.

“Ouch! Was that manly, you lout? I might as well be fighting the girls!” Affronted, Sir Leon rubbed his leg with his left hand and dealt the troll a blow with his right. The guard staggered back, turned in mid-air and fell headlong into a fresh wave of trolls arriving from another part of the castle. “Any more of you ladies fancy a piece of my action?” Sir Leon challenged the troll next in line for a pummelling.

The guards had driven the knights into a corner of the great hall, where the friends stood back to back with their swords raised. Sir Leon’s head wound had started bleeding again and Sir Elyan’s cheek was marred by a nasty gash. The hall was filling up with trolls and the knights were too busy repelling their attackers to notice the three sisters, who were lighting another fire under the cauldron.

Sir Elyan grabbed a scaly arm and ducked, narrowly averting a blow from the troll’s mace. “Actually, that’s a good point, Leon. Our Merlin may not be a fighter, but he never misses the chance to fraternise with the locals. I’d call this a golden opportunity – so where is the lad?”

“Merlin was in the courtyard with me, before he ran onto the drawbridge. Arthur’s here…last seen enjoying a swim in the moat,” Percival panted, deftly parrying a sword attack by two huge trolls. “He must be with Arthur.”

Elyan punched a guard squarely between the eyes. “What’s Arthur playing at? They’d better not be sitting on the drawbridge with a fishing rod, when we get out of here!”

“Don’t you mean…IF?” Ethelgunda had parted the horde of trolls with a flick of her head and approached the knights. “Your friends Arthur and Merlin will be taken care of, don’t you fret, just as we took care of your friend Gawain. You might as well stop all this nonsense now. Look around you! Sooner or later all men who come here join our little family.” She glanced around the hall with a benign smile. “Don’t we take good care of you, my pets?” The troll guards nodded to a man, albeit after a moment’s hesitation, which didn’t escape Sir Leon’s notice.

“What do you mean…all MEN?” Sir Leon pointed at the ugliest of the trolls. “That fellow over there is even uglier than our cook at Camelot and that’s saying something. You’ll not convince me that’s a man! Just look at his tufty ears.”

Marigold and Yolanda risked a few steps forward. “We’re not to blame, if they turn out looking like that. It’s their own fault! The more they mock us, the uglier they turn out in the end. That’s the curse, don’t you see?”

Marigold twisted a strand of hair between her fingers and pouted. She eyed the knights one by one until her glance came to rest on Percival, who retreated to the safety of his circle of friends, but he wasn’t fast enough. Marigold darted forward, reached out and patted his biceps. “Oh my goodness, aren’t you a strong one?”

Seeing the blood rise to his friend’s cheeks, Sir Leon intervened. “Look, we can stand here all day and decimate your troll herd or you can let us go, your choice,” he detached Marigold’s probing fingers from Percival’s chest. “Just give us back our friends and we’ll go quietly.”

“You don’t understand. Even if we wanted to…we can’t. Nobody leaves this castle as they were, once they’ve set foot in it!” Yolanda sighed and looked Sir Leon straight in the face. “We’re cursed and with it every man who falls for our charms.”

Percival snorted. “Charms?” Marigold’s stare seared him like a branding iron; he recovered his wits and coughed. “Uhm…I meant to say…surely three charming young ladies like you couldn’t possibly be cursed. Who’d do such a thing?”

“Leofwine!” The three sisters replied as one.

“Who’s he when he’s at home?” Sir Elyan wiped the sweat from his face. “Don’t tell me he’s the woolly-headed creature we’ve just tied up in my lady’s bedchamber?”

Ethelgunda chortled and walked slowly back to the hearth, where her cauldron had begun to steam. “King Leofwine and his second wife Dragonara, who is godmother to your King Arthur, are both sorcerers. It’s thanks to them we’re in this sorry state.”

“We’re going to be saved now, aren’t we, sister?” Marigold beamed at Percival before Yolanda pulled her away from the circle of swords.

Ethelgunda responded with a mirthless cackle. “We’ll see.” She reached out and sprinkled some of Merlin’s hair into the bubbling broth of her cauldron. “Let’s not get our hopes up, just yet.”

Like the night before the broth started to boil and spit; smoke rose up and an explosion followed that nearly shattered their ear drums. The three sisters were flattened by the impact of the blow and landed on their backs several yards from the hearth. Some trolls were hit by falling masonry and the rest abandoned their siege and left the friends to their fate. Ethelgunda lunged at a fleeing leg and brought the traitor down. The troll hit the ground, nearly blinding Yolanda with his dagger. Yolanda clouted him on the back until he rolled off her and both troll and sister were able to rise. The troll mumbled an apology, but Ethelgunda barked a string of insults at the hapless guard and he hurried off to stop his fellow guards from leaving.

Black smoke filled the hall and Sir Leon urged his friends towards the door, but they had missed their chance; it was once again blocked by guards who had turned to come to their mistresses’ aid. Ethelgunda and Yolanda had already scrambled to their feet, but Marigold was still buried under a piece of masonry.

Disregarding their stricken sister, Ethelgunda and Yolanda bounced back to the cauldron and the elder sister threw the remainder of Merlin’s hair into the steaming liquid. “This will be a brew that’ll make your eyes water, boys!” Yolanda screamed over the din in the hall.

Ethelgunda gave the cauldron’s contents a stir and sniffed the rising smoke. A jet of brown liquid shot straight up into the air and hit her in the face. She squealed with pain and dropped the ladle, spattering everyone around her with the broth. The cauldron began to shake and tremble. Ethelgunda danced around the hall, howling loudly, her hands pressed to her face, while Yolanda picked up the ladle and gave the broth another stir.

A second spout shot up; however, this time the cook was prepared and Yolanda stepped smartly out of the way. The liquid landed back in the cauldron with a splash. A rumbling followed, which turned into a growl that resembled an angry bear about to attack. Everyone was staring at the hearth, waiting with baited breath for the next blow. When the growl turned into a thunderous roar, a second explosion followed and this time it brought down the rest of the marble mantelpiece and part of the ceiling. Men, trolls and sisters were either knocked off their feet by falling masonry or flattened by oak panels that came off the walls and shot across the hall like missiles. Everyone was covered in broth.

When the smoke began to clear, Sir Elyan scrambled to his feet and wiped the liquid off his nose. “Phew, that’s worse than Gawain’s socks!” He put a finger to his mouth and tried the stuff. “Hmmm, it tastes far better than it smells. Just like Merlin’s stews…but without the bits of rabbit fur to spoil the texture.”

Sir Leon rushed over and tore Elyan’s hand away. “Don’t! It might be poison or worse…witchcraft! You could end up looking like one of them.” The sweep of Sir Leon’s hands included both the sisters and the trolls buried under the rubble.

“Don’t fret! The worst it’ll do is put some hairs on your chest.” First to regain her wits, Yolanda picked up a piece of marble and hurled it at the knights. “Ethelgunda’s potions never work out.” She started sobbing. “We’ll be stuck here forever!”

Marigold was beginning to regain consciousness and sat up in a puddle of broth. Her dusty hair was glued to her face, the page of a book stuck to the back of her head. She began to wail. “Forever? I can’t bear it…I just caaaaaaaaan’t!”

Several of the trolls stood rooted to the spot and stared at the sisters with open mouths. One troll tip-toed over to Marigold and tried to put his arm around her shoulders, but she shook him off and punched him on the nose, continuing her wailing undeterred. Sir Leon shook his head. Why did the trolls bother with the sisters? It was ludicrous given the treatment they received in return. Meanwhile, Percival seized his opportunity and began fighting his way through to the door. He knocked out three trolls but was instantly surrounded by more.

Sir Leon came to his rescue and yelled: “Watch our backs, Elyan!”

“Will do…just as soon as I’ve helped this lovely lady back on her feet,” Elyan grinned back at his friends and sauntered over to Marigold, who stopped wailing and stared at Elyan’s face instead. He pulled her up roughly, slung her over his shoulder in one swift motion and used her legs as a battering ram to create a corridor wide enough for him and his friends to reach the door. Trolls were scattered left and right, as Marigold’s feet and buttocks collided with shoulders and heads. She screamed in protest but Elyan took no notice, no matter how hard her fists pounded the back of his legs.

The knights made it out of the door and down the dark corridor in one piece, but a horde of guards pursued them, forcing the friends, screaming Marigold and all, to hurtle down a flight of stairs and flee into the bowels of the castle.

“I have a feeling they’re driving us down into the dungeons!” Elyan panted under Marigold’s weight. He’d finally caught up with his friends.

Sir Leon turned his head but didn’t slow his pace. “Let’s not give them the pleasure. If we can make it out into the courtyard and to the stables…look! How about that set of stairs, where’ll it take us?” He pointed at a spiral staircase leading up, rather than down. Sir Leon stopped in his tracks without warning and half turned, causing Percival and Elyan to run straight into him at speed. Thanks to the force of their collision Elyan dropped his battering ram. Marigold squealed in protest; her head collided with a statue of Saint Winifred the Placid, lurking by the stairs. She tried to crawl away, but was too slow and Elyan’s boot pinned her to the flagstones.

He looked down at the prostrate woman and grimaced. “First time ever I’m grateful to a monk for depriving me of a woman.” Elyan rubbed the back of his legs. “The lady’s stronger than she looks.”

“Stop flirting and tell me, which way’s our best chance of escape!” Sir Leon turned and gasped. He stared at his friend. “What’s happened to your face?”

“What?” Elyan carelessly ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m just as dusty as you are and if I’m a little sweaty…well, so would you be, if you had to carry this…erm,” Elyan bent down and hoisted Marigold up by her girdle,“…delightful burden.” He shifted her weight on his shoulder and slapped her bottom to keep her still. She retaliated by biting his thigh. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go before this greedy woman takes another chunk out of me!”

Percival pushed past Leon, took the first couple of steps, hesitated, turned around and reached with one arm across Sir Leon’s head. “This is dust, is it, Elyan?” He grabbed the knight’s nose between index finger and thumb, pulling a long strand of hair up into the air. “I can’t wait to see Arthur’s face when he discovers you’re sporting a golden nose beard.”

Elyan squinted cross-eyed at the glittering strand of hair growing from his beak. “What the hell is THAT?”

“THAT, my uncivil knight, is the curse! You’re turning into one of them!” Marigold pointed at Unding, who had just appeared at the top of the stairs. “Unding, don’t just stand there gawping. Chop their heads off!”

“With pleasure, my lady!” Unding lunged forward and thundered down the stairs. “I’ve just about had my fill of uninvited guests today!”

Behind them in the corridor the guards were catching up.

“Damn! We’re trapped!”

“No, we’re not, Leon! On three, Percival! One…two…three!” Elyan tore Marigold off his shoulder and hurled her at the guards behind them. Her unexpected arrival in their arms sent the men flying; a confusion of troll arms and legs flattened Marigold and knocked her out.

Clearly not wishing to be outdone by his friend, Percival stretched out his arm, taking full advantage of Unding’s speedy descent down the stairs. The impact of Unding’s nose on Percival’s fist sent blood splashing across the walls. The leader of the trolls tumbled down the final steps and landed on my lady Marigold, where he lost consciousness among her ample bosoms.

“At least he had a soft landing!” Percival grinned. “Let’s not hang around to find out what the lady thinks of his advances.” He bounded up the spiral stair case with his friends in hot pursuit.

Thanks to the gloom in the bowels of Castle Deira none of the friends noticed a door being opened at the far end of the corridor. A hooded man stepped outside and considered the carnage at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, before grabbing a torch from one of the wall sconces. He turned back towards the half-open door and motioned to the inmates of the chamber to follow him.

Stepping over the unconscious bodies, the hooded man and his two companions crept silently towards the lowest part of the castle, where the wine cellar, dungeons and torture chamber were waiting to be used as her ladyship Ethelgunda pleased.

The three men reached a heavily studded oak door with carvings that seemed older than the castle itself. The hooded man reached out with a gloved hand and tore at the door’s handle. The door opened with a great deal of protest, squeaking so alarmingly, the men feared it would come off its hinges. It remained intact, however, and the men stole down a set of stairs that was as dark as the catacombs below Camelot. At the end of the stairs the men turned right and followed a dark passageway into the very heart of the castle. They came to another door, even older than the one on the floor above; this one was covered in runes.

“We’ve arrived, my friends!” The leader pulled the door open and raised his torch. The swift movement caused his hood to slide from his head and fall to his shoulders. He ignored it and stuck his torch into the chamber. The dancing flame lit up his face and blonde hair as if he had a halo. He turned and motioned his companions to enter the chamber. “Over there, let’s grab it and get out of here! For heaven’s sake don’t open it, whatever you do!”

English: Uther Pendragon, father of King Arthu...

English: Uther Pendragon, father of King Arthur, by Howard Pyle, from The Story of King Arthur and His Knights by Howard Pyle, Charles Scribners, New York, 1903. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

../to be continued…


Merlin Fan Fiction: Let the Questing begin! (Part 6)

Since I won’t have much time for blogging this weekend, here’s the latest instalment of my multi-stranded, epic Merlin and King Arthur Adventure a little earlier than usual. Hope you’ll enjoy it.

Next blog  will be about ” How to build your own Castle”! Relax, it’s not Pierrefonds Castle as a flatpack from IKEA!

Maria Thermann’s fan fiction “Merlin” (BBC series) sees the action set between seasons 4 and 5.

This piece of fiction is written purely as a fun writing exercise and was not created with the intention of any commercial exploitation on my part. The copyright for all BBC Merlin series characters & storylines remains with the BBC and Shine Ltd, the producers of the show.

The show stars Colin Morgan (Merlin), Bradley James (King Arthur), Angel Coulby (Guinevere), Richard Wilson (Gaius), Katie McGrath (Morgana), Rupert Young (Sir Leon), Eoin Macken (Gwaine), Tom Hopper (Sir Percival), Adetomiwa Edun (Sir Elyan), John Hurt as the voice of the Great Dragon Kilgharrah and Anthony Head as King Uther. Series 5 to be aired this autumn in the UK, trailer already running on BBC.

Part 6 was created on 1st August 2012.

The Honeymoon is over – Let the Questing begin!

If it hadn’t been for the ancient arrow slit, he’d be dead now! Only a few more lengths and Arthur would have made it to the top floor window, but the old flag had given way with a protesting screech. Arthur had only just managed to cling to the side of the tower. He watched the torn flag flutter down into the moat below, upsetting a couple of rooks on the way down.

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!” The taunts from the strange creature above kept coming, but Arthur continued his ascent, disregarding the monstrous head hovering above him. The thing looked like a cross between a boar and a Behemoth!

When he was only a few lengths from the monster’s head, Arthur clamped both his feet into an arrow slit and drew Excalibur. He pointed his sword at the creature, while the fingers of his other hand tested the tower’s surface for any kind of opening or crack that would give him some leverage. After a few moments Arthur admitted defeat. At this upper part of the tower, there were no more cracks or openings, where a strong hand could find leverage and pull up the body of a man. Clinging to the side of a tower while wearing nothing more than a boy’s hose and a lady’s scarf was bad enough, but being insulted by a woolly-headed monster at the same time was taking things a step too far. Arthur sighed and thought of Gwen, who’d probably be highly amused by the situation. He wondered briefly, if he’d ever see her again. Now that the sun was up, the force of the rays was beginning to take its toll and he grunted with the effort of holding on to the side of the tower. With the back of his sword hand Arthur managed to wipe a few beads of sweat of his brow and squinted into the bright sky. The silence from above caught his attention. The monstrous head had disappeared!

Arthur’s relief was short-lived, for the monster reappeared presently and hurled something out of the window. Arthur tried to duck but the missile hit him squarely in the face without knocking him off his perch. To his surprise Arthur discovered the thing was a makeshift rope, made from a couple of sheets that someone had tied together.

Surely the monster wasn’t trying to help him reach the chamber beyond the window? He hoped one of his friends was responsible for this rescue attempt. Had he found Gawain? The sheets dangled invitingly in front of Arthur’s nose. Half bemused by this act of chivalry and half suspicious it might turn out to be a trap Arthur grabbed hold off the makeshift rope, climbed up and scrambled through the open window. Strong paws grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into the chamber, where he landed with a thump on the floor. He sprang up and swished Excalibur through the air to dissuade rather than injure any inmate within the chamber, forcing the monster to retreat by a few paces.

A quick survey revealed the chamber was empty apart from the monster and a few items of furniture. The room was a shabby but comfortable lady’s bedchamber with a four-poster bed and some old-fashioned, carved chairs, chests and tables. On a sideboard close to the window Arthur discovered a plate with food. He sniffed it and found it to be fresh. In fact, it was a breakfast fit for a prince! There was a loaf of white bread and a hunk of goat’s cheese, a dressed crab and some radishes. With a pang he realised it was ages since he’d eaten anything. He tore a chunk out of the loaf and chewed the bread gratefully, before continuing his prowl around the chamber. The bed was unmade and now missing its sheets, the heavy oak door had been forced open and was hanging off its hinges. Occasional tables and chairs had been tossed aside; the floor was littered with clothes, shoes and the shards of a broken water pitcher. The rug on the floor showed a fresh bloodstain: this was the scene of a recent struggle!

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!” The monster was clearly determined to communicate.

Arthur couldn’t help but smile, when he saw the state his new-found friend was in. Apart from a torn mail shirt, dirty linen, hose and one boot, the creature was wearing shackles and chains, which had been tied around his ankles and secured to the oak beams of the four-poster. Arthur looked around, but saw no sign of socks or the second boot. He sidled past his woolly-headed rescuer and made for the door. The creature darted forward to stop him but was instantly pulled back by the limitations of the chain. It allowed the creature to reach the sideboard and window, but not the doorway, where Arthur stood surveying the room. Seeing the relief on Arthur’s face, the monster began to frantically wave its furry arms around, its huge paws first pointing at the window, then at the bed.

Arthur shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry, I don’t speak Behemoth. I’m not ungrateful, but if you think I’m going to release you, you must be even stupider than you look.”

The monster growled and tore at its chains, pointing at Excalibur. “Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!”

“No matter how often you repeat this, Friend, I’m not going to set you free. There’s a good reason why somebody chained you. It’s your striking features, my Friend! I don’t wonder the lady of the house tied a fine looking fellow like you to that bedpost over there. It’s not very chivalrous to interfere with a lady’s plans, so I’m bidding you good day and take my leave. Thank you for your help with the rope, though. Oh, I must thank you for the food, too.” Arthur said with bulging cheeks. He waved a cheerful goodbye and headed once more for the door. “Fine bread…thank the lady of the house for me, there’s a good chap. Oh, don’t bother seeing me out.” He grinned and turned to leave.

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!” The first radish hit Arthur right between the shoulder blades. The second caught his left ear. He wheeled around and faced the disgruntled occupant of the bedchamber, about to strike again. The monster raised its furry paw, aimed and had fired the next missile before Arthur could dive out of the way. The third radish hit Arthur squarely between his nipples. He squinted down at the angry red patch on his chest and took a deep breath.

“Ouch, that hurt! Stop playing with your food, will you?”

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!” The fourth radish caught Arthur on the nose.

“Now look here! I haven’t got time to play,” Arthur gingerly fingered the tip of his nose. “Behave until the lady comes back. No doubt she’ll know how to tame you.” When his eyes had stopped welling up with the pain, Arthur realised there was something strangely familiar about the beast. Where on earth had he seen that tattered piece of chainmail before?

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!”The creature threw its arms in the air and started to wail, when Arthur took one step across the threshold. Sinking to the floor, the monster kept pointing at Excalibur, before hugging its knees tightly and starting to wail. Arthur merely shrugged his shoulders, but the creature shot up, darted over to the sideboard and snatched the dressed crab.

“Don’t you dare!” Arthur raised his arms to shield his face. To his surprise no fishy missile arrived. He peered cautiously through his fingers and gasped.

Balancing on one leg, the monster had stuck the crab to its big toe and held its fishy foot up into the air! “Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!”

“Whatever next? Juggling? You’re quite the entertainer, aren’t you?”

By way of a reply his new friend hurled the crab at the wall, where it left a greasy stain before sliding down to the sideboard below and landing with a clang on the platter. The creature sank back to the floor and started to tear out its fur from an abundant supply on its head and bat-like ears, letting the tufts drift through the open window on a current of fresh air. Temporarily disarmed by the picture of misery before him, Arthur risked a step closer. The creature immediately lunged at him, grabbed his legs and brought him down, before wrestling Excalibur from his hands. The woolly-headed rescuer shot up and backed away towards the bed, holding the sword with the expertise of a man at arms. Instead of slicing his head off as expected, Arthur discovered the creature was swishing the sword through the air in a fashion that was as familiar to Arthur as his own daily gripe concerning the lack of attention paid to His Majesty’s bath water was to his servant Merlin. There was only ONE knight in all of Camelot who held a sword like that!

“No! It can’t be…Gawain? Is that you?”

“Lllleeeeeegggge Aaarrrgggguuurrr!” The creature dropped Excalibur, thumped its barrel chest and opened its arms to give Arthur a bear hug that squeezed the air from his lungs and left him gasping. It took Arthur a moment or two to recover. Holding him at arms’ length, the hog-nosed Gawain eyed Arthur keenly and pointed at the shackles around his furry feet.

“You’re right. It’s obvious when I think about it.” Arthur grinned from ear to ear. “Chained to a lady’s bedpost…that could only happen to you!” He struck at Gawain’s chains and Excalibur set the woolly-headed knight free. “Who did this to you? No, forget I asked. A knight of the round table doesn’t kiss and tell.” Arthur’s hand clamped Gawain’s snout shut, before the knight could utter another wail. “Show me, where have the trolls taken the others?”

By way of a reply Gawain grabbed Arthur’s hand and shook it solemnly, before dragging him through the doorway and down the spiral staircase at tremendous speed.

“Wwwwitcheeees, Aaarrrgggguuurrr.” Gawain growled, taking three steps at once.

“Please, let’s not have another lesson in Behemoth!”


“Who needs lessons? I’m fluent already!” Arthur panted after his friend. “Don’t tell me, my dollop-headed servant’s in trouble again.” They reached the final step of the spiral stair case and shrank into a dark niche. “Just wait until I get my hands on him! Merlin left me without a stitch to wear at that lake,” Arthur pointed at his inadequate hose. “You wouldn’t happen to know where the trolls left my breeches?”

Gawain snorted and put two fat, furry digits to what passed as his lips, urging Arthur to silence.

Two guards watched the entrance from across the courtyard. “What we need is a little distraction.” Grinning, Arthur pushed Gawain out into the yard, where the startled guards first eyed the creature with alarm, then with unbridled amusement.

“Bless me, they’ve certainly done for you, mate! Not up to the ladies’ standards, were you? Don’t take it to heart, Friend, rumour has it our leader Unding got his fine looks for the same reason!” The guards burst out laughing, pointing their fingers at Gawain’s bat-ears and wild boar snout. They came closer and tried to finger the tufty tips of his ears. Coyly, Gawain tried to evade their advances, covering his ears with his paws. Roaring with laughter, the men tried to tickle Gawain’s woolly chin instead, but he fought them off and they started to chase him around the courtyard.

When the merry gang came hurtling past his hidey-hole for the second time, Arthur stepped out of his niche and rapped the guards smartly on the head with Excalibur’s broadside, while Gawain finished them off with a left hook on the chin.


“I couldn’t have put it better myself, Gawain!”

A loud BANG like an explosion shattered the peace of the quiet courtyard. Gawain dragged the two guards into the niche by the stairs and raced after Arthur into the castle’s interior where the echo of cries and the clamour of battle threatened to drown out the tremor and noise of a second explosion.

English: John Hurt at the Cannes film festival

English: The Lamentation of King Arthur

English: The Lamentation of King Arthur (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…/to be continued…

My Home is my Castle

This is an illustration of a castle from Webst...

Merlinians (official name for fans of the BBC’s hit show Merlin) know there are few places more beautiful or inspiring than the Great Hall at Pierrefonds Castle. In episode 13, at the end of series 4, King Arthur finally gets to marry his Guinevere and we see a beaming Merlin and what looks like a cast of thousands fill the gorgeous throne room – achieved with the aid of modern CGI magic, which duplicated a handful of extras many times to achieve such spectator numbers at Arthur’s wedding.

The Great Hall in any castle was – apart from the walled fortifications – the most important room in the entire citadel. Castles started off as military strongholds that required constant change in design in order to impress and dissuade any potential attacker.

Curtain walls were reinforced, new gates installed with an even stronger portcullis, higher towers were built with differently designed arrow slits to allow easy aim at the besieging army camping below the defensive walls and deeper, wider moats were dug to deter attackers from reaching the curtain walls in the first place.

Château de Saumur, Frankreich

Château de Saumur, Frankreich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Throughout the centuries the design of castles changed with the increase and decrease of the threat of war. Tastes changed, too, and overlords began to seek greater creature comforts for their living quarters. The most common designs for princely castles that were built “from scratch” were the triangle as seen at Castle le Cain in Poitier and the trapezium, which was chosen as the layout for Castle Saumur at the Loire River in the region of Anjou. Pierrefonds on the other hand sports a simpler layout with a rectangle.

The more the 100-year war between England and France progressed, the higher curtain walls and towers became. When during the middle of the 14th century new techniques in attacks with scaling ladders were introduced, the curtain walls and towers had to be adapted yet again. Some changes must also be put down to the invention of “better” weaponry such as the crossbow becoming a metal bow (ballista), increasing its deadly efficiency in the process.

Crossbows had gone somewhat out of fashion after the Vikings had used them extensively on the population of Paris during the siege of 885 to 886. At some point the use of the crossbow was even banned, but that didn’t stop someone to shoot a bolt at Richard the Lion Heart in 1199 and end his life.


Anjou (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With the resurgence of the much improved crossbow, arrow slits had to be moved further up the castle’s defences, as a skilled crossbowman was quite capable of hitting the defender from quite low down. Mobile siege towers also played their part in changing the design of castles, but that’s a subject for another blog!

How castles changed with the misfortunes of time can be seen at Angers, also a Loire Castle in Anjou. There are Norman style and Gothic kitchens as well as Gallo-Roman curtain walls that date to the 13th century. The facade of the towers and gates display René of Anjou’s coat of arms, but one was added in around 1435 and the other in 1453 – the same man or father and son?

The Great Hall was generally not furnished with more than the throne for the princely butt, except for later centuries developing an expensive taste for tapestries. Tapestries and other wall hangings were as much a means to keep the draught out as they were a means to advertise the owner’s status.

Château de Saumur, Frankreich

Château de Saumur, Frankreich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When furniture was needed, simple benches and trestle tables would be brought in. Feasting was always a joyous occasion and singers, dancers and musicians would entertain the guests, while an army of servants like the long-suffering Merlin would see to the overlord’s and guests’ every need. Interestingly, early medieval knights, who had been called to arms by their overlords, were expected to provide their services for free and to pay for their own upkeep for around 3 months, after which they could either go home or receive pay. This, of course, puts quite a different spin on these banquets!

While in France the troubadours entertained with witty songs, ballads, romantic poetry and wisdoms, Minnesänger performed this task in Germany. Two of the most famous names are Walter von der Vogelweide and Wolfram von Eschenbach. There has been much debate about the latter, whether or not he really was of noble blood. What is certain is that both contemporaries were incredibly gifted poets and it is a joy to still read their work after so many centuries have passed.

At Poitiers Castle, which is located in the border region between Anjou and the Auvergne, the ducal Great Hall was renamed to reflect its most frequent use: La Salle des Pas Perdus means the Hall of Lost Footsteps and forms part of the law courts – implying that anyone expecting justice might as well get lost…no, actually, it’s called that way because the hall is so vast.

The architect Jean de Berry fashioned the Great Hall’s refurbishment at Poitiers and gave the northern gable a “modern” facelift as well as adding three gigantic fireplaces to keep the noble backside warm. A huge and very beautiful glass window was also inserted, so that Henry II Plantagenet’s castle could have more light and heat at to please the dukes of Poitiers.

The noble backside would be seated on a chair that was placed on a pedestal, from where the king or duke would hear debates and discussions, decide over disputes between his subjects or intervene in any matters pertaining to his lands.

Poitiers Cathedral

Poitiers Cathedral (Photo credit: marco83)

The Great Hall was really a very public living space that could be totally bare and forbidding at one moment and sumptuous and regal the next.

Here are some links to the castles mentioned in my blog:

Château d’Angers

Château de Poitiers

Château de Saumur

Château de Pierrefonds

Places that inspire: Pierrefonds Castle France

One member of the BBC’s Merlin family drama I haven’t really mentioned, yet, is Pierrefonds Castle, which is as much a member of the actors’ ensemble as Richard Wilson, Angel Coulby or Anthony Head.

Prior to the First Crusade in 1096 most of the “castles” and fortified houses were wooden structures perched on earthworks affording good views across the countryside in case anyone was foolish enough to attack the knight and his entourage.

From the start of the 11th century onwards the aristocracy began to litter the European landscape with fortified mansions and castles. By the arrival of the 100 year war between France and England northern France in particular resembled one gigantic Fort Knox.


Pierrefonds (Photo credit: chogenbo)

Pierrefonds Castle is located roughly in the middle of Flanders, around 80 km north of Paris; it formed part of a fierce defence line along the Seine River to guard the metropolis.  In medieval times, Paris was one of the largest cities in Europe, with more than 200,000 inhabitants before the plague decimated European populations everywhere.

The citadel is beautifully located on the southeast edge of the Forest of Compiègne, between the villages of Villers-Cotterêts and Compiègne, where the BBC’s actors and crews are staying during the two months or so of filming in France.

Pierrefonds Castle as we see it today is really a 19th century romantic dream brought to life by a rich man called Eugène Viollet le Duc. The original castle dates back to the 12th century, but was rebuilt before 1407 by Louis d’Orléans; later the castle fell into disrepair after parts of it were destroyed after a successful siege in March 1617.

It is one of the few fully restored castles in Europe of that era. Pierrefonds was of course rebuilt and enhanced to 19th century ideas of what the Middle Ages were like – and oddly enough, we still imagine the Middle Ages in very much the same way today.

Plan of the present castle

Plan of the present castle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hollywood in particular has played a great part in our idea of what medieval times were like – think Errol Flynn and Robin Hood or Robert Taylor and Ivanhoe. Film makers give us a “flavour” of the Middle Ages, not the real thing, which historians often lament but which, thankfully, most film makers ignore. The one film that springs to mind which did have a whole army of historians on hand to get the “look” and production values right was The Name of the Rose; it is a film adaptation of Umberto Eco’s novel set during the religious upheaval of the 14th century, starring Sean Connery as the monk turned sleuth.

The stark look of the surroundings and the squalor the monks lived in put some cinema goers and critics off – but people were either grindingly poor or fabulously wealthy with little else in between – not unlike Britain today, come to think of it!

A middle class or rather affluent merchant class was beginning to emerge, most notably in my home town of Lübeck and the other free city states of northern Germany, where the merchant guild The Hanse was founded. Most people, however, lived off the land and were very poor, which the film makers tried to incorporate in their depiction of medieval life at a monastery.

Before the arrival of gun powder and canons, castle keeps surrounded by walled fortifications were the only real defence an overlord and therefore his king had against invaders from outside the realm. Villagers and peasants flocked to these walled mini-cities, where market days were eventually introduced to provide a place of commerce that brought in taxes for the lord of the manor and cloth, food, drink, livestock and various household goods to the ordinary men and women living in and around the citadel and outlying homesteads.

It was rare for castles to be taken by brute force – unlike the great battles envisaged in Peter Jackson’s and Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, medieval attackers relied on sieges and patience to wear the occupants of a castle down rather than attack. With the arrival of gun powder castles became less useful and so eventually fell into disuse and ruin.

Vue generale du chateau de Pierrefonds

Vue generale du chateau de Pierrefonds (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most prominent at Pierrefonds are the many statues and gargoyle-type critters, fantastical creatures that the producers and writers of the show used to great effect in one episode (where flying monkeys came to life and attacked the castle’s occupants). Nine Valiant Knights are depicted as statues that stand guard in the recesses of Pierrefonds’s towers. They are the counterpart of the famous Nine Worthy Women at Castle Le Ferté-Milon just a few miles down the road.

Chateau de Pierrefonds has been used many times in films and TV series like Highlander, les Visiteurs, and the film The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, the 1998 version of the Man in the Iron Mask and now, of course, the BBC’s Merlin.

For more information on this lovely part of France and pictures of Pierrefonds Castle try these links:


Pierrefonds (Photo credit: chogenbo)

Français : Château de La Ferté-Milon (02).

Français : Château de La Ferté-Milon (02). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The region also has castles at Berzy-le-Sec, Septmonts, Crouy-sur-Ourcq, Le louvre, Vincennes, Blandy-les-Tours and the aforementioned La Ferté-Milon. Visitors must hire a car or use pedal power to get to these wonderful places – sadly, there appear to be no train links or other useful public transport options.

The second part of this blog will be dealing with the different components of a castle such as the great hall, the private apartments, the gates, galleries and watch towers. I’m off now to start incorporating the magic of Pierrefonds and medieval castles into my epic adventure of Merlin fan fiction!

(source of animation:, all picture credits Wikipedia)